Only Human
by Rhonda Night
Summary: Set after season 3. Sookie finds herself in need of help with only Eric to turn to. Then, due to a strange twist, Eric becomes the one in need.Can they help each other and learn to work together? Random musings as I wait for season 4
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball_

_This is just some random thoughts of mine about what might happen between Eric and Sookie after the end of season three. It combines aspects of both the show and the book with some twists to keep my mind occupied during the lull between seasons. Obviously I'm praying that AB sticks to book four with the new season, but just for fun I've been toying with it; that's the joy of fanfiction, yes?_

_Also I picked story lines to ignore from both places, mostly because I can't keep up with all that's going on, especially in Trueblood. So, Tara is gone but Sam is normal and Tommy never showed up (I love Tommy, but I just can't deal with psycho Sam) and I'm sure there are a ton of other changes. Review and let me know what you want to see!_

Although his skin remained icy, Eric groaned in pleasure as the hot rain of his shower cascaded over him. He ran a hand experimentally over his hair and scowled as the frozen clumps refused to yield to the onslaught of water and shampoo. As he washed the dried patches of cement from his body, he wondered once again if he had done the right thing in letting Bill Compton live. The easiest path, of course, and the first one his mind had sprung to, was to destroy the bastard. Yet, there was so much that could go awry with that plan seeing as how Compton obviously had dealings with the Queen and how attached Sookie was to him.

Sookie. His hand paused mid-scrub as he let himself be overcome by the assault of emotions the human was struggling with at this very moment. He felt her confusion, anger, and heartache keenly and he considered them objectively. It was clear she was too upset now to be rational but he knew in time she would recognize the service he had given her. Better to find out now of Compton's betrayal rather than waste her precious time with his sniveling lies. Still, Bill wasn't out of the picture; Eric knew that simply by watching the younger vampire grovel on Sookie's doorstep with tears and promises that made Eric nauseous. Perhaps the true death was required for the vampire, Eric pondered. But no, he knew that the final end of Bill would break what little composure Sookie had left and, more importantly, she was clever enough to trace the hit back to him and that would get him nowhere with the woman.

Where exactly he wanted to go with Sookie was still a mystery even to him. Eric shut off the tap and began toweling off absently. He had lusted after her from the moment he first laid eyes on her and became intrigued by her soon after. After over one thousand years roaming this Earth, he was certain he had never met another like Sookie Stackhouse. What is was about her he could not quite get a handle on and that both frustrated and interested him intensely. When he had first discovered her true genealogy he had felt swept away by relief. If there existed any one clear reason why his mind was so captivated by the Southern belle here it was: fae blood.

Deep down, however, he perceived the stirring of something within himself that he didn't recognize, yet had to acknowledge. It's not just the blood. It wasn't Sookie's fairy lineage that intruded on his thoughts so frequently, it was the woman herself. That became abundantly clear when Russell's interest in her threatened to ruin Eric's plan. He could have used her so much earlier, so much more, and it would have advanced his quest for revenge. Yet he had always known that he would not, that he could not, do that to her and the idea of Russell getting hold of Sookie almost pushed Eric to the brink of revealing his true intentions to the king.

No, after everything that had happened, he knew now more than ever that there was something about Sookie Stackhouse for which he longed.

Eric began to feel the familiar pull that indicated the sun was approaching. He only had a few hours before he must bed. He had so much to which he must attend: the vampire movement had been dealt a serious blow with Russell's extreme acts, The Authority would want answers, Fangtasia was clearly a mess from vandalism and theft, Yvetta. He pressed his fingers against the bridge of his noise in frustration. That stupid woman. He considered sending someone after her, she wouldn't be hard to locate with his resources after all, but he quickly concluded that an effort like that would be a waste. Let her run. As long as she was smart enough never to show her face in his area again he would not seek revenge.

He silently took inventory of his latest retaliation. He had longed for so long to make good on his word to his father that he had assumed only peace could follow its fulfillment. Still somehow he felt restless. The image of Godric tugged on his mind painfully. His Maker's disappointment in him stung and Eric wondered briefly if he was going insane.

So much had happened in so short a time and he still had so many problems to settle. He felt very much his age in that moment. His body continued to warn him of the sun's imminent approach and he resolved to ponder his next moves carefully in the remainder of the night. That and Sookie. Always Sookie.


	2. Chapter 2

Sookie awoke with a thunderous ache in her head and a tightness in her chest. Her eyes burned painfully and as she swung her legs over the side of her bed she struggled with the disconcerting effects of vertigo for a few seconds. Forcing herself to get up, she stumbled over to her window and took a cautious peek outside. She hissed in agony at the bright flash of sunshine that hit her and quickly backed away from the glow. When her legs hit the bed she let herself slump onto it and snickered, mentally scolding herself.

'_Guess I've been hanging out with vampires too much.' _

As quickly as her mirth had emerged it vanished as the painful revelations of the week before came rushing back to her. The weight on her chest intensified so much that she clutched her hand to her heart and gasped. For a second it had been so easy to forget that her world was in shambles. She gazed at her rumpled pillows and sheets and considered crawling back into bed for the day. In all honesty, what was the point of getting up?

Just as her head hit the pillow, her phone let out a shriek. Eying the device across the room, Sookie pulled her blanket over her head in determination. The phone continued its shrill call and she continued to ignore it. Finally, her machine clicked on.

"Sookie? Hi, it's me." Sam. "Listen cher, I know you've had a lot going on and you've been too busy to work but I'm really stuck her today." Sookie poked her head out from under the blanket, the static in her hair making it swirl in front of her eyes.

"Arlene called out because one of the kids is sick and with Tara gone it's just…I know you're busy. I'm real sorry to bug you like this." A long pause. "I was just hoping that maybe you're free today to come in and work until close?" Sookie's sigh sounded as if it emerged from the depths of her soul but she forced herself to stand and pad over to the phone. "I'm _real_ sorry," Sam was repeating emphatically.

"Sam." Sookie's voice was still crusted with sleep and tears.

"Sookie!" The relief in Sam's voice was evident and she could almost hear him make the decision to ignore the husk of grief in her tone. "So good to hear you cher! Look, I know this is probably a bad time but,"

"I'll come in Sam. Don't worry."

"You will? Oh that's great, Sookie, really great! You're a real life saver here."

Sam was rambling on happily but Sookie just whispered, "Okay see you soon" and gently placed the phone back in its cradle even as Sam's voice chirped out the other end.

Although she had spent the better part of the last week in bed, the exertion of the short conversation almost brought her to her knees. It was mostly knowing that she had to face the world today, that she had to put up her shields and hear people's happy thoughts and people's evil ones and serve them while all she really longed to do was shut herself off from everything and everyone forever.

Going into the bathroom she stared hard at herself in the mirror and attempted to steady her nerves. She tried to think about what Gran would have said to her in this situation. Peering at her reflection, Sookie took in her greasy hair and blood-shot eyes. She raised her arms slowly. Great, she smelled to high heaven too. Shaking her head she began to brush her teeth. What Gran would have said, she decided, was to stop wallowing and get a move on. Sure her one and only boyfriend whom she had loved had lied to her and endangered her life, sure their entire relationship was based on lies but…she paused mid-brush stroke and glanced longingly into the other room at her bed.

She turned back to the mirror and looked herself dead in the eyes. '_But_,' she told herself, '_I'm still here. I've still got me._' Feeling a bit encouraged she attempted a smile and although it didn't reach her eyes, it lifted her spirits and she pulled her nightgown over her head and stepped into the shower. Life was still going on out there. She leaned her head back so the water flowed down her body. Life. _Life_.

Merlotte's was humming with activity that afternoon and Sookie found herself easily falling back into the routine. Her perky smile stayed plastered to her face and she consciously added an extra bounce to her step to make her ponytail swing around her neck.

As she placed an order at the window her attention was drawn to the television where a news anchor drawled on about the Vampire Rights Amendment being taken to the Supreme Court.

"I mean this is social injustice we're talking about here!" A protestor on the screen lamented. "Many of these vampires are older than any human is. They helped build this country and now we're taking away their rights? What's next-"

Sookie angrily switched the station over to a fly fishing show. Taking away their rights? What about my right to the truth? To a normal life? She seethed.

"Girlfriend, you alright?" Lafayette's long lashes blinked at her from the kitchen.

"Oh yeah I," she faltered for a moment. "I'm just sick of vampires right now is all."

Lafayette arched an eyebrow. "Well go on girl. You get yours." Sookie's smile felt more like a grimace and she picked up a plate and whirled to deliver it. "Hey Sook," She turned back. "You ain't heard from my cousin have you?"

Sookie placed the plate back on the ledge and lowered her eyes. "No I," she sighed. "I haven't. Have you?" Lafayette shook his head slowly. "We haven't been on the best…I mean she was…" Sookie struggled to find the right words. "I wasn't a very good friend to her. She was mad at me and I was mad at her and, and we just haven't been talking much. I thought things were going to get better, but then she left." She paused and looked up. "I'm sorry."

Lafayette looked thoughtful as he flipped a burger. "That girl, she has a lot a demons she's runnin' from. She be back." The assurance in his voice brought tears to her eyes but she nodded briskly and served a table their food. She vowed she wouldn't fall apart at work.

By the end of her shift Sookie's head was thundering again but this time it was the familiar ache of her mental shields and she welcomed the assault. The routine of the day had felt good and she even found comfort in the normalcy of this pain. '_Caused by me being abnormal'_ she though wryly as she drove home.

As she got out of her car, she stood in the driveway and regarded her silent house. There was a time not too long ago where this place had been full of love and laughter. A time when coming home from work she would walk into Gran reading a romance novel on the couch and a comforting home-cooked meal waiting in the oven. After Gran had died Bill had become her family and she had felt warm and safe in his cold embrace. She wasn't sure if she could have gotten through her grandmother's death if it hadn't been for Bill. Then again, if it hadn't been for Bill her grandmother would probably still be alive. Shaking herself from these dark thoughts she went inside and made herself a cup of tea.

Curling up in the old armchair, she switched on the television and let herself be pulled into the swirling, light-hearted chaos of a romantic comedy.

Later, as the movie drew to a close, she reflected once again on her own love life. Her handicap had prevented her from having any serious or meaningful relationships before Bill, and as she reviewed the courtship she marveled at how fast it had progressed. She had fallen head over heels for him almost immediately, like a love-sick teenager, like someone with little experience who was so unjaded she could easily be taken advantage of.

Wrapping her hands around her mug she couldn't help but shake her head. Now that the utter shock and pain were beginning to lessen slightly, the seeds of anger and embarrassment emerged within her. It must have been so easy for Bill to make her love and trust him. He really must have gotten a laugh over it. Give her a bit of the old blood and a tender look and presto! Ladies and gentlemen we have a sucker.

She should have known better. She should have listened to Tara. Her heart ached at the thought of her best friend and the neglect the friendship had received over the past months. _'Just when Tara needed me most,_' Sookie mourned._ 'Just when I needed her most, we weren't there for each other._' Tara had known right away that Bill wasn't to be trusted. She saw right through his ruse of good manners and his handsome face. She knew no vampire could be trusted.

At this angry thought Sookie's mind drifted inevitably to Eric. She thought bitterly of the way he had snarled at her in Russell's house and used her as bait for the old king, at the way he had forced her to be bitten by two vampires and locked her up in his sadistic basement. She thought also of the way he had joked with her on her front porch before the whole mess got out of control, how he had protected her from the werewolf and worried about her. She remembered the longing look in his eyes as he towered over her in his office and the passionate yet surprisingly gentle way he held her as they kissed. She could almost still feel his expert lips working against her own, one hand tangled in her hair the other clutching her desperately closer. It had been easy to see the apology in his eyes before he bit her and she had been grateful, even in her terrified state, of his reassuring strokes of her hair while he and Russell fed. And then he had attempted to sacrifice himself, would have, in fact, had she not stopped him, for revenge yes, but also for those he cared about: Pam and, she suspected, herself. She had roared angrily at him when he delivered the message of Bill's lies, but although that night was a blur of emotions and events, she remembered vividly his expression when he apologized for hurting her with the truth. How could someone be so simultaneously evil and scheming while being caring and truthful?

Realizing that Eric was too complicated a subject to think about at this time, Sookie rose and rinsed out her mug then headed off to bed. No doubt it would be another night full of tossing and turning and thinking about the only lover she had ever known who revealed himself to be a dark stranger and the frightening unknown of another vampire who seemed time and time again to be her only ally.

She dreamt of her mother and father for the first time in years. She watched from afar as waves rushed over the bridge and filled their car. She saw her father pull at her mother, trying desperately to tug her free of the vehicle, and then like a monster the water rose to engulf them and drag them into its abyss.

She awoke abruptly, her skin clammy and sticky with tears. Sitting up and wrapping her arms around herself she let the sound of her own breathing lure her into a calm. Then, she heard it again: the sound that had woken her up. Someone was banging on her door, a loud, practiced rap that rang through the house sternly. Glancing at her bedside clock she saw that it was nine in the morning. She wrapped herself in her bathrobe and cautiously opened the door.

"Andy?" The surprise was evident in her voice and he looked agitated. He squinted and shifted from foot to foot and scratched the back of his balding head impatiently.

"Well is he here?"

"Who? Bill?" She asked stupidly and Andy snuffled out a breath and adjusted his belt.

"No. Jason."

"Jason," Sookie repeated slowly, her mind still hazy from sleep. "Jason? No. What… why are you looking for Jason?"

Andy shook his head and tried to peer around her into the house. "That's official police business Ms. Stackhouse. But you know if you're hiding him you'll be in trouble." His voice was gruff and angry. Taking a step closer, Sookie let down her guard.

'_Goddamn idiot. First he goes and warns those lowlifes about the raid. Then next thing you know the whole damn town's empty and the fool's nowhere to be found!'_

"Raid?" Sookie asked feeling her stress level rising steadily. "What raid Andy? What has my brother gotten himself into? Where is he?"

Andy looked chagrined. He considered not saying anything else but then blurted, "I don't know. He's up and disappeared along with the rest of those hill billy drug dealers."

"Drug dealers?"

"This is serious, Sookie. The DEA is in on this. People are coming down from New Orleans. Jason, he, he got involved in something he shouldn't have. If he wants a chance to come out relatively unscathed he better show up and soon."

He left shortly after, convinced by her dramatic state that she knew nothing of her brother's whereabouts. Sookie shut the door to block out Andy's retreating figure and leaned against it. _'Oh Jason what have you done?' _


	3. Chapter 3

Drumming her fingers on her table Sookie tried calling Jason's cell phone for the tenth time in so many minutes. _Shit_. Each time her brother's upbeat voice answered her, asking her to "please leave a message because I'm not around right now," her heart sank further.

She tried to think of the last time she had seen her brother. His house when she was hiding from Russell. Before that, when? After the hospital? She sank her head into her hands. First Tara now Jason, had she neglected everyone in her life when she was wrapped up with Bill? Her head shot up. Jason had been so angry at Bill for feeding on her. He couldn't have gone after him, Bill could have easily... No, no. She tried to calm her racing heart. Bill would never have hurt her brother and she would have known by now if something had happened to him.

What about Tara? What if Jason had told Tara about Eggs and Tara she, she… Sookie trailed off of that thought. She just couldn't imagine Tara hurting her brother and if Jason had run off with her friend she was certain he would have somehow gotten word to her, wouldn't he? She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

Okay, what did she know? When she was in Jason's house she had absentmindedly looked at his thoughts and seen something about a girl, about were-panthers. If she hadn't been so wrapped up in vampire bullshit she would have questioned him about it. Why was Jason involved with drug dealers and supernatural creatures? She weighed her options carefully then grabbed the phone.

A man's voice answered on the second ring and a little thrill shot through her at the sound of it.

"Hi, Alcide? I'm having a problem and I was hoping you could help." She quickly explained the situation to him and waited with bated breath as he thought over her circumstances.

Overwhelmed by the silence she leaped in, "They could have taken him, Alcide. I mean they're panthers and, and drug dealers and he's just Jason and they could have taken him somewhere and how will I ever find him?" She could hear the edge of panic in her voice but she didn't know how to calm herself down. She would die if something had happened to Jason while she had been too busy to notice.

"Okay, okay," Alcide's voice was a deep and calm rumble. "Look, I don't know much about these people, alright Sookie? But I'll look into it. We have connections. I'll find out what I can and I'll get back to you. Okay?"

"Okay," she murmured.

"Listen to me Sookie. Don't you do anything rash right now okay? A lot of shit has been going on and it would be easy to panic but you can't right now, you hear me? We'll find out what happened to Jason okay? I promise. It's probably something silly. What we don't need right now is for you to run off and get into more trouble, okay?"

The steadiness in his voice helped brush back the hysteria bubbling at the back of her throat and she swallowed and nodded. Then, realizing he couldn't see her, she said quickly, "yes, right, okay."

"Okay," Alcide sighed. "Now I'm going to look into this alright? I'll get back to you."

Sookie hung up the phone with trembling fingers and then sat silently watching it, willing it through her stillness to ring.

Hours later, she remained in the same spot, the phone gripped so tightly in her hand that her knuckles were white. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. No word from Alcide and definitely no word from Jason. What could she do? She wondered desperately if Bill would be up yet. If she ran across the cemetery and collapsed in his arms and confessed everything that was wrong he would fix it. The possibility twisted her stomach in equal parts pain and hope.

She glanced outside to see the sky streaked with orange as the sun set. Without another thought she leapt up and dashed outside the house, not even bothering to lock her door.

When she reached her destination she took a few calming breaths. She straightened her shirt and climbed out of her car. The music thumped loudly outside Fangtasia and the line behind the red velvet rope was as long as she had ever seen it. She noted that the graffiti present the last time she was here was gone and as she walked toward the entrance she couldn't help but glance down at the spot where Eric and Russell had burned together. She shuddered at the memory and then smiled weakly at Pam who was working the door.

"Well hello there," Pam drawled showing some fang in her pleasure. A few of the people waiting in line gasped in awe. One clapped. "What's the occasion?" Pam eyed her up and down and Sookie shifted, uncomfortably aware that her t-shirt and jeans made her stand sorely out of place among the gothic and promiscuous dress code present.

"I need to talk to Eric," She said shortly and Pam raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"Well," she breathed "Go on inside." She unclipped the hook and ushered Sookie closer to the door. Those left in the line made noises of protest but Pam shot them a look and they immediately silenced. "You go on" Pam told Sookie "I have to stay out here before they get nosebleeds from the rejection."

Sookie continued reluctantly into the bar. It had been a long time since she had been inside when it was lit up in all its glory. The lights were dim and the music here reached such crescendo that it vibrated her whole body. The place was full of bodies, some alive and some undead, and people were swaying and grinding and screaming to be heard over the beat. The effect of the experience left her feeling off-kilter and a little nauseous. She hesitated and looked around for Eric's blond head. Seeing mostly drunken humans she stopped where she stood and began to rethink her plan. When someone brushed intimately against her from behind she whipped around. The man treated her to a show of his fangs and with a pang of panic she turned to leave.

"Sookie." She felt a cool hand on her arm and although she wasn't sure how she heard him over the roar of the bar she knew it was Eric. Relief flooded her and she turned to face him. He was dressed all in black and the mood lighting made his face look severe.

Sookie wrung her hands anxiously and looked around. "I have to talk to you." Her ears felt cottony from the experience and she couldn't be sure she had even spoken but the look on his face confirmed that he had heard her. He motioned with his head and turned to begin walking. She stumbled a little against the mass of people straining to get a look at him up close. He turned back and furrowed his brow before placing a hand softly on the small of her back and leading her to his office.

He closed the door behind them and sat behind his desk. The silent room was such a drastic change from the bar that Sookie felt her ears ringing and echoing the noise they had just withstood. She resisted the urge to check to see if they were bleeding.

"My God," She gasped. "How do you stand it? Your hearing is even better than mine, times a million probably, it would drive me crazy!"

He tilted his head slightly and smirked at her "You see the sacrifices I make for my fans." He placed his fingertips together and leaned forward and she knew he was waiting for her to speak. She could tell by his serious expression that he felt her emotional upheaval and was expecting something from her.

Feeling uncertain, she began walking around his office fingering different objects. His eyes followed her every movement.

"So you got the bar back open alright," she burst out surprising herself. "It looks pretty good. No lingering problems with vandalism?"

Eric studied her for a second longer then leaned back in his chair. "Yes, well," he said dryly. "It appears those who felt so strongly against Fangtasia only felt so when there were no vampires around to discuss the issue with them." His face remained serious and for a moment she felt a rush of sadness for all the vampires were going through right now.

"Well I'm happy for you that everything is back to normal because it's not right that people did that to your place." He raised his eyebrows slightly but made no comment. "I mean you work real hard and it's just not right that people would try to hurt you like that. And also," she babbled "also I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for those things I said to you that night about you going back to hell and all that. I mean you've been a big jerk to me a lot lately but I have this feeling that you also, you know, saved my life and so thanks, I guess. And for," she faltered. "And for telling me. Although I'm not sure your motives were entirely honorable." She narrowed her eyes briefly at him. "I… thank you I mean. I guess."

A small smile was tugging at his lips and she looked away in embarrassment and irritation. In a flash she suddenly remembered that the last time she had been in here alone with him he had kissed her. A kiss to which, with little resistance, she had responded to intensely. A kiss that was still featured in her secret fantasy file and made her toes curl.

"Is this what you came here to tell me Sookie?" He stood up and before he could come any closer she held up a hand and took a step back.

"No, no." She stammered. "I came here because…because my brother is missing and I don't know who to turn to for help. I don't want to go to Sam because he's so busy and we haven't really been in touch lately, and Tara's gone, and I asked Alcide and he hasn't gotten back to me, and I can't go to Bill because, well because you know, and also maybe he's involved! And," she trailed off and looked him in the eyes. "I don't know what to _do_, Eric."

He stood silently for a moment. "You went through quite a list before you decided to come to me." Sookie scoffed at his vanity.

"Honestly, Eric, after all that all you got from it was I didn't come to you first? You know, you don't exactly scream the most trustworthy in my list of people."

Eric opened his mouth to speak and Sookie braced herself as she realized all of the hurtful things he could say about the people she had trusted, but instead he smiled and then nodded thoughtfully. "True enough."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"So…"

"So." She made a motion with her hands and he sat back down. "You want me to help you find your brother."

"Yes."

"And you think Bill may have something to do with his disappearance."

"Yes. No. Maybe? Or these drug dealers in Hotshot. Or maybe he just took a long walk and got lost. I don't know, Eric that's what I need your help with." Eric's ears perked up.

"Drug dealers in Hotshot?"

"Yeah I picked the sheriff's brain and I guess Jason had something to do with them and they're panthers or something. Honestly, I don't really know. I've been a little busy what with all your vampire bullshit." She was getting frustrated and she couldn't help but snap at him. She had half expected him to fly off immediately upon hearing of her need so he could locate Jason within minutes. You just never knew with Eric; either he was pledging to protect you and spurting off innuendos or he was locking you up and sucking you dry.

"Well?" She said impatiently.

"Sookie," He rose again and came to stand in front of her. She craned her neck to look up at him and he gazed at her steadily. "I will help you with this but it is no simple task if your brother has gotten involved with weres and drugs or vampires for that matter." He paused. "You said you have contacted the Were." When she nodded he continued. "I will also contact him and some other individuals. I will do my best to help find your brother but you must be patient."

"Thanks." She started backing toward the door feeling uncomfortable by his nearness and the familiarity to their stances. "So that's it then? No orders in return?" He leaned against his desk and leered at her.

"I'm sure I'll think of something you can do for me." His eyes trailed down her body and if she didn't know any better she'd think he had x-ray vision. "We'll just call it an IOU for now."

"Great." She fumbled for the doorknob without looking and felt relief when she found it. "Thanks." She turned to go but stilled at his words.

"Sookie?" He purred, "I'll be in touch." She felt a shiver start at the base of her spine but forced herself to leave without looking back.

When she got home, Bill was waiting for her. He made himself clearly visible so as not to scare her, and while she appreciated that gesture, the tumult of emotions she felt at the sight of him was very unwelcomed after the day she had experienced.

"Sookie."

"Bill." Her answer was flat and she shifted her weight uncomfortably. Bill took a step toward her, holding out his pale hand slightly.

"I have given you time to grieve for the mistakes that I made that are barbaric and inexcusable," he paused and Sookie wondered in irritation whether he was waiting for her to deny the depravity of his past actions.

"It has pained me deeply to be away from you and to know that I have caused you pain," he continued. "I know I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I ask only for some of your time so I can explain the situation in more detail. I need you to understand that I made those awful decisions before I truly knew you, but that now, and for quite some time, I love you deeply and honestly for who you are."

Sookie could feel her mind racing as emotions shot through her one after another. She was grateful when the one her body settled on was finally anger.

"You NEED me to understand? You need me?" She took a step closer to him and poked a finger into his chest. She wished fleetingly, and for the first time, that she were a vampire so she could tear him apart. "You know what I need, Bill? I need to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have to take the time to explain to me how lying to me every day and almost letting me get killed to appease his own agenda was a _mistake_. I need to not be involved with any of your supernatural crap anymore so I can attempt to have a normal life and not be miserable all the time and almost die every other weekend. What I _need_, Bill, is to go inside and go to bed because I have had the day from hell, yet again, and I just don't have the time to let you 'explain in more detail' how you broke my heart. Okay?"

Bill's face was hard as stone as he looked at her, but she could see the red welling in his eyes.

"But you must know," he persisted. "You must know how I feel. How I love you and would do anything in my power to protect you."

As a tear slipped down his cheek and stained a spot on his white shirt crimson, Sookie felt all of her energy leave her in a whoosh. She fiddled with the keys in her hand and shook her head.

"Your idea of love scares me," she said softly and turned to walk away.

"Sookie, wait!" The desperation in his voice bit into the night air and when his icy fingers gripped her elbow she jerked herself away.

"Don't you dare touch me!" She spat bitterly. "You better leave me alone, Bill Compton. I have no room in my life right now for your excuses or more of your lies so go fuck with someone else's life you dead bastard!"

When he made a move to grab her again she held up her hand in warning.

"Do you not remember that I have superhuman _fairy_ powers to zap things like you? Of course you do; that was what interested you in the first place wasn't it?" She walked up to her door and gave him one last look. "Don't make me use my blasty light thing on you. Because I'll do it, I swear."

"Sookie-"

"I'm sorry, but I can't forgive you for this, Bill. I just can't. Please go away."

She stood silently with her forehead resting against her porch door for a long moment before she ventured a look around. Her yard was empty.

Eric sat with his feet up on his desk studying some monthly figures as the bar raged behind the door. When there came a knock he sensed Pam and barked for her to enter. As the door swung open, one glance at Pam's face showed him that something interesting was about to happen. He straightened slightly in his chair as a woman stepped out from behind Pam. She had curly black hair and shockingly blue eyes and she wore next to nothing. Eric shifted.

"Hello," he murmured. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

The woman ran a hand through her hair and jutted out her hip. "I heard you were down a dancer." She licked her lips and leaned forward slightly. "I was wondering if I could audition."

Eric's eyes flicked over to meet Pam's amused ones. He blinked and Pam pouted but left. Eric turned his gaze back to the woman in front of him.

"Well," He grinned. "Show me what you have to offer."

Back at her house Sookie was on her hands and knees scrubbing her bathroom floor. Her movements were frantic and rough and sweat sprinkled her forehead and trickled down her neck. Her hair frayed out from behind the bandana she had fastened in an attempt to restrain the stands and she exhaled violently to clear her vision. Her phone rested on the edge of the sink and as she raised herself to double check the screen, the back of her skull came into contact with the porcelain in a sharp crack.

She cried out and dropped back down on her knees, reaching her hands to cradle her head. Tears sprung to her eyes as the throbbing pain spasmed through her body.

"Dammit!" She sobbed desperately. She grabbed at the phone and threw it across the room, crumpling into a ball on the floor as it shattered against the wall. "Dammit."

The air around Eric was humming. It had taken him a second longer than it should have for him to notice, but he had been preoccupied with the dancer, who was, as it turned out, very skilled. He tensed as he caught a whiff of an unsettling smell permeating the air. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, it smelt of cedar and incense and animal and blood, and he knew he should get up. He knew something was happening.

The woman was swaying seductively with her arms straight up and her head thrown back exposing her neck. Eric's fangs slid down. The scent was swirling around his body now and he felt himself begin to tingle. The rational part of his brain kicked in and he tried to stand, but found that his body would not move. He looked down at himself as he felt a fiery burning beginning at his feet and slowly spreading. His eyes rose to the dancer and when she looked down at him her eyes were white orbs. Eric felt a pang of horror. She smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

Sookie was pissed. It had been days since she had talked to Eric, days since he had promised he'd help her look for Jason, and yet she had received no word from the Viking. Alcide had only been able to inform her that he had no information as of yet and all of her frustration and fear channeled itself into rage at the vampire. She had tried calling the bar a few times but no one had ever picked up. Could it be possible that they had closed Fantasia again? The only reason that would be the case is if something had happened to Eric. Sookie felt a strange jolt at the idea of the vampire being in trouble, but she brushed it away. She much preferred being angry at Eric than dealing with any of the other unexpected and overwhelming feelings she experienced concerning him.

And so, although she had vowed to herself after everything that had happened with Russell and Eric and Bill that she was done with the undead forever, she found herself driving back to Shreveport to dive right back in again. Her car puttered on the bumpy roads and she patted the steering wheel encouragingly.

Finally, she pulled into the parking lot and blinked through her windshield at the darkness that was Fangtasia. The lack of flashing lights, music, and fangbangers practically screamed trouble, but Sookie reasoned with herself that if it wasn't this problem, she'd surely find another one, and anyway she had to help Jason.

When she went to the main entrance, the door was locked and no one responded when she knocked. She thrust her weight against it in a vain attempt to open it but the door didn't so much as creak under her attack.

Running her hand through her hair in frustration, Sookie resolved to go around back to the employee entrance to try her luck there. As she walked around the building she heard the faint noise of bottles clinking and she progressed to a light jog.

Ginger came into view, fumbling clumsily with some garbage bags.

"Hey Ginger." Ginger shrieked and dropped the bags releasing a loud crash of breaking bottles into the night air. Sookie rushed under the glow of a street light. "It's me, Sookie! Sorry I scared you."

"Oh, Sookie," Ginger chuckled and began collecting the trash bags, her thin arms straining with the weight. She grimaced as one of the bags oozed a dark liquid onto her foot. "Bar's not open tonight, hun. Sorry." She started walking to the dumpster, half dragging the bags. Sookie hurried after her and took one of the sacks from her.

"Here let me help." Together they dumped the contents into the void of the dumpster. Sookie stepped back and wiped her hands on the back of her jeans. Ginger grinned widely at her.

"Thanks!" She started to shuffle back toward the bar, her bracelets jangling.

"Ginger, wait," Sookie followed the woman back to the door. "Listen, I just need to talk to Eric tonight okay? It's important and you know he'd want to see me." Sookie looked away as she said this last bit. In fact, she didn't know if Eric would be that eager to see her, but she needed to see him so she hoped that Ginger would believe her.

Ginger scratched her noise smearing it with dirt unknowingly. "Well, alright," she assented. "Come on in. They're having a meeting in the office."

The two women walked inside together and while Ginger headed to the bathroom to wash up, Sookie inched her way toward Eric's office. As overwhelming as the bar had been when it was bursting with people, it was oddly eerie when it was empty. Her Keds made squeaking noises on the floor as she followed the light to the other room.

As she stepped closer to the office she saw Pam and Chow leaning over Eric in a chair, speaking intensely to him. They were so wrapped up in their conversation they didn't turn to acknowledge her presence. She hesitated then cleared her throat and knocked lightly on the open door. Pam and Chow whirled around hissing and baring their fangs. Sookie instinctively backed up and raised her hands in a gesture of peace.

"Hey guys," she offered meekly. "I see you're busy with a meeting and all and I hate to interrupt, but I just wanted to talk to Eric for a minute." Pam had relaxed but Chow's stance remained defensive.

"You should not be here," he growled. _'No I should not_,' Sookie silently agreed, but she looked over at Eric expectantly. Decked out in a black tank top and sweatpants, Eric looked simply miserable.

"Eric, is everything okay?"

"Hello, Sookie." His voice sounded fine if only a little depressed. Taking a closer inspection of him, Sookie realized he looked healthy too, in fact he was practically rosy. She blinked. There was something different though…the gleam that she associated with vampires had vanished. She tilted her head in confusion.

"Eric?" He looked at her for the first time and his blue eyes were dark and troubled. '_Does she know?' _The thought popped in her head and her hand slapped over her mouth automatically. Eric's eyes widened. Sookie backed up until she was resting against the door frame.

"What, what's…" she trailed off unable to look away from Eric. Chow tensed beside his master but when Eric slowly rose the other vampire backed off.

"Sookie." Eric's voice was soft and reassuring, the same voice he used with her in times of crisis when he wanted to calm her down. "Something has happened." He stood in front of her but seemed to be pondering what to say next.

Unable to stop herself, Sookie reached up and placed her hand on Eric's cheek. It felt warm and alive to her touch. With her mind whirling, she threw herself at him and pressed her head to his chest. There, without a doubt, against her ear banged the distinct and strong rhythm of a heartbeat.

"Okay, okay,okay." The party had moved out to the bar area and Sookie drew a pattern in the perspiration gathering on her second gin and tonic. She took a deep breath. "So a woman walked into your bar claiming she was a dancer but she wasn't-"

"Oh she was definitely a dancer. She moved…very well," Eric's voice was deadpan and Sookie marveled at his ability to joke at such a time.

"Well, so a woman walks into the bar claiming she's a dancer. She does her _thing_," she looked pointedly at Eric. "And then she, what, mambos you alive?"

"She was obviously a witch and cast a spell on Eric," Pam threw up her hands in exasperation and Sookie crinkled her nose.

"This sounds like a bad soap opera."

"This sounds," Pam corrected. "Like trouble for Area Five and all of us." The atmosphere of the small group turned much more somber as they all thought about what Eric's newfound humanity could mean.

"But why would someone want you to be human?" Sookie asked.

"Revenge, a plan for a takeover, the possibilities are endless. I'm infinitely more vulnerable in this…condition," he looked down at his body in evident disgust. "Attempts to attack would likely be more successful."

When no one said anything else Sookie clapped her hands together. "Okay," she said cheerily. "So, what do we do?"

"We find her and force her to reverse the spell," Eric's face was determined. "And we get her to tell us whose orders she was following."

"It will be easy to track her. She had a, distinctive smell." Pam sniffed as if to showcase what she meant and Sookie's mouth fell open.

"You're going to track her scent? Like a bloodhound?"

Pam smirked. "Don't you worry, Sookie we'll find the witch."

"Until then," Eric interjected thoughtfully, "I am in grave danger. This body is soft and weak and it has needs I haven't dealt with in over a thousand years."

Sookie was incredulous. "You can't forget how to be human, Eric. It's simple and obvious. And human bodies aren't soft and weak they're just not cold and dead."

The other vampires regarded her. "If anyone was planning to attack you, they'd first assume you were with me or Chow or another vampire to protect you," Pam said slowly. "And our houses are not safe because other vampires can enter them without permission. The safest place for you to be is somewhere that no one would anticipate and no vampire could enter and overpower you." She focused on Sookie and Sookie shifted, feeling uncomfortable and certain she was getting in over her head.

"Look," she began. "I don't know what ya'll are thinking but I'm definitely not equipped to take care of Eric ever, especially if vampires and witches and God knows what else are after him!"

Eric looked stung. "I do not need you to take care of me. I simply need a place to stay where I would not immediately be associated and where vampires cannot enter. Also it would _help_," he stressed the word "if I had someone around who was able to assist me in my human needs."

"You need food and air and water, and to use the bathroom I guess and shower and shave, I mean dang-it," Sookie stamped her foot. "You were a human once, Eric Northman."

Eric nodded and absently stroked the pulse on his neck. He looked so forlorn that Sookie felt her resolve breaking. "I seem to remember that you requested help locating your incompetent sibling," he offered. "It seems if that is still an arrangement that you are interested in, I have figured out a way you can repay me."

"Oh for Pete's sake," she exclaimed. "You can stay with me until Pam figures out a better location." Eric's eyes shone brightly at her. "Under the condition that you behave and don't cause me trouble or try any funny business." She considered everything for a moment. "And you still have to help me find Jason."

"I agree to aid in the search for your brother. And I will do my best to keep you from harm. And, I can promise you, Sookie, that nothing I 'try' with you will be in the least bit funny."

Sookie rolled her eyes and downed her drink. She had just agreed to babysit a human turned vampire turned human. She had the all too familiar feeling of her life spinning out of her control and she sighed with resignation and stood.

"Well come on, Eric. Let's go home."


	5. Chapter 5

The drive home to Bon Temps was quiet at first. Sookie's mind was reeling from her new living arrangement and Eric seemed to be taking stock of what it meant to be human again. In the darkness of the car, Sookie could hear him shifting around to put his hand on his heart, feel his teeth, and take deep breaths.

"It's strikingly dark outside."

"Yeah, well it is nighttime, Eric," she reminded him.

"Yes, but usually it does not look so...ominous to me."

She shifted her hands on the steering wheel and glanced over at him. "Are you afraid?"

"No!" His voice was sharp. "I am just not accustomed to these human handicaps anymore."

"Okay well in that case I just want to remind you that humans can't fly so don't forget that and try to jump off a building or something."

"I thank you for your concern," he said dryly.

* * *

They arrived at her house and walked up the porch steps. Sookie unlocked the door and walked in, switching on the light as she went. As she went through the processes of putting her keys away, kicking off her shoes, and checking her phone for any messages, she continued to talk to Eric.

"I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty tired after all this excitement so if you want we can just head to bed. Or, I mean, you can stay up if you want. What do you-" She looked up and blinked. "Eric?" She peered around the door to see him still standing on the porch, looking into the darkened forest around her house. "Eric?" She said again. He turned around.

"You rescinded my invitation, remember?" Sookie felt a wave of empathy wash over her.

"Eric," she stepped onto the porch and put her hand on his arm. "You're human now. You don't need an invitation."

Eric's expression was unreadable. After a moment he walked into the house with no problem. He stood silent and still in her kitchen with his back to her for a minute. Slowly he turned around.

"Well, that's certainly a convenience." There was a smile on his face, but it looked a little strained. Sookie regarded him uncertainly. His face had a healthy glow to it she wasn't used to seeing and he was beginning to get some stubble on his chin.

"You look different as a human," she said slowly. He lowered his gaze and then looked back at her and his eyes were such a bright blue that she had trouble looking away.

"Well, anyway," she stammered. "I was just wondering if you were tired or if you wanted to stay up or something."

"No, sleep seems appropriate. I am finding that my human body feels very..."

"Exhausted?" Sookie supplied.

"Yes," Eric smiled at her mischievously. "Now where do you want me, Sookie?" He took a step toward her and Sookie swallowed thickly. It suddenly occurred to her that she was in the house with a man who, on numerous occasions, had made it clear he wanted to sleep with her. A man, if she were honest with herself, whom she had fantasized about sleeping with many times.

She spun on her heel and began walking through the house. After a moment, she could sense him following her.

"Where are you taking me, Sookie?"

She stopped outside her spare room and gestured inside. "Here you go, Eric. You can sleep in here. The bathroom's right down there." She pointed then marched over to the closet. She shoved a few extra blankets into Eric's arms. He stared at her with a passive expression on his face, but she caught a flicker of uncertainty so unheard of for Eric that she lost some of her self-righteous steam. She took a breath.

"Are you okay?"

He looked down at the blankets in his hands. "I'm fine."

"I mean, you must feel, I don't know, so overwhelmed with all this. Do you want to talk about it or something?"

"It has happened. Pam will track down the witch and we will settle this and everything will go back to normal. Until then I simply have to keep myself safe."

"But how do you _feel_, Eric?"

He tilted his head. "Feelings do not matter in this. It is what it is. I would prefer it was not so, but it is and I must deal with it." He smiled at her. "Although if you wish to be a gracious hostess you could keep me company tonight so I don't get lonely."

She snorted and rested her back against the wall. "I cannot believe I agreed to have you here in my house."

Eric's brow furrowed. "Why? We're friends."

"We are not friends! Eric, the only time I spend with you revolves around vampires and werewolves and me almost dying."

"Well that's not my fault, Sookie and anyway we have fun."

"Fun? Every time I let myself get wrapped up with your crap I wind up getting hurt."

"You work for me sometimes and-"

"You use me and never give any thought to what might happen to me."

"That is not true, Sookie. I have done my best to protect you. Sometimes in my world it is difficult to-"

"It's not your world anymore, Eric." She heard the smugness in her voice and although she knew she was being unfair she couldn't help but feel put out and angry even if she silently acknowledged that some of the rage she was directing at him might be misplaced. "You're a lowly human now."

He regarded her seriously. "I hardly think a few days under a spell qualify me as a human after over a thousand years as vampire."

"It must be hard since you despise humans so much."

"I do not hate humans, Sookie. I am bored by most of them, yes. But some of them," he gave her body an appreciative look. "Some of them I like very much."

Although she tried to steel her nerves, an irrepressible thrill shot through her body. She ran a hand over her tired face. "Maybe we're in over our heads here, Eric."

"Don't worry. No one will think to look here for me. You will not be hurt." She had been concerned about a different kind of danger, one that involved her will-power and an attractive and currently warm-blooded man under her roof. She had temporarily forgotten about the danger of death. Her feelings of lust were quickly overtaken by those of fear and apprehension.

"Maybe we should get more help. Bill could watch the house or something."

Eric gave her a look. "Since Mr. Compton attempted to end me when I was vampire, you'll forgive me if I don't trust him with my much more fragile human life."

"I...I'm sorry, Eric. I still don't understand why he did that." Once again the intensity of his stare made her look away.

"I have a few theories," he murmured.

"Couldn't you just have Pam turn you again?"

"I could, but then I would have a new master and I would lose all the power and abilities I have earned over the last thousand years. It would not work to my advantage. Besides, I am uncertain what would happen if my progeny turned me and I then became her progeny. It's a bit too incestuous."

"Okay, well," Sookie was fresh out of ideas and she clasped her hands together. "I guess it's off to bed then. Like I said: bathroom," she motioned again. "And if you need anything I'll be right here."

She gave him a final once-over to make sure he had everything he might require during the night. As he stood there with flushed cheeks, mused hair, and a stack of her grandmother's homemade quilts she couldn't help by snicker.

"Boy, Eric you would have been the last person in the world I would ever think I'd be roommates with."

"Why?" He smiled a little at the mirth in her voice.

"Because I've hated you from the moment I first laid eyes on you." She regretted it as soon as she said it, simply because it sounded so harsh, but it was the truth.

Eric's face betrayed no emotion as he digested this information. "Well," he offered. "I have always liked you."

"Eric..." Sookie trailed off when she realized she didn't know what to say.

He silently walked into his room then turned back to face her. He peered at her from behind the mountain of blankets in his hands. "Perhaps you should take the time to get to know someone before you decide to hate him. Goodnight, Sookie." He shut the door quietly behind him.

* * *

It was the click of the door that woke her up. It sounded like the noise of someone trying not to make a noise. She rolled onto her back and listened for a long moment. Nothing. Could someone have broken in to try to hurt Eric? She slid out from under her covers and slunk over to her door. She opened it a crack and looked out. The house was still. Weighing her options uncertainly, she grabbed a flashlight and stepped into the hallway.

As quietly as possible, she tiptoed to Eric's room and swung the door open. His bed was empty but the rumple of the sheets indicated it had been used.

"Eric?" She called out in an exaggerated whisper. "Eric!"

When he didn't answer, she headed to the door she had heard open. Taking a breath, she opened it and stepped outside. The sky had that pre-sunrise haze that paints it as the first rays brush against its canvas. She squinted into her still darkened backyard until she spotted him a few yards away with his back to her.

"Eric!" She hissed. No reaction, of course. She sighed and shuffled toward him. The dew on the grass chilled her bare feet. When she reached his side she realized he was shoeless as well. She shivered dramatically.

"Eric. What are you doing? I'm supposed to be protecting you here and how am I going to do that if you're wandering outside at all hours of the night? You're in danger here, and so am I by extension, so you need to be more careful! You may not remember this but vampires and other nasty creatures can harm you outside."

She realized he hadn't heard a word she'd said. He was simply standing with his head tilted to the sky and his eyes fixed on some invisible point.

"What are you looking at anyway?"

"The sun." As if it had heard him, the glowing orb began its slow ascent into view, banishing the darkness from the sky for another day. Eric's arms slowly raised and it looked like he was absorbing every fraction of light he possibly could. The sky shifted into pink and orange and blue and Eric never blinked. They stood that way in silence for a long time. Finally, Eric forced his eyes away from the first sunrise he had seen in one thousand years to look at her in wonder.

"It's the sun, Sookie."

"I know," she said quietly and he turned back to his phenomenon. As the air began to warm up, he closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling. Sookie wrapped her arms around herself and watched him.

They stayed outside until the sun had completely risen and the night fully transformed into day, complete with chirping birds and a lit backyard. When Eric spoke, after hardly moving for so long Sookie had questioned his humanity, his voice was husky.

"I know it must seem odd to you that I reacted this way having just seen the sun a few weeks ago with Russell, but this is different. It's just so,"

"It doesn't seem odd," Sookie interrupted gently. "Not at all." She was tempted to touch him, to reassure herself that this tender moment really involved Eric Northman. She lifted her hand behind him to rest on his back. It wavered there uncertainly for a moment then she dropped it without contact and they stood side by side in the morning light.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks for the reviews guys! It makes me feel really great to come home from a long day and see that some people are enjoying my fluff! - R_

_

* * *

_

"What do you mean lay down?"

Sookie looked at Eric in clear exasperation. "These aren't difficult instructions, Eric. Lay on the stupid blanket."

He sighed and settled on his back on the blanket. Sookie smiled in satisfaction and plopped next to him. The park was quiet at this time of day and the grass cushioned her back under the afghan.

"What is the purpose of this?" Sookie sighed and braced herself on one elbow to look down at his tense form.

"It's relaxing and fun to just be out her in the sun. Plus, we can get tans. Here just," she wiggled his stiff arm. "Relax your muscles! This is supposed to be enjoyable. You look like you're being tortured."

Eric rearranged himself experimentally. When the sun came out from behind a cloud, Sookie could see his body finally settle.

"See?" She laid back and closed her eyes. They were still and silent for a while. A dog barked somewhere in the distance and Sookie's eyes fluttered. She looked up at the sky and smiled.

"Eric," she nudged him with his elbow. "Doesn't that cloud look like a unicorn?"

He cracked an eye open. "It looks like people having sex."

"What?" Sookie screeched. "It does not! Look at that part right there." She pointed and Eric nodded.

"That's his head."

"And that point there?"

"That's her leg." Sookie tilted her head and blushed.

"Alright. What about that one?" He followed her finger and smiled lazily at her.

"A nice pair of breasts." When she pointed again he squinted then folded his arms behind his head casually.

"That one right there?" She nodded in anticipation. "That's a bunny."

She looked at him in stunned silence for a minute. "A bunny," she repeated.

"Mmhm. See? It's got a big, fluffy tail and floppy ears."

She stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing. "Just when I think I have you figured out. At least you didn't look for a dirty image in that one."

"I'm not looking for the images," he protested. "You're just avoiding them. I'm beginning to fear, my Sookie, that you might be a bit of a prude."

"I think you're mistaken, dear Eric," she mocked him. "Because actually it's just that you're a slut."

He grinned and rolled onto his side to face her. "I haven't had sex as a human in a millennium you know," he said suggestively.

She closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into the blanket as the sun beat down on them. "Mmm," she murmured. "You're probably really rusty."

He barked a laugh. "You could help me practice…" He trailed his fingers along her bare arm and she forced herself not to react.

"Just a reminder, Eric, those very human fingers are very, very breakable."

He flopped onto his back with a sigh, "prude." She could hear the mirth in his voice.

"Slut." They were silent for a second then she said, "Well it's good to see you haven't turned too human."

"What do you mean?" Eric turned his head to look at her.

"Well, I don't know, I thought that maybe being alive again you might, you know, get all those intense human emotions and stuff back. But you're still you."

Eric pondered this for a moment.

"It's not as if we lose all our humanity at the exact point of becoming a vampire." He was looking at the sky again. "We evolve that way over time because we have to. When I was turned, Sookie, humans did not know about vampires. I had to skulk in the shadows for a thousand years. I had to abandon my village, my family, my friends, my children."

Sookie glanced sharply over at him but his eyes were unfocused.

"You never get to say goodbye when you're turned. You really do die even though you're still walking around. The pain of that, of losing everything that you once knew and loved, and of being shunned and hunted by society…if I didn't separate myself from my emotions, I would have gone crazy."

"And besides," he continued. "After a thousand years the whole 'human experience' becomes kind of boring."

"Doesn't it get lonely, though?"

"Yes." Sookie was surprised by his blunt answer.

"I just couldn't imagine, like with Jason," she hesitated. "With Jason missing, I just, my insides are all jumpy. I can't imagine a life without him." Her eyes stung and she blinked them rapidly to chase away the tears threatening to fall.

"He seems more trouble than he's worth." _'Well, there's that bluntness again.' _

"No," she said firmly. "No, Eric. He's my brother and he's a good person and he's looked out for me a lot over the years. We're all we have left."

"He got mixed up with a murderer, taking V, and with supernatural creatures who sell drugs," Eric smiled wryly at her. "It seems to me, you are the one constantly looking out for him."

"No, you don't know him. He has the best heart. You _promised_ me you would help me find him."

"And I will," his voice was solemn. "I will make some phone calls when we get back to your house to see what I can find out."

Sookie watched as Eric studied a ladybug that had landed on the back of his hand.

"Do you think they'll know about, you know?"

"About your brother's good heart?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No, I mean about you being human."

"No," his gaze followed the bug as it flew away in a blur of orange. "Pam and Chow are trustworthy and I still sound the same, don't I?"

She considered this. "I guess. I think maybe your voice just sounds a little…less hard."

He leered at her, but before he could say anything she interrupted, "yeah yeah I know some hilarious innuendo about your penis."

Eric looked stunned then laughed. "Maybe you're not such a prude after all." He flipped onto his stomach and laid his head on his arms. Sookie concluded that he looked very good in the sunlight.

"It's nice out here in the sun like this isn't it," she asked dreamily.

"Yes," his face was serious and although she had a strict moral code against it, Sookie reached out with her mind to see what his thoughts were. It secretly thrilled her that she was finally able to see the inner workings of this man who had been such an enigma to her.

He was remembering Godric; how he had met the sun. His thoughts were tinged with worry as he contemplated his visions of his maker.

Unable to help herself, Sookie said, "I still talk to my Gran."

Eric lifted his head and gave her a puzzled look.

"I mean, I wouldn't worry too much about seeing Godric. Grief does strange things to us. And I have this feeling that you haven't let yourself really experience your loss in the way you should. I just thought you should know that I still talk to my grandmother too."

Eric's face darkened but he said nothing. Realizing that he probably felt violated, Sookie took one last peek inside his head to see how angry he was. He was picturing the two of them back at her house, in her bed…

"Eric!" Sookie sat up and slapped at him, her face burning. Eric chuckled and ducked his forehead against his arm.

"Anytime you want to look in my mind, Sookie, just let me know. I have plenty of interesting things for you to see."

"You're a pig," she spat out, her cheeks still enflamed.

"Well, those were my private thoughts."

"Yeah, yeah," she gave him one last dirty look. "I'll stay out from now on."

The silence that stretched between them was interrupted by Eric's stomach growling. He looked down at himself in surprise.

"I'm hungry." The look he gave her was so intense she could have sworn the ends of her hair singed.

"You're hungry for human food, remember," she warned. "Not for me."

He nodded in agreement. "You're right this is an entirely different hunger than the one I have for you."

Sookie smiled weakly.

* * *

"Wild boar and mead?" Sookie repeated slowly. "That was your favorite meal?"

"Yes," his eyes scanned the road and she thought he might jump out of his skin with excitement.

She steered the car around a large pothole and said thoughtfully, "I mean, I guess I could go to the grocery store and pick up a ham or something to make you."

"There!" Eric's yell nearly made her swerve the car into oncoming traffic. "There," he said again more calmly, his finger jabbing at the window. Sookie looked where he was pointed.

"There?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes," Eric's voice was insistent.

"Eric, listen, you're not going to like that place. There are plenty of better-"

"This restaurant was not invented when I was turned. I have spent years watching people eat there and they all have seemed to love it. I want to experience the delicious food that they all rave about."

Sookie sighed and put her blinker on. "As you wish."

* * *

The crowd at Burger King mostly consisted of children under the age of six with their parents or elderly couples. Sookie heaved a silent sigh.

"How's your burger?" She didn't even try to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"This. Is. Delicious." Eric's mouth was stuffed with equal parts burger, French fry, and onion ring. "Sookie, you must have some of this." He shoved some fries across the table at her. "I cannot believe you were skeptical. Have you eaten here before?"

Sookie crinkled her nose. "I don't think I have ever seen you so excited about anything."

He slurped some soda and reached to open his third burger. Her eyes widened.

"You better be careful or you're going to get fat," she warned him.

He froze with a chicken nugget half way to his mouth. He put the hunk of meat down and regarded her with something that looked like pity.

"Sookie, I was the son of a king. Do you know what that means?"

Sookie stared in fascination at a glob of ketchup that stained the corner of his mouth. Was this really the same vampire who had brutally buried Russell in cement a few weeks ago?

"It means," Eric continued, seemingly undeterred by her silence. "That I ate like royalty every night. I was not subjected to porridge or bread as meals. We always had more than necessary and I never had a problem staying fit. You modern humans are just too busy watching the television to be active." He looked at her. "I was to be _king_," he stressed again as if she could not grasp the concept.

"Well in that case," Sookie's voice was cracking with exaggerated awe. "Here you go Your Highness ." She got up and snatched a cardboard crown sitting on the back counter and placed it on his head.

Eric remained silent and Sookie smirked as two young boys ran past them wearing the same symbol of royalty. She waited patiently for Eric to rip the crown off and get angry.

"Well," he began quiet seriously. "I thank you my lady." He gave her an exaggerated bow and she laughed in surprise and delight.

"You are the lord of fast food!"

He grinned at her and took another big bite of his burger.

"I am THE burger king."

* * *

Sookie suggested a walk after they got back to her house, mainly because Eric looked a little green after consuming so much greasy food and she thought the fresh air would do him good.

"So what's the best thing about being a human in 2010 then?"

Eric bent to pick a flower as he considered his answer. "Well the food has obviously seen some advancements."

"Indeed," Sookie deadpanned. "After a five star meal like that how could you not add food to your list?"

"But," he continued, ignoring her sarcasm. "At this moment I would have to say indoor plumbing."

"Oh," Sookie said. "_Oh_," she repeated as she thought of the consequences of using a bush as a toilet. "You had to go outside?"

"Yes. At night and in the winter we also kept a pot inside for-"

'_Oh, guck.'_ Sookie grimaced.

"You went to the bathroom inside? And let it sit there with you all night?"

Eric was amused. "Yes if it was cold and dark. Just think Sookie: how would you have liked stumbling outside and letting the chilly February air stroke your bare skin?"

He tickled her sides playfully and she swatted his hands and sprinted away from him. He caught up to her easily and grabbed her hand to slow her down. Their fingers tangled clumsily for a moment before they dropped to their respective owners.

"I cannot even imagine," she said seriously.

"I know, but it was not so bad when you knew nothing different."

"But now…" she trailed off.

"Now," he leaned his face close to hers and whispered. "I am in love with your toilet."

Sookie snickered, "I bet."

They had reached her house again and their steps automatically slowed as they approached the porch.

"So, now what?"

"Now," Eric told her. "I begin the process of finding your brother."

Sookie began to follow him up the steps but he turned back and stopped her by placing both hands on her shoulders.

"You stay out here," he said softly.

"What? No, Eric I want to help-"

"And you will. But pacing around me like a fly in my vision will not expedite the process. You can help by staying out here and working on your tan. I will let you know what I find out. Here."

He thrust a bundle of flowers she had not noticed him picking into her hands. "Now go."

He was inside the house with the door shut behind him before she could protest. She walked haphazardly to her backyard and sat in the grass. She hoped Eric had some good connections.

Absently she smelled the flowers and looked toward the house where she could see Eric's shadowed figure moving in the windows. Today had been a weird day, she mused, weird but oddly enjoyable. She thought of the way his long fingers had twined with hers, just for a moment. She had never considered that she could have fun with the Viking, but that's just what today had been, she suddenly realized: fun. She and Eric Northman had spent a day together having a good time and learning about each other.

She slid so her back was on the ground and looked up at the shapes of the clouds. "A penis," she said to no one and then laughed so hard tears came to her eyes and she rolled onto her side. She had the urge to run inside and tell Eric about the cloud she had seen. She was certain he would appreciate the immaturity of the situation as much as she had.

Sookie stopped laughing and wiped her eyes. '_Could it be possible?'_ Yes, it seemed that she and the Sheriff of Area Five were becoming friends.


	7. Chapter 7

When Eric came outside Sookie was still on her back in the grass. As he stood over her, he looked even more of a giant than usual from her vantage point.

Without bothering to rise she asked him, "so what did you find out?"

"Well," Eric sat beside her so when she propped herself on her elbows they were face to face. "I managed to track down someone who knows the town and the people who lived there."

Sookie wondered fleetingly how many people he had called in order to track this one person down. "And?"

"And we are meeting with him tomorrow afternoon near Hotshot."

"In the daytime?"

"Yes, he does not know who I am and this way we will be assured that no other vampires will see us."

"We have to go to Hotshot?"

"Yes," Eric's voice was patient. "The places we are going are not ones I would be immediately associated with since the witch, if she is after me, does not know of my relationship with you and she will probably look around Shreveport and Pam before expanding her search. However, it is paramount that we maintain as low profile as possible so no one finds out."

"Do you think the witch is after you? Do you think this guy will be able to tell you're human?" Sookie wrung her hands together in sudden, overwhelming anxiousness. "Do you think someone saw us today?"

His large hand wrapped around both of hers. "I do not know if the witch searches for me. I have pondered this question but I cannot decide if this curse is a punishment in and of itself or if she did it so she or someone else could harm me. Due to our arranged meeting time, it will be obvious I am not a vampire and I believe this man will be able to tell I am human because he is a werepanther and he will most likely pick up on my human scent. However, as I said, I have never met him before and he does not know who I am; this meeting was arranged through contacts. Exposing myself to him will likely have little backlash. As for today, no vampires were awake, obviously, and I was always aware of my surroundings. I have little concern about this."

His thumb rubbed the back of her hand in small circles. "Do not worry so, Sookie. We have not endangered ourselves yet."

"It's just you're risking your life for me," she gulped in some air. "Again."

Eric smiled at her and their close proximity allowed her to see the light catch on the green sparks in his blue eyes.

"Such concern? For a vampire?"

Sookie smiled reluctantly at his exaggerated incredulousness. "You're not a vampire. You're a human."

"For a few days," he reminded her, standing and pulling her to her feet in the process. "I have a new stipulation to our deal: you let me worry about our safety and you just concern yourself with procuring us food."

Sookie laughed and bumped him with her shoulder as they began walking toward the house. "You are definitely going to get fat. You better be careful you know, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Eric nudged her back, just enough so she swayed and felt like a worthy opponent. "You should have warned me a long time ago."

* * *

"This is absolutely amazing." Sookie's eyes danced as she watched Eric over the rim of her cup. "I mean it, Sookie, you are a great cook."

"Better than Burger King?" She teased.

He narrowed his eyes in consideration and she threw a chunk of bread at him. He laughed and popped it into his mouth. "Much, much better."

"Now _that_ is a compliment." She watched as he ate, savoring each bite, closing his eyes in delight as the spices enveloped his tongue.

"This is," he motioned to a piece of chicken. "So…it melts in my mouth it's so tender."

Sookie smiled warmly at him. "It's my Gran's recipe, I can't take credit."

"She died." It was a statement but Sookie nodded anyway.

"Yes, Rene killed her because…because of me. Because of my association with vampires."

"It was not your fault," Eric said sharply. "Bill should have anticipated such an attack and protected you and your family."

"You're so quick to absolve me, but Bill gets thrown under the bus right way, huh?"

"It was the madman's fault," he conceded. "But Bill still should have known better."

Sookie traced a flower in the gravy on her plate. "Well, we can't all be as perfect as you, Eric."

"I know. In fact I've never met anyone who…measures up," he licked his lips seductively and she rolled her eyes and silently handed him a piece of pie. He took a bite and groaned in appreciation.

"Another of your grandmother's recipes?" She nodded. "I wish I could have met the women."

Sookie grinned at this thought. "Now that would have been fun to see. I wonder how that would have gone."

"I would have charmed her," he said simply. She studied him for a moment. He wore a simple ensemble of jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops, His blond hair hung slightly in his eyes and he had a small knick on his cheek from shaving. He met her gaze and the smile that graced his face was completely chaste and affectionate.

"You know what," she said slowly. "I think you're right."

He sat back in his chair and rubbed his still-flat stomach in a satisfied motion. "What was she like?"

Sookie rested her chin on her hand as she thought of how to answer. "Oh, she was amazing. She was all honey and sugar, unless you crossed her! Then she had quite the temper. She wouldn't let Jason or me get away with anything, she raised us after our parents died, but it wasn't ever mean-spirited, you know? Even when she was lecturing you for what seemed like hours, you didn't mind because you knew it was coming from a place of love. She was funny too and really forward thinking. And, and kind. Very kind." She was lost for a moment. "You would have liked her."

Sookie had his full attention. "I'm sure I would have. I regret never meeting her."

"I was real torn up when she died. It was right here." Sookie looked around them. "Everyone else gave up on me when I was little, even my parents, but Gran, she really believed in me and she didn't think I had to change. I've never had that kind of acceptance from anyone and I don't think I ever will." They were both silent for a moment. "She didn't deserve to die the way she did. Sometimes," she stopped and looked at him hard. She had never told anyone this, not even Bill. Eric blinked back at her. "Sometimes, I'm glad I killed Rene. I'm glad I killed the man that hurt her so much." She put a hand over her mouth and shut her eyes, the truth of her words making her ashamed.

Eric watched her internal struggle. "The need for revenge is very human, Sookie. The ones we love, we have evolved the need to protect them. Humans are pack animals and they must stick together. What you did is not wrong. It may not sit well with your Christian ideals, but it adheres to the needs in your blood." Their eyes met. "Russell had my family killed. All of them died while I should have been there to protect them." He looked down. "Sometimes revenge is all we have to right our own wrongs."

Sookie absorbed Eric's words. She saw the still painful images of his family lying broken and bloodied at the hands of Russell and she guiltily took a mental step back from the Viking.

They sat in silence for a while, each swimming in their own ocean of pain and regret. Finally Eric said, "It seems we have more in common than we once imagined."

Sookie's smile was bittersweet. "It's too bad for us." One corner of his mouth rose and she regarded him seriously. "I wish you would have told me this before. I would have understood why you were acting the way you were, why you were so intent on hurting Russell."

Eric shook his head slowly. "It was safer for you not to know."

"That is so high-handed, Eric! As if you know what's best for me?"

"In this case I do." She jumped up from her chair and angrily began clearing off the table. "Sookie, I do not wish to insult or demean you, I hope you realize," the softness of his voice caused her movements to become less forceful. "You must keep in mind, however, that in manners of the supernatural world you know less and you are vulnerable."

When she glared at him, he laughed softly. "Sookie, why are you so anxious to be a part of that world? It is fine to flirt around the edges, to date certain vampires and come to Fangtasia, but if you were to plunge in headfirst as you seem so intent to, you would find that it is very difficult to stay afloat." He paused and she considered what he was saying. "The supernatural world is deeper and darker than you could ever dream and you are a bright light that it would love to dim." He shook his head again and his tone was wistful when he said, "My only goal is to keep you safe. I know you think that I use you for my own gain, and while that may be true to an extent, I can promise you that your safety is always on my mind."

Sookie struggled to gather herself after his speech. She walked over to the sink and kept her back turned to him.

"You know," she said quietly. "Bill sang me a similar tune over and over. He was protecting me by lying to me, he knew what was best and I was like an ignorant child. I bet if I asked him now he would say the same thing," She turned to face him and leaned her back against the counter. "Lying to me is not protecting me, Eric. It makes me more vulnerable because I'm walking around clueless to the danger I should be prepared for. I've trusted you in the past and defended you and," she met his eyes. "You're just like him."

"No." Eric was incensed. "I am nothing like Bill Compton. I keep certain details from you because if you knew you would be in danger, either of someone else coming after you or of your own behaviors, which I recognize are well-intentioned but in reality are often foolish." Sookie bristled but he continued. "I know you hurt. Bill lied to you about who he was and why he was interested in you. He looked you in the eye and told you fabricated truths that made you trust him and vulnerable. He did this because he wanted to subjugate you and use you. I have never, nor will I ever, lie to you in such a way. There is a big difference which you must recognize."

Sookie composure was slowly melting away. She could feel Eric's eyes on her and she kept her own cast down in an attempt to control her bubbling emotions.

"He really um," she let out a breathy laugh. "He really fooled me." A tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped at it, hoping Eric hadn't seen.

"I know," he stood and walked over to her. "But I believe he too began to believe his lies eventually. I imagine that after he got to know you, he wished that they were the truth. There is no forgiving what he did to you or the lies your relationship was built on, but take comfort in knowing that the feelings were truly there. He did love you."

Sookie laughed again, but it sounded more like a sob. She let Eric pull her into him and cradle her against his chest. He felt warm and reassuring and her fingers pulled at his shirt in a vain attempt to bring him closer. His hands made soft circles on her back and she could feel his head resting on hers.

Her tears began to subside and she snuggled against him, breathing in his scent. It comforted her in a way that was unexpected yet familiar and she sighed. His own chest rose and fell as he expelled a breath and without lifting her head, she said into his body, "you feel so warm." She cringed at the way it sounded but he tightened his arms around her in response.

"So do you."

They stood in her kitchen, wrapped around each other for a few minutes. Sookie knew she should let go, but found she could not. Finally, she drew herself back so she could look up at him. Her hands rested on his sides and his remained on the small of her back.

"I lied to you," she admitted. "When I told you I hated you from the first moment I saw you," she swallowed hard. "I didn't. I wanted to hate you. Bill told me these things about you that were terrible but I could just never…when you looked at me I just couldn't see what he saw. I don't hate you."

Eric's face was deathly serious as he regarded her. "I lied to you once too," he said and her eyes widened in surprise. "When I told you," he faltered and his eyes roamed her kitchen before finally settling back on hers. "At Russell's when I said you meant nothing to me." He smile looked sad. "I lied."

The silence around them this time felt charged with something new. Sookie ran one of her hands up his body to stroke his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch and her fingertips traced the arc of his brow and over his eyelids. She hesitated, then put her fingers on his lips, caressing them. They parted as he let out a shuttering breath and she was surprised by how soft they were. Her mind drifted back to the kiss in his office and she felt something shift inside of her. She watched her hand trail down until it rested above his heart. She could feel the organ thundering against her palm and when she looked up his blue eyes were incandescent.

"I like this," she murmured pressing her hand closer. "I like being able to know I affect you as much as you affect me." His nostrils flared and she could feel his hands incessantly tugging her closer.

A knock on the door broke the spell for both of them. Eric's head shot toward the sound and Sookie blinked. Neither of them made a move, but when a second knock persisted, she detangled herself from his embrace and scuttled toward the door.

"Pam," she said in surprise at their visitor. Eric strolled up behind her, his face showing no evidence of what had occurred in the kitchen.

Sookie invited her in and went to heat up a Trueblood, giving herself a hard mental shake to clear her mind. '_What had just almost happened? What had happened?'_ Her microwave beeped and she retrieved the bottle and walked back to the living room, trying to make her face as impassive as Eric's.

* * *

Pam accepted the blood without a glance at the human and continued the conversation with her maker.

"And so," she was saying and Sookie found that she had trouble paying attention. "He said that he will meet with me about the whereabouts only after he talks to you." She took a swig of her blood, grimaced, and shot the bottle a dirty look. "Bastard," she added and Sookie wasn't sure if she was talking about the man or the Trueblood.

"Of course," Eric's said and Pam sat back.

"Eric," her voice was incredulous. "You stink!"

He looked down at himself in surprise, but when he found nothing out of the ordinary he looked back at her. "Like what," he asked.

"Like human food and," she gave a sniff. "Garlic! Ugh. What have you been doing?"

"Eating," he sounded mildly defensive. "I have to eat human food now, Pam, you must know this."

A slow smile spread across the vampire's face. "I guess I knew on some level but I never gave it any significant thought, and I certainly never imaged that you would go at it with such," she eyed him in amusement, "gusto."

"Yes, well," Eric said sharply. "I wouldn't have to if you were doing your job and finding the witch." He stalked out of the room and Sookie could hear him dialing a number on his phone.

"So," Pam said, obviously unaffected by Eric's agitation. "How's it going, Sookie?"

"Fine." Sookie was surprised to find herself feeling a little miffed at Pam for making fun of Eric. "How's the search?"

Pam nodded. "I am making significant strides. After Eric makes this call I will have a meeting with someone who believes he knows where to find the witch. Eric shouldn't be on your hands too much longer."

After a pause, Sookie said stiffly, "Good. I'm getting tired of this bullshit."

"Mmm, you seemed tired of it that night in Eric's office," Pam intoned and if it weren't for the mirth dancing in her eyes Sookie would never have guessed that she was teasing her.

"Yeah," Sookie's eyes narrowed. "Tell me how it is again that you didn't hear this witch casting a spell on Eric since you _obviously_ listen to his personal business outside the door?"

"Oh Sookie, I only eavesdrop when I'm jealous of the morsel Eric is entertaining and I want a piece of the action. Even though I am well aware that Eric would never share you with anyone, I just couldn't help myself. It sounded fun until I had to interrupt."

Sookie's flush started at the back of her neck and crept up her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She couldn't think of one thing to say that wouldn't cause her further embarrassment and she felt relieved when Eric came back into the room.

"He agreed to a meeting, but he insisted he could not meet for a few days," he practically growled. "And he refuses to give information over the phone."

"Should I go persuade him to push up the engagement?" Pam's fangs glistened at the very thought.

"No. He is not someone we would do well to make an enemy of. We will just have to wait. But Pam, when you get this information I expect you to use it quickly."

"Of course," Pam flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled at them. "Well I suppose I'll let you two get back to playing house. I'll be in touch." She nodded to Eric and blew a kiss at Sookie and glided out of the house.

* * *

Eric sank onto the couch and Sookie stayed rooted to her spot, fidgeting awkwardly and wondering if she should mention what had happened in the kitchen.

"That surprised me," Eric said and Sookie was glad he was the one to bring it up.

"Me too," She admitted and sat next to him.

"I did not think that he would balk at a meeting. Do you know what this means?" Sookie managed to recover from her shock and shake her head.

"I am going to be stuck like this for longer than I anticipated. I have to stay here as a _human_," the way he spat the word out sounded vile. "I'm going to have to do all of these human things and have these human needs and human impairments for who knows how long?"

Sookie plastered her familiar fake smile to her face. "Well," she said brightly. "At least you'll get the chance to eat more human food, right?"

"I just want things to be back as they were," Sookie had never heard Eric sound as close to a whine as he did in that moment.

"They will be," she patted his knee. "Pretty soon you'll be an all-powerful vampire again and you can go back to your house and both our lives will go back to the way they were." She stood and walked to the kitchen without looking back. "I'm going to do the dishes."

She felt a fleeting moment of pride that this time, she had managed to hold back her tears.


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Sookie glanced up from her book when she heard Eric's voice. She focused her eyes directly to the left of his head so she didn't have to look at him. "Nothing," she said. He raised one eyebrow.

"I do not have to be a mind reader to see that you're upset about something. You've been avoiding me all morning."

"Entertaining you wasn't part of our deal," she snapped.

"No, but this is not like you. If you tell me, perhaps I can help," his tone was playful and she seriously considered throwing her book at his head.

"You don't even know me. This is what I'm like." She went back to reading her book.

"What are you reading?" She sighed loudly and held the text up so he could see the title. He sat down next to her on the porch swing. "Is that one of those romance novels? Where the two people meet and fall in love and overcome insurmountable obstacles to be together?" The laughter was still in his voice.

"Yep."

"Is that what you want, Sookie? To live in a romance novel brought to life?" When she didn't answer he reached out his hand and tugged on her earlobe gently. "Hey," when she looked up he tilted his head. "Tell me what's wrong."

Sookie snapped her book shut. "Please don't do that, Eric."

"What?"

"Don't act like you care and be nice okay? This is a business deal. I do you a favor and in return you do me a favor. We don't have to pretend to enjoy it."

The screen door slammed shut behind her and Eric stretched his legs out in front of him and rocked slowly on the swing.

* * *

"Do you know where we're going?"

"Yes."

"You should slow down, you don't have vampire reflexes anymore; you're going to kill us."

"This _is_ slower."

"Are you sure you know where we're going?"

"I kind of know where we're going."

Sookie sighed and leaned back against her seat. They had driven past Hotshot and were searching for the small town in which they were supposed to meet the man with information.

"You should have let me drive."

"Then we never would have gotten there." She smacked his arm and he smirked at her. "Well, at least when you start hitting me I know you're getting back to your normal, charming self."

She couldn't help but smile a little. "Don't," she warned.

"Don't what?" Eric turned the car onto a dirt road that looked exactly to Sookie like the last ten dirt roads they had passed. "Don't try to make me laugh. Just let me be mad at you."

He glanced over at her. "It would help if I knew why you were mad at me."

"Does it matter?"

"It certainly seems to, yes."

Eric had slowed the car down to an almost normal pace and Sookie began to get nervous as she sensed they were getting close to their destination.

"How much is this guy supposed to know?"

"I am not sure," his eyes were scanning the area around them carefully. "But he has information about the last place in which Jason was seen and the people that lived there, so it will be a start."

As they rounded a corner, a man came into view. He stood in the middle of a clearing, smoking a cigarette. His hairline was receding badly and his grey cotton t-shirt stuck to him in the heat of the sun.

Eric parked the car and looked over at Sookie. "Are you ready?" She studied her hands folded tightly in her lap and nodded. "I can go talk to him alone if you prefer," he offered.

"No," she took a deep breath and looked at Eric for the first time that day. "Let's do this together."

* * *

When the man noticed them walking toward him, he hurriedly threw his cigarette into the dirt and ground it with the tip of his boot.

"Hey ya'll," he called out and his voice sounded high, like a child's, though he looked to be in his late thirties. "You must be Eric," he shook Eric's hand emphatically and then turned to Sookie. "And you are…"

"Sookie Stackhouse," she told him, holding out her hand. "Jason's sister." She was disgusted to feel that his palm was as sweaty as his shirt looked, and when he released his grip she had to resist the urge to wipe her hand on her pants.

"Ah, that's the fella who's gone missing, huh? I'm real sorry miss."

Eric took a step closer. "I was told you could give us information about Hotshot and what might have happened to the man," he said and Sookie noticed that the sharp bite to his tone that had been absent was back.

"Mmhm," the man hummed, pursing his lips together. "That place sure has gone downhill since I left. Not that I was the one keeping it going, mind you, but still. Mmhm."

Eric and Sookie both stared blankly at him. When it became clear he wasn't going to elaborate, Eric tried again, "Right, well we need to know what was going on in the town. Who could have done something to Sookie's brother?"

"Oh, right, right." The man took out another cigarette and began sucking on it. "Well word is that old Felton went a little crazy. His ladyfriend left him for some outsider and he up and killed Calvin, he ran the town, a nice man that Calvin," he paused for a long moment. "Anyway, so he done shot Calvin dead and then took off with his lady. She didn't want to go neither, she wanted to stay with that boy but Felton made her."

"Do you know who the other man was? What he looked like? Anything?" Sookie wanted to shake the man to make him stop rambling.

"Sure don't." He held the cigarette between his teeth and swung it back and forth. "Not too many outsiders head into Hotshot though. I'm guessing it might have been your man."

"Do you know where they went?" Eric sounded as impatient as she felt.

"Now that I do not know. But you know what?"

He let his question hang in the air until Eric rolled his eyes and asked dryly, "What?"

"I bet old Carl knows about Felton! Now Carl, he never lived in Hotshot, on account of he's not a werepanther, but he and Felton have been friends since they was about five. They stayed in contact too. I just about bet that he knows where everyone is."

He scribbled down the address of the auto repair center Carl worked at and handed it to Eric.

"Thank you," Sookie said actually meaning it. "You've been a huge help to us."

She and Eric began walking to the car until the man called out, "I should probably warn ya'll though," they both turned back to look at him. "I heard Felton, he got mixed up in doing that vampire blood and that's what set him off. If he's still on it, ya'll better be real careful."

* * *

When they got back in the car Sookie was full of anxious energy.

"A werepanther on vampire blood? This just keeps getting more and more dangerous. Can we go find that other guy now?"

Eric's hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. "I'd like to get some information about him first," he said. "I don't like to be impetuous about these things. Knowing who we're dealing with would be beneficial."

"But Eric," Sookie paused and considered her line of reasoning. She realized within seconds that Eric's argument was the most logic sequence of action. She also knew, however, that there was no logic that could contain her desperate need to find her brother. "Please?" She said, and her voice warbled.

Eric's eyes darted to her and then back to the road. He said nothing and she held her breath as he slowed the car and then deliberately turned it around.

"This may be dangerous," he warned.

"I'm not worried. We'll protect each other," she felt suddenly full of cheer at his concession.

Eric looked at her again and there was a flicker in his eyes she couldn't read, as if there were something on the tip of his tongue to say, yet he held back.

The rest of their drive was silent. Sookie tried to fumble with the radio, but as they drove deeper into the thickness of the trees all that the speakers produced was garbled static. The road they traveled on was shadowed by the overhanging limbs of foliage and the effect was sinister. Sookie unconsciously shrunk closer to Eric. Just when she thought the ominous combination of quiet and darkness would overwhelm her, Sookie let out a breath as the car entered a patch of road unobscured by trees. The radio, long since forgotten, let out a screech as a minister's voice came pouring through.

"These vampires are from hell and they will drag us to hell as the hounds of Satan unless we destroy them imed-"

Sookie's hand shot out and clicked off the sound. She looked at Eric from behind her lashes, feeling sheepishly ashamed of humans, but he was studying their surroundings and ignored the interruption. He pulled into a parking lot and set the emergency brake.

"I think," he said, his voice low and serious. "We are here."

Sookie looked at the deteriorating building in front of them. The bricks looked like they had once been painted a bright blue, but now they were faded and crumbling and the gray paint on the rest of the building was peeling away in giant strips. There were no other cars or signs of life in the lot.

"Do you think it's still open? I mean it looks pretty…" as she was speaking a man walked out of the building, wiping his hands on a rag smudged with grease. "Oh," Sookie breathed. The man was massive: not as tall as Eric but with a wider chest, vein-injected arms, and a neck as thick as a tree trunk.

"Is that Carl?" Sookie's voice had a slight twinge of hysteria in it. "I thought he was just supposed to be human?"

Eric's eyes never left the man. "I would prefer if you would stay in the car, is that a possibility?"

"No," Sookie said firmly and Eric exhaled.

"I suspected as much. Tread very carefully here, Sookie."

Their car doors clicked open at the same time. Instead of feeling comforted by the beams of the sun, Sookie found sweat began to immediately trickle down her back and pool under her breasts. They began to approach the man.

"Carl?" Eric called out and Sookie was proud to hear how steady and assured his voice sounded.

"Who's asking?" They stood in front of the stranger and Sookie studied up close the ropey map of his bulging veins and the way his stump of a neck seemed to meld into his torso. She glanced down at the way his jeans clung to his muscular thighs and blushed as she wondered if what she had heard about steroids was true. She reached out with her mind and was reassured to realize that he was, indeed, human.

"I am Eric and this is Sookie."

The man squinted at them. "Ya'll need me to look at the piece of junk you're driving?" He motioned toward Sookie's car and she narrowed her eyes at him. "I'd suggest you just give up and get a new one. That thing looks like it's had it."

Sookie took a moment to feel grateful that Eric was too focused to gloat at the man's comments about her car, but she suspected he'd bring it up later.

"No, we're looking for my brother," she said sharply and Eric slanted a look at her. She wondered if it was difficult for him to adjust to negotiating as a human rather than a thousand year old vampire who could get whatever he wanted.

Eric continued, "He had ties to Hotshot, to a man named Felton. We were told to come see you. We just want any information you can provide to help us find Felton so we may talk to him."

"What are you, cops?" The man growled and Sookie almost smiled at the image of she and Eric as partners in the law.

"No, and I do not care what the man is involved in. We are only interested in finding her brother."

"You dumbshits got no idea what you're getting yourselves into."

"Werepanthers?" Sookie challenged and she felt a thrill of satisfaction at the look of astonishment on Carl's face. It drained from her quickly when she saw the man's expression harden.

"You get the fuck off my property. I ain't telling you shit." She saw him reflect on a gun he had stashed away inside.

"Let's be reasonable," she said taking a step forward and holding her hands up in a peaceful gesture. "We just want to talk. I understand Felton might be in some trouble, but maybe we can help. We don't want any problems. Why don't you just calm down and talk to us?"

"I have a better idea: why doesn't pretty boy over here take a fucking hike, and you and me can get busy _not_ talking."

He grabbed her wrist and yanked her to him and she instinctively struck out blindly against him, grazing his jaw. In his shock he released her and she scrambled away from him.

"You bitch!" He thundered and snatched at her again. Her shirt tore as he pulled on it and she squeezed her eyes shut as his closed fist descended upon her.

Eric's hand clamped the man's forearm in a vice grip. Sookie could see his muscles rippling and clenching with the effort of holding the man back and she realized the last time her vampire had fought as a human had been over a thousand years ago, and he had probably used swords and ships and armor back then.

Carl dropped her and she staggered, falling onto her back in the dirt. Eric's eyes swept over her to access her damage and she wailed as Carl's fist collided with his face. Eric was more prepared for the second blow and he dodged and managed to land his own strike. The men circled each other, jabbing and weaving while Sookie wondered desperately what she should do.

Carl took a running leap at Eric and collided with his stomach, wrapping his bulging arms around him and tackling him to the ground. They wrestled and rolled around and the air filled with grunts and the sounds of flesh connecting with flesh and Sookie could barely perceive who was who. Finally, Eric crouched over Carl, punching him relentlessly. Carl's legs kicked desperately and one of them came into contact with Eric's knee. Eric grunted and dropped and Carl took the opportunity to leap on top of him. He grabbed Eric by the collar of his shirt and violently slammed his head onto the earth. Eric struck at his opponent's face and blood gushed out of Carl's nose. Sensing his hesitation, Eric shoved the heavy man with all his might and Carl flew back, landing with a crunch.

He rolled over, coughed, and began to crawl away. '_Goddamn Felton! Getting me mixed up in his shit! I'm going to kill him on Monday!'_

Eric stood and began to chase after the retreating figure, but Sookie ran in front of him and put her hand on his chest.

"Stop, stop!" She yelled. "You beat him and we got what we need, let's go!" Eric's body practically vibrated with adrenaline from the altercation and she knew he wanted to go after Carl, to finish the fight. He snarled and she recognized that his instincts worried about her and Carl warning Felton and the animal inside of him told him to finish the other man so they could be safe.

"Eric," she said, then she sensed what Carl was doing inside the building, felt the cool steel of the gun as it warmed in his hand. "Eric!" Her voice was a shriek as she pushed at his solid form. "Go, go! Run to the car. He has a GUN!"

Eric's eyes met hers and although she was the one yelping for him to hurry, it was he who grabbed her hand and practically carried her to the car. He opened the door and she dove in and climbed to the passenger seat. She was still half crouched when Eric gunned the engine and the tires squealed as the car took off. Sookie flew backward and knocked against the dashboard and she got the perfect view of Carl running out of the building, bloodied and aiming his gun at them. She ducked and heard shots ring out, but the car continued its trajectory down the road.

Sookie settled back into her seat and took a few deep breaths. She glanced over at Eric and gasped.

"Oh my God, Eric!" His shirt looked almost black from the saturation of blood and his face and hands looked sticky and swollen. "Eric, pull over."

"No."

"Eric, pull over I have to drive! You need to get to a hospital or-"

"Sookie," for the first time she realized his voice was trembling with repressed rage. "Sit down."

She sat.

* * *

When Eric walked up her porch stairs, he was noticeably stiffer and slower than usual. He walked inside and sat gingerly on a kitchen chair. He had not said a word the entire ride home. Sookie had never seen him look like this; she felt like crying.

"My God, Sookie," he began and she interrupted.

"I know, I know I'm sorry!" She fluttered around the kitchen pulling out bandages and antiseptics. "This is all my fault!"

Eric studied her from behind a swollen eyelid. "I was going to say," he said slowly, stretching his sore muscles. "My God, Sookie, is this how you always feel when you get hurt?"

She laughed in surprise. "Well, yes after a night out with you or Bill definitely."

He was serious. "Well for that I apologize." He looked down at his damaged body in astonishment. "This is awful! I can hardly stand it! I don't know how you manage everyday!"

She laughed again and began to dab at his wounds. "Well I don't get beat up by a giant everyday like you did, so it's usually not so bad." She paused as she worked on a cut at his eyebrow. "I'm so sorry, Eric."

"For what?"

"This," she motioned to his predicament. "It's all my fault. You wanted to wait until we had backup but I insisted we go and then I couldn't shut my mouth." She set to work scrubbing at an abrasion near his hairline.

"Sookie," his hand on hers stilled her motions. "This is not your fault. You did not force me into anything. Do not be so hard on yourself."

"But you were so angry in the car."

"Yes," he chuckled bitterly. "At that idiot for trying to hurt you, at myself for being unable to stop him," he looked down again. "At my body for betraying me in this way. I never would have let him touch you before, but today I was not fast enough, I was not strong enough."

"Eric, you won the fight," she put her hand on her hip to try and make him smile. "You don't have to kill someone to be the winner."

Eric shook his head. "I'm sorry I failed you," he said deliberately. "I was not enough today."

She brushed a lock of blond hair away from his cut and her fingers lingered on the silky strands. "You were enough for me," she said. She began to put the cream on his cuts. "That's the biggest human fight I've ever seen."

"It did not go completely badly," he admitted. "But perhaps I should spend some time at a gym or a class to reintroduce my body to human fighting skills."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I thought you were only spending a few days as a human," she teased. "Doesn't that seem a bit excessive for a few measly days as a weakling?"

"Around you a few days can spell a lifetime of trouble," his eyes grinned at her. "And I mean that as a compliment."

She couldn't help but smile as she tended to his wounds. "Only you would think getting into fights and being shot at is fun."

"There is nothing like a good fight and besides," he smiled broadly at her. "Life would be boring without some action now and then."

"Oh I don't know," she said moving to clean out his bruised knuckles. "Boring might be nice."

He looked at her intently. "Is that what you want, Sookie? A boring life?"

She rubbed a deep gash on his hand and he automatically hissed in pain. Without thinking, she bent and pressed her lips to the spot. At the first contact they both froze. Without removing her lips, she raised her eyes to meet his. He sat rigidly in the chair and there was no sign of the smirk she had expected to find. She straightened but found she could not tear herself away from the pull of his gaze.

"Sookie," he said hoarsely and that one word held a lifetime of the world's mysteries.

He reached up to stroke her cheek, but as soon as he touched her she reeled back as if she had been burned. She hurriedly gathered the first aid equipment in her arms, not bothering to pick up the pieces she dropped, and mumbled something about cleaning up.

* * *

She rushed to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Panting as though she had run a race, she collapsed onto the floor and put her head in her hands.

'_This is Eric we're talking about for God's sake.'_ She did not fantasize about kissing Eric. Eric did not have this effect on her. '_Except when I do. And except when he does_.' She sighed and tried to comfort herself with the excuse of the blood exchange. _'Does that still count now that he's been cursed?_' She thought the answer was probably not and the pit in her stomach grew as she considered that she might actually have serious feelings for Eric.

She reminded herself of how miserable she had been with Bill; how she had been lied to and felt looked down upon and never had the chance of a normal life. She didn't want that again. But maybe with Eric it would be different. He was so sweet sometimes and even though he could be a jackass, she never questioned that he cared for her. Still, she thought, caring does not equal love and she was uncertain that the Viking could love anyone or if he would ever let himself try. Could he ever be a boyfriend in the true sense of the word? Could any vampire?

But Eric was human now, she reasoned. And the past few days with him had been more fun than she had experienced in a long time; Good fun, fun that consisted of jokes and secret glances and nudges and real conversations. Who else did she have that with?

She looked at the closed bathroom door as if she expected Eric to materialize in front of her. She sat in numb silence for a while without thinking any coherent thoughts. Eric may not be a vampire right now, but he would be again and that's what he wanted. Could she be with another lover in whose world she would never truly belong? Maybe she did want that boring life that Eric had scoffed at. Was it so crazy to long for marriage and children and a life that didn't involve her fearing for her safety?

She stood up and walked over to the sink, running some cold water over her face. She knew that her head and her heart were running in two completely different directions and she'd have to pick a side soon.

When she looked up in the mirror she took in her tousled hair and bright eyes and she realized with a pang that she barely recognized herself.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning when the phone shattered the stillness of the morning, Sookie awoke with the absolute certainty that everything had been a dream. She knew in her bones that the person on the other end would be Jason. Jumping out of bed with an energy that surprised herself, she snatched the phone from its cradle.

"Hello," she said breathlessly.

"Sookie?"

"Sam?" Her déjà vu reflex made her wonder if she had fallen through time.

"Sookie, you were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, is everything okay?"

She clapped her hand to her forehead. "Oh my gosh, Sam I am so sorry! I completely forgot that I told you I'd work today! Everything has just been crazy since the last time I saw you and it slipped my mind. I'll be right over!"

As she was hanging up the phone, Eric stumbled into her room rubbing his eyes. His blond hair was mused and he was clad in only a black pair of boxer briefs.

"What's going on?" His voice was thick and he squinted at her through eyes unaccustomed to the light.

She tried to focus on his bruised face and not his half naked body. "I have to go to work. Last time I was there I promised Sam I'd come in today and I'm late."

"You woke me up." She snuck a peak as he sat down on the edge of her bed; there was some bruising near his ribs, she noted, but not an ounce of fat. His chest muscles teased her as he stretched and yawned, his eyes practically shut again. He didn't even know what he was doing to her. She sighed. This kind of perfection was what they modeled statues after.

"It's too early to be up," he complained.

She began to busy herself by pulling out her clothes from their respective drawers. "Vampires don't need that much sleep, Eric."

"But I'm not a vampire right now," his voice was muffled as he slumped onto her mattress, burying his face in her pillow.

Glancing at the clock, she hurried to the bathroom to get dressed. She threw on a pair of shorts and her bra and haphazardly rolled on some deodorant. She brushed her teeth and ran a comb through her hair in record time and then turned to grab her shirt. She spun in a quick circle and then rolled her eyes at her own absent mind. She had left the white shirt Sam insisted on in her room.

She ventured her head out of the door and craned to look at her bed. Eric had not moved and his breathing was steady and even. Without giving herself time to over think the situation, she darted out of the bathroom and into her room. Her hair whirled around her face as she searched for the shirt. Her eyes darted to Eric, but although his head was facing her, his eyes were closed and his face still. She resumed her hunt and raised her eyes in a silent prayer of thanks when she saw it on the back of her desk chair. She shrugged it on and straightened herself out, allowing herself to relax.

"When will you be back?"

She shrieked and turned to face him. "You were awake this whole time? Were you watching me?"

"What should I do while you're gone?" His eyes were still shut and the smallest of smiles graced his face.

"I don't know, Eric," she glanced at herself in the mirror and thanked the Lord she had put on her pretty pink laced bra. "Read a book, plan your world domination. Just stay out of trouble okay? I don't want to have to worry about you while I'm working."

She strode out of the room to make herself some toast. She jammed the bread into her mouth and swooped her hair into a ponytail. Never taking her eyes from the clock, she drained a glass of orange juice and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. She should have left by now. Sighing, she half-jogged back to her room to remind Eric when she would be home.

She stopped in the doorway and looked at him. His face was relaxed and innocent in a way she rarely saw in the vampire. His hair looked soft on his forehead and the glow of his now tanned skin against her white sheets reminded her of a dream of him she had once had. One hand curled under the cushion his head rested on and the other clutched at her second pillow, pulling it toward him in an intimate cuddle. She thought about waking him up, considering it seemed inappropriate that he was sleeping in her bed, but she decided against it. He looked like he belonged there.

She jotted a quick note to him and stuck it on the kitchen table and then she ran out to her car, locking the house behind her and hoping that everything and everyone inside would be safe while she was gone.

* * *

Eric shot up in the bed. The air was thick and heavy around him and he felt disoriented.

"Sookie?" He called out. He looked around the room for her. She had just been here. He grinned when he remembered how she had looked in her bra. He couldn't remember the last time seeing that little of a woman had excited him so much. "Sookie," he said again and wondered if she had just slipped out without him hearing. He looked around for her clock and blinked in surprise. It had been over two hours since Sookie had left.

He rubbed his matted hair and yawned in satisfaction. It was nice to sleep this late; it was especially nice to sleep this late in a bed that smelled of Sookie. He collapsed back against her pillows and tried unsuccessfully to lessen the grin that stretched across his face. When he had climbed into her bed, it was still warm from her body. He wished ruefully that she were here with him although he knew his fantasy of her climbing into bed with him was far from reality at this point. He pondered this longing to be close to her, to simply lay with her in bed on a sunny morning. For the first time since he had opened his eyes, his grin slid off his face. He still wanted to have sex with her of course, but there was something more he dreamed about now, aspects of a life with Sookie that were domestic and loving and human. He cringed and forced himself to get off the bed. He didn't want to think about this right now; not about his feelings toward Sookie or his enjoyment of his recent human activities. Soon Pam would find the witch and he would be his normal self again. Until then, why shouldn't he enjoy himself?

He padded over to the bathroom in his bare feet and set about the morning ritual into which he had easily fallen: using the toilet, brushing his teeth, and showering. He had used Sookie's shower supplies for the first few days, but then had gone to the store with her to pick up some of his own products. While he enjoyed smelling her coconut body wash on her, it felt a little too emasculating to go about his day smelling of it.

After his shower, he looked through his bag of clothes Pam had brought over. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then, looking around, he smirked and walked to the living room completely in the nude. It felt deliciously naughty to be naked in Sookie's house and he considered texting her a picture, but decided against beginning another argument with his hostess. She could be very emotional about those types of things.

He looked out her front window and inhaled a deep breath at the brilliant glint of sunshine on her lawn. Mornings were his favorite, he decided. He felt like he could sit in that sunshine the whole day and not be bored. Interrupting the calm, he stomach let out an angry grumble. Eric looked down at himself in surprise. "Right," he said, his voice echoing in the empty house. "Right."

Walking into the kitchen, he stared at Sookie's cooking appliances in a dumbfounded stupor. He had lived for over a thousand years, battled countless enemies, and become a force to be reckoned with in vampire politics, yet cooking a human meal… Skimming Sookie's note, he sighed in agitation and began walking around the room, running his fingers over her things. She wouldn't be home until almost seven. He had the whole day to wait for her and to fend for himself. He opened one drawer after another hoping that some item would strike him with inspiration. He stopped when he noticed a cook book in the bottom drawer. He flipped through its pages, staring in awe at the photos of steaming food. Glancing at the clock, he smiled and began going through Sookie's refrigerator, piling food on the counter; inspiration had struck.

* * *

Sookie laughed at Lafayette as he placed the plate in front of her. "Shut up!" She said but she was still giggling.

"I'm being for real, lady," he leaned his elbows on the partition and twirled his finger. "Give me a spin, show me what you're working with." She rolled her eyes and spun in an exaggerated circle, holding out her arms. "Mmm mmm mm!" Lafayette snapped his fingers. "Sook, you practically glowing, girl. Last time I saw you, you looked like a kid whose balloon just popped. What's your secret? Someone poking you just right?"

"Lafayette!" Sookie squealed, but she couldn't help but laugh again. "Not everything is about sex you know."

"Mm. Only the good things in life."

She threw a stray French fry at him and turned to deliver the food. As she was walking to refill someone's Coke, a gruff voice to her left said, "Nobody's taken my order yet."

Sookie stiffened and slowly turned. "Sure, Andy," her voice was crisp and bright. "I'll be right there." She got the drink for the women and then came to stand in front of Andy's booth with her pad out. "So, what can I get you?"

"You heard from your brother?"

Sookie sighed and shifted her weight to one leg. "No, Andy. My brother is still missing."

"The DEA is up my ass on this, Sookie. They think he warned those people and then took off with them like some kind of goddamn hillbilly Moses."

"That's ridiculous!" Sookie's voice rose and she saw a few patrons glance in their direction. She leaned closer to his face. "They _took_ him," she hissed. "You guys should be looking for him to help him, not hunting him down like he's some kind of criminal. For God's sake this is Jason we're talking about, Andy. You know him."

"Yeah I do know him," Andy's voice was just as irate as hers. "And I know he gets himself into a lot of stupid shit just like this." They glared at each other for tense seconds then Andy's eyes lowered. "I'll take a burger and fries."

Sookie stalked away from him, placed the order, and then rushed to Sam's office, slamming the door behind her. She was still fuming when Sam came in quietly.

"Sookie, is everything okay? What was that about?"

She turned to him and at the look on her face he walked over and wrapped his arms around her. She let herself be engulfed by his warmth and she rested her forehead against his flannel-covered chest. Taking some calming breaths, she pulled back and looked at his concerned eyes.

"Jason's missing," she said by way of explanation.

"Missing?"

"Andy thinks he ran away with some drug dealers from Hotshot to protect them, but I've been looking for him and I think someone took him."

"Sookie, my God, I," Sam brushed her hair away from her face. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No." Sookie backed away and began straightening herself out, her voice oddly steady and calm. "I've got it under control. The person who I think is responsible for all this is coming back around next Monday," she paused and thought about it. "I'm going to solve this then."

Same looked alarmed. "Monday? I'll go with you."

"No!" Sookie felt a rush of panic at the thought of exposing Eric's secret. She trusted Sam, but she had given her word to the vampire that she wouldn't tell anyone. "I have someone going with me."

"Sookie…"

"Don't worry, Sam," she flashed him a smile. "We'll be safe."

* * *

Eric barely heard the phone over the hum of the blender. He reached out a batter-dipped hand to snatch it up. "Hello?" He balanced the cordless between his ear and his shoulder as he continued to chop the cucumber in front of him.

"Eric?"

"What?" He yelled.

"Eric!" Sookie glanced around the bar self-consciously as she raised her voice to be heard over the apparent tornado that was ripping through his end of the line. "What's going on?"

"Sookie," he sounded gleeful. "How's work?"

"It's fine, I was just calling to check in. What's going on there?"

"Oh don't you worry about me," he was still shouting. "And don't you work too hard! See you soon."

"No, wait, Eric what are you-" The phone clicked in her ear and she looked at it for a moment. "Doing," she finished.

* * *

A few hours later, when she pulled into her driveway, the light was already almost completely drained from the sky. She closed her car door and leaned against the vehicle, looking at the glow from her house's windows. It looked inviting and warm. She lingered for an extra moment and was surprised when her front door opened.

Eric's big frame filled the doorway and the light behind him exaggerated his silhouette and shadowed his face. "Welcome home!" His voice boomed. "Come inside, I've been waiting for you."

She smiled and felt her exhaustion slipping away as she walked toward him. He hovered just inside the door and took her bag and coat as she walked in. He had on jeans and a button-down shirt and his hair was brushed back from his face. She crinkled her nose suspiciously.

"What's going on?"

"Close your eyes," he looked practically giddy.

"Eric," she said warningly.

"Trust me," he held out his hand and she looked at him a second longer before closing her eyes in resignation and accepting his offering. He led her into the next room and her interest was piqued as she realized the house was filled with an interesting smell.

"What is that?" she asked. "Did you order food? It smells good."

Eric squinted at her face, trying to judge if she was peaking or not. He waved a hand in front of her face and, satisfied when she didn't react, he maneuvered her in front of the table.

He stood behind her and leaned so his lips brushed her ear. "Okay," he whispered and she shivered. "Open your eyes."

Her eyes fluttered and she gasped at the sight before her. The table was blanketed by a white table cloth and two statuesque candles cast a glow over the scene. There were two plates at either end of the table, and they were covered to hide their contents from view.

"Sit, sit," Eric ushered her into a chair and revealed the contents of her plate to her. Immediately the delicious aroma floated up to her and she inhaled sharply. "It's lamb chops with mint almond pesto," he told her. "And green beans and rice and salad, and," he continued with a flourish. "For desert, chocolate cake." He pulled out a lopsided mass lathered in chocolate frosting. It looked as if someone had sat on it.

"You did all this?" Sookie asked slowly.

"Yes I made you a human dinner," he looked as proud as if he had just cured cancer.

Sookie gazed in wonder at the spread around them and the intimate atmosphere he had worked to create and she smiled up at him.

"This is," she said. "So perfect and sweet. Thank you." He continued to look at her expectantly. "I love it," she added and a beam split his face.

"Great." He sat across from her and placed a napkin in his lap. He watched while she took a bite and nodded in approval. "So," he popped a green bean in his mouth with a crunch. "Tell me about your day."

* * *

Sookie's hands searched the damp, soapy water for any lingering dishes and laughed as Eric finished his story about meeting Shakespeare.

"I wish I could have been there," she handed him a fork and he dried it and placed it in its home.

"Don't," he chuckled. "He was dull and depressed and poor. I never would have guessed he would affect the world in such a way. Perhaps I should have turned him."

"Imagine? That would be amazing if he were still around writing."

"I never knew you were such a fan."

"Well, most of it goes over my head," she admitted. "But some of it just," she sighed. "It's universal." She emptied the water and he handed her the dishrag so she could dry her hands. She turned to him. "So what's next?"

He looked around uncertainly. "I'm not sure."

"You don't have some other awesome surprise planned?"

He smiled and scratched the back of his neck. "This meal alone took me all day. I think I wasted all my available brain cells on keeping the house from burning down."

"Which I appreciate," she laughed and flicked at him with the towel. "How about a movie?" He smiled and nodded at her. "Okay, I'll make some popcorn and you go find one on TV okay?" He patted her shoulder on the way by and her eyes followed him until he disappeared.

She placed a flattened bag of popcorn into the microwave and then walked to put the unnoticed tub of butter back in the fridge. As the door shut, her eyes caught on a picture of her grandmother dangling under a kitten magnet. She traced Gran's smile with the tip of her finger. She thought about the meals they had together and all the happy times they had shared right in this same room.

Eric called for her and she cast one last look around the kitchen. The sponge was dripping in the sink and the smell of the popcorn filled the house as she poured it into a bowl. She remembered how Gran had made this house a home so that every night when Sookie came back it felt like a family. She realized with a start that that's what this was: coming home to dinner and good conversation and laughter. A family. She smiled and went to join Eric.


	10. Chapter 10

"He doesn't think he can make it," Eric came back into the room and set the phone on the table in front of her.

"He can't make it?"

"It appears the Were was called away by an unavoidable emergency and it will occupy much of his attention for the next week. He assured me that he will try his best to return in time, but he is no longer in my debt so he is not required."

"But Alcide is my friend," Sookie protested, feeling a little stung.

"He sounded sincere about his responsibilities elsewhere and his hope to return in time," Eric offered her.

"So, we're going to confront a werepanther on our own?"

Eric sat next to her at the table and looked as though he were deep in thought. "It would be best if we got as few as possible involved in this for their safety and my own. You said that the panther plans to meet Carl close to sunset, perhaps we can remain unseen or out of trouble until dark and I can arrange for Pam to meet us there. Yes," he paused to consider this idea. "That should work well for all parties involved."

"But what if Pam can't handle them both?"

Eric's eyes beamed at her. "You think that Pam would fall to a human and a panther? I can't wait to tell her this."

"I'm serious, Eric," she said stubbornly. "Don't pretend this isn't dangerous. I don't want to die because Pam decides to get a snack on her way to meet us."

"I will not let you be hurt," his voice was fierce and she studied him for a moment before heaving a sigh.

"I trust you," she reached out to pat his hand and a spark passed between them, electric and enticing. There was something different in the way he looked at her in that moment, and she knew he felt it too.

Feeling shaky, she withdrew her hand and motioned over to the deck of cards littering the other side of the table. "Want to play again," she suggested weakly.

"Perhaps we should up the stakes."

She laughed at his suggestive tone and decided to play along. "What do you have in mind?"

His eyelids lowered over his lust-filled eyes and she swallowed thickly.

"Hello?" A cheerful voice called from behind the door and Sookie was out of her seat like a rocket to open it for Pam.

Although she was grateful for this interruption, Sookie couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed with the pastel-clothed vampire. "Never heard of a phone, Pam?"

Pam's heels clicked sharply as she walked into the house. "I could call, but then I wouldn't have the joy of interrupting your exotic exploits with my well-endowed Maker. What were you two lovebirds doing this time? Fucking on the kitchen table?"

"You test my patience with your continual intrusions," Eric said as he strolled into the room. "You should know better."

"But, Eric," Pam protested dryly. "Haven't you missed me?"

Eric smirked at his progeny. "You make it impossible to, seeing as how you always seem to pop up at the most inopportune times. Next time I may not be so forgiving."

She fluttered her eyelashes coyly. "So sorry. Were you two testing out human endurance?"

"No!" Sookie chimed in quickly. "We were just playing cards and getting ready to cook dinner."

Pam's bemused face turned to the telepath. "Eric does not cook."

"Sure he does! He cooked me a meal last night that was absolutely scrumptious."

"Scrumptious?" Pam rolled the word around in her mouth and then turned slowly to Eric. "You made her a human meal? How darling."

Suddenly catching on to the tension between them, Sookie frowned. "It really was good."

"Oh I can only imagine."

Eric's face was stiff. "Enough, Pam."

"Oh no, Eric it's not nearly enough! Sookie please enlighten me to more of these delightful pastimes of the man."

Sookie's eyes flicked uncertainly back and forth between the two figures in front of her.

"Eric," she said softly.

"Perhaps he likes to cry while watching films about young orphans or single mothers?" Pam suggested. "Or do you do each other's hair and nails while gossiping about the boys in the neighborhood?"

"I said enough." Eric's voice was quieter than before but the danger lurking below the surface caused Pam to duck her head. Sookie wondered if it felt odd for the vampire to show such fear toward a human, Maker or not. "You forget your place," Eric snarled. "Are you not aware that I am stuck in this predicament as I wait for you? Had you moved faster and been competent at your task I would not have been forced to suffer under such conditions and perform such mundane tasks for my survival. You dare to find humor in my situation? I suffer as I wait for you. Perhaps I have given you too much credit."

Sookie had never heard Eric speak to Pam so angrily. Although his glare was not directed at her, even she experienced a twinge of fear.

"No, Master," Pam bowed deeply. "I apologize for my insubordination. It will not happen again."

"Speak your purpose here," he commanded.

"I have located the witch," at Sookie's gasp, Pam's eyes rose to her then looked down again. "It was Yvetta who ordered the spell cast, and it is she who holds the key to its reversal. The witch currently makes preparations to create a potion that will right your…situation, but I must obtain Yvetta for it to be completed."

Eric nodded briskly. "Do it. And do not delay. I grow tired of this arrangement."

* * *

When they were left alone again, Sookie began to pick up the cards. She felt, rather than heard, Eric's presence behind her.

"I thought we were going to play?"

"No," she said without looking at him. "No, I don't really feel like it anymore."

"You are upset."

"No," she jammed the last few cards back in their box and tossed it into a drawer before whirling around to face him. "It's just that, I'd hate to, you know, subject you to that kind of awful human behavior. I know you're growing tired of it."

He practically groaned. "Must you take everything so personally?"

"Yes, Eric, I must. You know why? Because it is personal. This is my life, here, my very human life, that I have been kind enough to share with you for some reason and you just, you…you _shit_ all over it again!"

For a second, he looked as though he might laugh at her uncharacteristic expression, but seeing how upset she was, he quickly sobered. "Sookie, what I said to Pam wasn't about you."

"Don't," she held up a hand and stalked away from him. "Don't feed me that crap okay? Because I'm really getting tired of it."

She walked around the house, busing herself by rinsing some dishes in the sink, swiping at imaginary crumbs, picking up a stray towel from the bathroom floor; anything to keep herself from having to look at him, from revealing the hurt behind her eyes that was fueling her anger. He trailed a few steps behind her at every turn.

"Tired of what?"

"You're joking right?" She scowled at him. "This, Eric. This bizarre dance we keep doing. First you're hot, then you're cold. You do something sweet and nice, like cooking me a fantastic dinner and talking with me, then you follow it up by broadcasting how much you hate doing things like that and how they mean nothing."

"It was just a dinner, Sookie."

"Well it meant-"she realized she was shouting and took a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was lower and calmer, but even she could hear the emotion crackling at her defenses. "It meant something to me."

She went into the living room and began refolding some blankets, trying to control her trembling hands. Eric sank onto the couch watching her.

"I apologize for causing you pain, but-"

"Pain? Oh, you didn't cause me pain." She curled her lip and shook her head emphatically. "No, Eric, pain would suggest that I care about you, and we don't care about each other, right?"

He blinked at her, but his face betrayed no emotion. "You're acting like a child."

"Me? I'm acting like a child?" She threw a blanket down and went to stand in front of him, practically snarling down at him. "If anyone is being immature here, it's you, Eric. And you're like, a million years old so you need to get over your hang-ups."

"Excuse me?"

"This whole 'I don't care about anyone because I'm a big, bad vampire and I hate being human,' thing, because honestly, the only person you're fooling is yourself."

"I am a big, bad vampire."

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes and walked away and he immediately leapt up to follow her.

"And I do hate being human."

"You know what?" She turned to face him so quickly he almost smashed into her. "That's bullshit." She could see the rage beginning to cloud his face, but she couldn't bring herself to stop at that moment.

"You like lying out in the sun, you like eating human food, you like watching TV, and you like talking with me like we're friends." She poked him in the chest with each word and he began to back-up so that they formed a staggering pattern back to the living room.

He stopped and brushed her hand away from his chest. "Yes, I do like those things; I haven't done them in centuries. But that doesn't mean that I like being human."

"That's what being human IS, Eric! God!" She ran a hand through her hair. "Spending quiet time with someone, sharing details of your life, doing housework together, laughing together," she tried to reason with him. "These are _human_ activities. And you love them. You've been happy doing them."

"Well what am I supposed to do?" He cried out in frustration.

"Admit it to yourself and take a minute to think about what you're so quick to throw away."

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe you don't miss being a vampire as much as you'd like everyone, including yourself, to believe."

"No. No." He was dangerously close to her now, glowering down at her in anger. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Instead of backing away, she took a step into him so that her breasts brushed against his chest. "I know that you're afraid," she challenged. When he laughed bitterly, she continued, "You're afraid of not being some stupid vampire sheriff because that's all you've known for so long."

"No."

"You're afraid to admit to yourself that you have those fears because you've been pushing your emotions away and pretending you don't have them, so when they rear their ugly heads, you don't know what to do."

"No."

"And you're afraid that as a human you'll have to man up to those emotions and take a hard look at what your life is like and if it really makes you happy. Because, deep down, you know it doesn't."

"No," Eric roared, and when Sookie took a step back, he bent down so they were nose to nose. She blinked against the onslaught of emotions in his eyes; they were so icy blue they looked like they were on fire. "If I stay a human, I will lose everything."

"Not everything," she said softly.

His breathing was ragged. "You don't know what you're asking."

"All I'm asking is for you to actually look at what you really want, Eric. You've been given a choice here and you're too stubborn to give yourself the chance to consider all the sides."

"I have thought about it-"

"You haven't."

"You don't know!" he bellowed and she thought that she could feel the house shake at his outburst.

"Tell me," her voice was barely a whisper as she stared in awe at the turmoil sweeping across the Viking's face.

"I have responsibilities. I have those who depend on me, who are waiting for me to come back. Because they mean nothing to you, because I do not show my affection in ways that you deem appropriate, you think that they do not matter, but they do."

"That world is-"

"That world is my world. And they are my people and I cannot abandon them."

"Pam would be fine-"

"And if I stayed human, what would I do? What skills do I have for this time besides those that I utilize as a vampire? How will I fit into a world where people watch television all day, and force their families into bankruptcy for the convenience of unnecessary material objects, and poison the earth with their toxins?"

He looked at her and when she remained silent, he shrugged in a poor attempt at ambivalence and then faltered. "If I stayed human, I would die."

"Everyone dies."

"Not me. Not as a vampire."

"Eric," she put her hand on his arm, but he backed away from her touch, his shoulders heaving with his gasps. "You're looking at death like it's a punishment, like it's something to fear."

"Isn't it? You fear death."

"No. You're right I don't want to die right now, and I worry about a painful death, but the act of dying? That's as natural as living. Growing old with someone and then peacefully going back to the earth is a gift. It's a gift that you'll never know if you're a vampire."

"You do not understand."

"Stop being so afraid."

"I am not meant to be a human. I do not have the capacity to love and to cherish…" He turned away and she reached out to him.

"You do! I've seen it. You're just too scared to accept it within yourself."

"Stop it, Sookie."

He did not look at her and she continued to speak to his back. "I could help you. You could be happy."

"No."

"Stop punishing yourself. Let yourself be happy."

He spun at her so quickly she barely had time to gasp before his lips were on hers. He crushed her to him, his mouth slanting over hers. In her surprise, she didn't even consider resisting and he took advantage of her acquiescence by slipping his tongue into her mouth.

One of his hands gripped at her hair and the slight twinge of pain mingled with her pleasure deliciously. His other hand roamed her body, faintly tracing the outline of her breast before resting firmly on her lower hip. She felt a pang of lust hit her so hard that she groaned against his lips. He responded with a low growl of his own, and she twined her hands behind his neck to urge him closer.

She wasn't sure how they had moved so far, but she felt her back flatten against the wall and Eric's firm body pressed her against it so she felt fully enveloped. Trying to gain better leverage, she wrapped a leg around him and when he nipped at her bottom lip, she felt his interest against her thigh.

The kiss was at once tender and aggressive, and it tasted faintly of tears, though Sookie was unsure whose they were, hers or Eric's. When they broke apart, gasping for air, she could feel his hot breath against her neck.

"Eric," she murmured in wonder, her fingers toying with the short hairs at the back of his neck.

She could feel every contour of his body, every muscle straining, so close were they merged together. Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, he was gone, moving with almost vampire speed so that by the time she recognized the cool air around her, he had vanished from sight. The only indications that he had been there were her swollen lips, a dampness between her thighs, and the sound of the back door slamming behind him.

"Eric," she whispered again.


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks so much for all the reviews! Every time I read one, it inspires me to write more so please keep them coming! - R_

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* * *

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The sun slanting through her blinds created a blocked pattern of light across her face, waking Sookie the next morning. Expecting it to still be night, she blinked in surprise at her natural alarm clock and gingerly stretched her sore muscles. She had stayed up for hours waiting for Eric to return, sitting on the couch anxiously replaying their stormy encounter on loop in her mind. She must have eventually fallen asleep, curled in a ball on her worn-in sofa, a position for which her cramped body was now thanking her.

The house was silent around her and she wondered if Eric was still sleeping, assuming he had snuck in while she was passed out in the living room. She tiptoed over to his room and felt her stomach drop at the sight of the empty and untouched bed. He had never come home. He stayed out all night. Her mind began to race. There were a million things that could have happened to him; a myriad of horrific possibilities clawed at her.

She sank onto the bed and covered her face with her hands. '_This is all my fault_.' If only she hadn't pushed him, hadn't let her frustration snap her composure. '_If only he wasn't so damn stubborn._' She only wanted what was best for him. Sure, for some reason the idea of him leaving her to return to his undead existence resulted in an ache in her chest that constricted her breathing, but she wasn't trying to force him into anything. She honestly believed that as much as she had enjoyed having him around, he had loved it even more. The happiness, humor, and energy he had shown lately spoke volumes to her. Never in her wildest dreams, and some of her nighttime fantasies had been pretty wild, had she imagined that the vampire sheriff could be so fun and sensitive. He had spent over a thousand years as a heartless killer and in a matter of days he had acclimated to human life beautifully. She wasn't asking him to remain human; she was simply requesting that he take the time to think about his options before just assuming he had to resume his position at Fangtasia. And if she hoped that he chose life, well no one could blame her for that, but she would support any decision he made. Besides, she told herself, it didn't really matter to her what he ultimately did, she was purely thinking in his interest and if he became a vampire again, that would just mean her life would go back to normal.

Her eyes rose slowly as she heard the front door open. "Eric?" She stood and walked toward the sound. "Eric, is that you?"

She stopped when she saw him, waiting silently for her. "You're home," she said and he nodded curtly. "Where were you all night?"

"Out," his voice had that telltale lack of emotion to it and she sighed.

"Out where?" When he didn't answer she frowned at him. "Going back to Shreveport is dangerous, Eric. That witch and Yvetta and God knows who else is probably looking for you there."

"I didn't go to Shreveport. I was just out." His eyes never settled on her. Her mind wandered to the possibility that he had spent the evening with another woman, and jealously flamed up within her. Annoyed with herself and confused by the onslaught of emotions, she tried unsuccessfully to ignore them.

"Wandering around at night was a stupid idea. Anyone could have seen you, Bill or another vampire or even another supernatural thing that wants you dead. You risked your life, you know, so I hope it was worth it."

"No one saw me."

"How do you know that," she growled in frustration. "Where did you go? Did you stay up the whole night?" He was still looking past her into the backyard. "Eric, I was worried! I mean, I'm sorry about last night, I wish we hadn't argued that way, but that's no excuse to just run off. Anything could have happened to you and I'd have no way of knowing or helping you. I mean," she broke off and followed his gaze to the backyard. "What is that?"

"A punching bag. I asked Pam to bring one over."

"You set up a punching bag in my backyard to exercise?"

"Yes."

She opened her mouth to speak, but at the look on his face, she shut it.

"Okay."

* * *

Eric's hands burned from the impact of the tough exterior of the bag. He had wrapped his knuckles, but still they ached, and he embraced the pain. As a vampire he had experienced pain, of course, but to a lesser extent and the quickness of his healing made him hardly notice little injuries. This human hurt, the blood swelling and rushing to his extremities, felt exhilarating and real. The sting in his hands, the stitch in his lungs, the bite in his arms, all communicated that he was alive.

He ducked to avoid an imaginary assailant and jabbed at the bag. It swayed under the impact and he let it knock back into him, pushing him off balance so he had to work to recover his stance to land the next hit. He knew Sookie thought this was unnecessary and bizarre, and she was probably right, but he enjoyed the exercise.

Sleep tugged at his brain, but he brushed it away. He didn't want to waste the daylight being dead to the world; there would be time for that soon. He felt badly for worrying Sookie, but his guilt annoyed him. What right did she have to know his whereabouts at all times? She wasn't his, he wasn't hers, they were…He didn't really know what they were. It was clear that the woman cared for him, but he had known that as a vampire. Now, however, he felt it was something more. He wished ruefully that he had the connection with her to sense her emotions. She could slingshot from one feeling to the next so quickly he found it impossible to keep up.

She wanted him to stay human, that much was certain. And she thought he wanted that as well. He struck the bag violently. As if she knew him; as if anyone did. Pam was the closest one to ever understanding him and even she never fully grasped what went on in his head. To be honest, even he was having trouble recognizing what he wanted. He felt torn and uncertain, emotions that he was unused to withstanding. He was always the one who knew what he was doing, who had a plan and remained logical above all else. He didn't know if it was being human or being around Sookie or a combination of the two, but he felt so unlike himself he itched to jump out of his skin.

He had little use for emotions at Fangtasia, but here he found that he interacted easily with them. It was almost enough to make him wonder what remaining human would be like. But he would fail at that, he knew it in his bones. He couldn't be like Sookie and let his feelings rule him and consume him completely, then where would his logic be? His order? No, humanity was a dangerous thing for him and a state of being that eluded him.

Still, parts of Sookie's berating last night resonated with him. There were parts of him, parts that he had been doing his best to ignore, that questioned, that yearned. The chain that held the bag screeched under his assault. It really wasn't like he had a choice, though; that's what Sookie didn't understand. If he stayed human, Pam and Chow and others would be in grave danger and he would be hunted down by enemies. He would never be safe and he would never fit in. There would always be a part of him that longed for the night. He wondered fleetingly which desire was worse: his craving for the sun or his love of the vampire world. Brushing these thoughts aside, he hit the bag again. It wasn't like he had a choice in the matter anyway. Sookie just had to realize that. He didn't have a choice so why bring up the pain of considering?

* * *

Sookie heard the shower start when Eric came back inside and she tried not to sigh in contentment at having him in the house. Having lived with Gran and largely with Bill toward the end of their relationship, she had forgotten how lonely the house got when it was just her. It was nice to have someone else around, even if he was itching to die and get away from her. She rolled her eyes at the dark thought and settled onto the couch with a book.

"Another romance novel?" Sookie jumped at the sudden voice and then grinned up at Eric. He was standing at the end of the couch with a glass of water. The clean smell of him wafted over to her and she inhaled greedily. He had thrown on a pair of jeans and a shirt, but droplets continued to fall slowly from his hair, leaving dark spots on the cotton.

"Geez, Eric, you're definitely still a master of that whole silent vampire thing; I didn't even hear you walking around."

"Too engrossed in your literature." There was something underneath his lighthearted tone, a satirical criticism, and she blinked at him uncertainly.

"Yeah, well, it's a good book," she said, a small smile still hopefully gracing her lips.

"World-changing, I assume."

She closed the book and rose, not wanting to fight again. "You can borrow it when I'm through," she meant it as a joke, missing the easy banter that had defined their days together, but he narrowed his eyes at her.

"As if I would be interested in such banal human dribble?"

She leaned against the arm of a chair and realized that although the smile was still on her face, it had morphed into a grimace. "Of course not. You're way above human exploits such as love and romance." She took a breath, tried to steal herself away from this argument he obviously wanted to have. "Do you want to talk about last night," she asked.

"Simply because I think your ideas of partnership are unrealistic and childish does not mean I wish to sit with you and talk about my feelings."

"Yeah, because you're such an expert on relationships," she snapped.

He smirked at her and gave her body a lingering look. She could almost feel the caress and against her better judgment, her body responded. "Tell me something, Sookie," his voice was low and exotic and he sauntered slowly to her, _'Like a lion stalking its prey,'_ she thought suddenly, until he was towering over her and the scent of him overwhelmed her senses.

"What if I was like the men in your stories?" He leaned close to her, his breath stirring against her cheek. "What if I told you that I love being human and will stay like that, simply for the joy of being with you," her eyes widened as his lips brushed her ear seductively. "Then would you sleep with me?"

Feeling as though she had been punched in the stomach, Sookie reeled back and her palm connected violently with his left cheek. His head fell sideways and at the stinging sound of the blow, Sookie's hands covered her mouth in horror.

Eric looked back at her with gleaming eyes, and although his cheek showcased the red imprint of her palm, the smug grin remained on his face.

"Isn't that what you're waiting for me to say, Sookie?" he sneered. "Wouldn't I be the perfect man for you if I did? Delicate and guileless and spineless?"

"Loving someone does not make you spineless," she said through gritted teeth.

"No, Bill certainly had some spunk to him, didn't he?"

She didn't realize she had raised her hand to strike again, until he grasped her wrist, tightly but not painfully. She glowered up at him.

"I cannot be the man that you dream of," he hissed at her. "I cannot fulfill you and be your everything."

She struggled against his hold, but he held fast. "I only want you to fulfill yourself," she said angrily, pushing at his chest with her free hand.

"I have been this way for over a millennium."

"People can change," she cried out. "You're not the heartless bastard you try to be. There's love in you!"

He released her and they glared at each other. He opened his mouth to speak, but before a sound emerged, his cell phone let out a shrill cry from his pocket. He gave her a look to communicate that their discussion was not over, then clicked his phone open.

"Northman," he barked and she watched as he listened to the caller. His face grew dramatically serious, and she felt her anger replaced by concern. "Excellent," he said into the line. "Tell Pam I am pleased and I await further word." He shut the phone and threw it onto the couch.

At her curious look he said, "That was Bobby. Pam has captured Yvetta. She was the last puzzle piece the witch needed to reverse the spell. A potion will be made to restore me in a few days," his voice was strangely flat and all the frustration and anger had drained from the room. Eric looked drawn and pale. He looked around the room, his eyes never settling on anything. "Soon this will all be over."

Feeling chilled, Sookie wrapped her arms around herself. "So you've made your decision then."

When he looked at her, his face held none of the contempt that had been broadcasted moments ago. "You cannot expect a few days as a human to alter me so greatly."

"You cannot deny that it has." He averted his face sullenly and she sighed. "I don't want to fight with you, Eric. I shouldn't have said things the way I did. I don't have expectations for you, but as someone who cares for you," he looked back at her but said nothing. "I want you to think about what's best for YOU for once, no more sacrificing." The muscles in his jaw flexed. "You've been a vampire for a thousand years. Do you want something different? Do you want to live forever?" Her voice was soft and unthreatening. "Do you even think about what your life could be like if you stayed a human?"

He fixed her with his blue stare, but they looked right past her, as if he was seeing a future or alternate world play out in front of him. Torment skittered across his face as his eyes took in the imaginary scene.

"I think about it," he said finally, his voice husky. "I think about it all the time."

Suddenly, Sookie could not think of a single thing to say.


	12. Chapter 12

_So this is my first fanfic, and I don't really know the rules, so…I'm changing this rating to M. Hope that doesn't offend anyone. _

_Also, people have been asking me about my inspiration for this, so I just wanted to let you know that while writing this chapter, and a lot of the chapters, I was listening to a song. I also got the title of this story from that song. It is by Thriving Ivory and it's called Flowers for a Ghost. If you have a chance, give it a listen._

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* * *

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He watched as the leaves arched themselves in ecstasy at the sun's touch. They shivered and shook at the sensation and danced wantonly away from the caress. Still, the sun remained undeterred and reached out with determined resolution, its glow becoming so brilliant that his eyes began to tear at the effect. Feeling inspired by the star's tenacity, he forced his stare steady and witnessed the union, watched in silent awe as the rays spilled around the sides of the leaves and branches and reached benevolently out to him, dazzling, painful, and almost blinding. Dark spots skipped across his vision, and, in silent resignation, he shielded himself from the assault, but he rejoiced as he continued to feel the embrace.

The blanket beneath him was soft and the day's gifts swelled around him: the smell of the raw earth, the tickle of the grass on his bare feet and hands, the sound of birds calling out their love. They filled his senses and his grateful lungs breathed in deeply. His shadow stretched out behind him, refusing to relinquish its hold, but all he could see was the light, enduring and effervescent, protecting him from the darkness.

A hitch in his breath accompanied his acknowledgement of the inevitable end. Soon, this would exist only as a faded memory. He wondered in vain how long he would be able to recall these sensations: a few days, a month, a year? How long until the warmth faded and the smell no longer lingered on his body? How long until he stopped craving it and became reaccustomed to the envelopment of the night?

A breeze washed over him, warm and comforting, and he turned his face toward its cuddle. He took silent inventory of all the things he would miss, attempting desperately to imprint them into his mind.

The smell of the damp Earth in early morning. The flash of color on a bird's wings. The explosion of taste on his tongue from a home-cooked meal. The ache of his stomach after too much laughter. The accompanying beat of his heart. The sun. Sookie.

He felt a stinging dampness behind his closed eyes and almost laughed at the absurdity. Tears for what? Regaining what was so unfairly ripped from him? He should be filled with glee at the idea of his return to power. The sun shifted behind a fluffy, white cloud and he opened his eyes to watch it float back to its rightful position, praying for its return.

* * *

Sookie watched Eric from a back window. He hadn't moved since he had first settled himself on the blanket after Bobby's call, and she wondered what he was thinking. Stretched out so openly, palms upturned and face tilted toward the sun, he looked vulnerable and innocent. She traced his figure through the glass and longed to touch his skin. She wanted to feel his warmth and know that, for this moment at least, he was still here, alive with her. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and protect him. He may try to deny it, but his heart was practically crying out as he lay there. She could almost see the sadness wavering above his body. The look on his face when he admitted to thinking of remaining human was one of bittersweet heartbreak and Sookie tried hopelessly to think of some way to show him that she understood his turmoil, that she cared for him, that he wasn't alone.

It was like she was watching him stand at a crossroads, and she was the only one who knew that the factors influencing his decision did not include his own wishes. The selflessness of his actions tore at her. Although she wished it were not true, she admitted to herself that feelings for Eric had stirred within her for a long time, but getting to know him in this way had yielded an overflow of those emotions. She truly cared for him as a person and a friend. As more than a friend.

She stared at him: this sensitive, caring man who in a short time would resume his mask of coldness and ambivalence, and she felt a tear drip onto her hand. She looked at the moisture in surprise; she hadn't even felt her eyes welling, and she realized that after Eric drank the potion to resume his role as a vampire, she would have no evidence of his stay with her. She had no pictures or proof that what had happened between them, the bond that had grown, the times they had shared, had occurred. She wished feebly for more time, for something tangible that she could hold onto, and she thought her heart literally might break at the realization that these last few days were all they had. It wasn't enough.

* * *

Eric didn't hear Sookie leave the house. He didn't hear her walk across the backyard and he didn't sense her gazing at him from above. It wasn't until her own bare feet brushed against his as she stood between his legs that his eyes opened to reveal her presence. He sat up on his elbows to look at her and their eyes met and held, but neither of them uttered a word.

Silently, she settled herself onto his lap, her dress splaying out around them so that her panties pressed firmly against his jeans. He reached out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and his touch lingered. His eyes searched her face and her lips parted as she realized they were the same crystal shade as the clear sky.

She placed both hands flat on either side of his cheeks and reassured herself with the feel of his skin, the warmth and the slight edge to the start of his stubble. His eyes closed at the pleasure of her ethereal graze and she soaked in the details of his eyelashes and the arch of his lips. She lowered her head and kissed first one cheek then the other. She trailed a string of kisses up his jaw and leaned her face against his, breathing against his ear. They sat like that for a long moment, her arms around his neck and his resting softly on her hips, and then Sookie leaned back to look at him once more.

He tilted his head and smiled at her and her head felt so light that she thought she might float away were it not for his grounding hold. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his, lingering at that feather-light pressure. When she sat back, his eyes drank her in, darkening to a stormy sea of sapphire, but he made no attempt to pull her closer. Finally, she smiled and closed the gap between them, her mouth meeting his in a firm embrace. They kissed, hot and hungry for each other, until they were forced to break away for air, and Sookie bent her head to suck on the sensitive spot where his neck met his collarbone. Eric's head fell back at the sensation and his hands twisted on her lower back, desperate to make contact with her skin.

Sookie ran her hands down his chest to tug at the bottom of his shirt and he obligingly raised his arms to remove the article. Her fingers traced the ridges of his abdomen and she felt his chest vibrate with a low growl. She rose slightly and slipped out of her dress while he wriggled his jeans off. As she settled back on top of him, the revelations of the thin material left between them made her gasp.

Eric took her all in, his eyes trailing over every inch of her, his hands tracing the maps his eyes blazed. His fingers ran up her sides, coming to rest at her bra, undoing the clasp with a single manipulation. Her breasts swung free in the afternoon breeze and Eric leaned closer to latch himself to one. She tugged at his hair and felt her breathing increase in response. Eric switched to her other breast and as her nipples hardened, she ground herself against him, causing him to cry out against her flesh.

His face rose and hers lowered as they nuzzled each other and instinctually sought out the other's lips. Their exchanges were becoming more frantic as she rocked against him, and as their tongues met, he slipped a finger past the barrier of her panties and plunged into her wet folds. Her moan broke the kiss, and she rested her forehead against his. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders as he added a second finger and without thinking, she dropped her head back to his neck, sucking and biting lightly as the feelings washed over her.

He removed his fingers and she watched while he sucked them clean, her taste spilling over his tongue. When she felt like she could take it no longer, she broke away so they could hurriedly remove the thin layers that separated them. His eyes never left hers and she felt the intensity of his stare add to the burning in her lower abdomen. Her hand stroked his face one last time and he licked his lips and inhaled sharply.

"Eric," she said and she lowered herself slowly onto him, feeling him fill her with his hot need. Her walls stretched and flexed to accommodate his size and a strangled noise escaped her as she settled on him fully.

"Eric," she said again and his eyes rolled back at the feel of her, warm and tight around him.

She could feel the boundaries of her barriers breaking away as they connected and her ability to hold up her shields quickly faded. She had tried hard to keep out his thoughts, to give herself this peaceful experience, but the physical sensations were too much for her to focus on her mental abilities and she closed her eyes and prepared herself for the onslaught of Eric's brain.

Her head was back and her eyes snapped open to take in the brilliant blue of the sky stretched above them, as Eric's mind opened to her. But instead of words and concrete thoughts attacking her, colors washed over her, blues and greens and purples and reds, rich and beautiful. Air rushed to her lungs as she saw the colors hum around their entwined bodies, and she let herself be carried away in their hold.

Eric found her nub, and as one hand guided her hips' movements, the other stroked her. She cried out his name as searing pleasure streaked through her and for a moment she left her body, floating in glorious bliss.

She collapsed against him and he stroked her back softly. After a few moments, he flipped them gently so that she lay under him, and she groaned in satisfaction as he filled her once more. He withdrew and hovered above her, watching her with eyes full of emotion. His kiss was tender and warm and when he thrust into her again he whimpered and dropped his head to her shoulder.

"Sookie," he murmured and the wonder in his voice brought tears to her eyes.

He found a rhythm and Sookie's body sprang back to life as she felt him hit her spot over and over. Her hands roamed his body and his wet kisses and tongue stroked her.

The sun was strong on his back and Sookie's body was soft and yielding beneath him and he could feel himself rapidly loosing control. Their bodies moved as one and he longed to lose himself in this connection with her. The sound of her soft cries and the brush of her lips against his shoulder fueled his lust. He had never felt such unity with a mate and as her arms clutched him, he felt a safety in her hold. When their lips connected, he could sense her cleansing him, healing his cracks and insecurities. _'So this is what it feels like to be whole.'_

Her body glowed in the sunlight and he stared down at her in reverence as she writhed beneath him. She was beautiful. The wind swirled around them, drying the sweat that was gathering on his forearms and back, and his body rejoiced at the coupled heat of her grasp and the sun's rays.

Her walls began to tighten and flutter around him and he sped up his hips, feeling his own moment approaching and wanting to bury himself inside of her, to rebuild himself in her love. She screamed his name and dug her hands into his flesh, driving him deeper. As she came undone beneath him, an explosion went off behind his eyes so that all he could see was white-hot light.

"Sookie!" He yelled and plunged into her again and again, rapture overtaking him.

It was the feel of her body that brought him back to Earth, and he gazed down at her radiant form, his own body trembling. He propped himself on an elbow and used his other hand to brush aside strands of her damp blonde hair. She blinked up at him through sated and caring eyes, and he felt a rush of emotion fill him.

"Sookie," he whispered softly, and leaned down to kiss her lips, her cheek, her temple. He withdrew from her and they both sighed at the loss. Stretching himself next to her on the blanket, he looked up at the sky in astonishment. He had fantasized about their union for so long, but never had he thought it would feel like this, that it would have this effect on him.

Sookie snuggled up against his chest, draping an arm over his stomach. He wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer and their legs tangled comfortably. He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek against the soft hairs, smelling her shampoo. "Sookie," he said again as if he could not believe he held her in his arms.

She murmured his name sleepily and nuzzled against him. He felt his own exhaustion consuming him as he heard her breath deepen into slumber. The trees in her backyard sheltered them and the sun glowed happily down on their naked bodies and Eric felt as if all of nature was celebrating their consummation.

Sookie mumbled in her sleep and he stroked her arm sweetly. "Sookie," he whispered again, knowing she wouldn't hear him, but needing to say her name aloud once again. Their bodies molded perfectly together and he could feel contentment expanding in his chest. His eyes grew heavy and he could not recall a time when he had felt this peaceful.

Still, he lay awake in the sunshine, listening to the rustle of the leaves and the chirping of the birds, feeling the warmth of her sun-kissed body against his and the tickle of her breath against his chest. He held her for hours, staring up at the sky and refusing to miss a moment of this life.


	13. Chapter 13

The pillow couldn't muffle Sookie's roar of laughter as she buried her face and clutched at the tangled sheets around her. She kicked her leg against the bed in glee and shook her head from side to side. She felt his hands trail up her body, tracing the curve of her hip to tickle her bare rip cage and she shrieked and turned to face him.

He was propped up on his elbow, grinning at her, and her laughter finally quelled as she took in his naked form and rumpled hair.

"Well," she said, sitting up and crossing her legs, feeling strangely unselfconscious about her vulnerable exposure. "If you don't approve of that power, how about flight?"

Eric crinkled his nose critically. "Flight's not a superpower."

"Yes it is," Sookie protested and pushed against his shoulder. "I would be a superhero if I could fly!"

"I could fly," he said wryly. "Does that make me a superhero?"

"You also had super speed, strength, and eternal life," she teased. "So Superman, what would you pick if you could have any power?"

He tapped his chin thoughtfully and she snorted. "How about," he grinned wickedly at her. "X-ray vision?"

"Mmhm. That way you can see all your dayman Bobby has to offer when you're around him. Hot stuff." She wiggled her eyebrows and he laughed.

"How about telepathy then? That would be useful for me."

"More like a curse."

"A curse?" He stroked her leg absently.

"That's what it's been for me. Imagine going through your whole life hearing everything other people were thinking about you. Even if you think you're perfect," she tugged at his hand playfully. "There are bound to be other people who don't. They'll think about how you're stupid or ugly or crazy and it will eat away at you until you're not sure where their thoughts end and yours begin. Or you'll hear the awful, dirty things they want to do to you," her voice was soft and her eyes unfocused. "Or to someone else and you never know if they're really going to try these sick things or not. People's minds are scary, private places where they think things that are too depraved to say aloud. Telepathy lets you hear everything you'd never want to and what you find out, it will haunt you in your dreams."

Eric's fingers twined with hers. "I am sorry that you've suffered so."

She smiled at an attempt of indifference. "You get used to it."

His eyes studied her for another moment, taking in her sadness. "You could try reading my mind again," he suggested, watching her face for any hint of a smile. "I promise I don't think bad thoughts about you, or at least not bad in a bad way."

Sookie laughed and sprawled out next to him. She traced her fingertip across his stomach, feeling the muscles jump and contract at her ministrations. "Your thoughts are different," she said finally.

"Different?" He brushed her hair off her shoulder. "Different how?"

"Well," she responded slowly. "Usually they're like everyone else's. Like now, if I lower my guards I can hear what you're thinking," she grinned at him as she read his mind and he grinned back. "But," she continued, wiggling away from his suggestive touch. "When you get passionate about something, when you have a lot of emotions, I can see them."

"See what?"

"You're emotions. I can literally see them, Eric. It's not like anything I've ever experienced. It's like your feelings consume you and they reach out to me, I can feel them. It's…it's amazing."

Eric was silent for a minute and then asked, "They don't hurt you? Overwhelm you?"

"No," she said quickly. "Well maybe a little overwhelming, but in a _good_ way. In a, 'there's no need for rational thought right now' way." She smiled shyly at him. "I like it."

They sat quietly and held each other for a while, the quiet and still of the atmosphere settling comfortably over them. After a while, Sookie said, "we should get up. We've been in bed for way too long."

She reached over to her nightstand to grasp at her clock and knocked over a book that she had been reading. She contorted her body to half slide off the bed and reach for it. Eric watched her appreciatively and she did an exaggerated bow when she righted herself.

"Okay," she said. "Ready to get up?"

"What's this?" He took the book from her hand as an obvious attempt to distract her. "Is this the book you were reading yesterday?"

"Yes," she sighed.

"What's it about?"

"Oh, you know, it's pretty typical. This man, Tristan, is in love with Esmeralda, but Esmeralda is bound by family ties to another man." Sookie's voice sped up as she recounted the tale. "You see, Tristan is the better man, but he doesn't have money like the Duke, that's the man Esmeralda is promised to, and so her father won't allow her to be with Tristan, even though she really adores him. But then, this evil man kidnaps Esmeralda for himself and the Duke isn't brave enough to go after her! So Tristan, he takes this journey across a desert to find her and save her even though he knows he can never be with her. He ends up killing the man who took her, but he dies in the process."

Eric blinked at her. "That is the most ridiculous plot I have ever heard."

"What? No, it's romantic!"

Eric tossed the book back onto the table. "It sounds stupid and illogical."

Sookie laughed. "Oh, Eric. Love makes you do stupid things." She patted his arm and made a move to stand. "Now come on."

"No," Eric protested and wrapped a firm hand around her waist. "We haven't been here long enough. Stay with me."

"But I'm hungry!" She picked up each one of his fingers on her skin individually. "We have to eat. We can't just stay in bed forever. Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes," he pouted then smiled. "But for something sweet."

"Sweet?"

"Yes, like fruit or," his eyes lit up. "Ice cream!"

"Ice cream?" Sookie snorted. "We can't have ice cream for breakfast." He stared at her unblinkingly and her eyes widened. "We can't," she insisted again. "It's too…naughty."

"After everything we've done together, I would think you'd have a much more advanced concept of what being naughty really looks like." She blushed. "Come on, Sookie. Live a little." He rose from the bed and walked naked to the door while Sookie unabashedly enjoyed the view. "I'll be right back," he turned to face her in the doorway and smirked. "Don't you go anywhere."

* * *

He returned with some strawberries and a pint of ice cream tucked under his arm. "Out of the carton," Sookie squeaked and Eric wiggled his eyebrows at her and climbed back onto the bed.

"Time to walk on the wild side, Sookie." He handed her a spoon and watched while she gleefully dug in. She closed her eyes in pure bliss.

"Mm. Now this is breakfast." Her eyes focused on him as he nibbled a strawberry. "To think, you're a novice at this whole human thing and you already have this figured out."

He chuckled and let a scoop of ice cream melt on his tongue. "What can I say? I'm good at being bad."

Feeling overcome by the delicious combination of ice cream and his company, Sookie leaned over and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Eric dropped his spoon in the container so that he could weave his hand through her hair and deepen the kiss. Her tongue was cold against his and he moaned into the embrace. _'So perfect.'_ Hearing his thought, Sookie pulled away self-consciously.

"What's wrong?" He was panting slightly.

"Nothing, it's just," she put the ice cream and bowl of strawberries onto her nightstand. A glob of milk ran down the side of the container and spilled onto her book. "I know that you've been with hundreds of women. Thousands maybe." She twisted her hands. "I know I can't possibly compare." Embarrassment reddened her cheeks.

Her confession hung heavy in the air and she looked down in shame.

"Sookie," very gently, he lifted her chin. His eyes, more green than blue at the moment, regarded her tenderly. "You are perfect. I could not imagine there ever existing anyone greater than you. Anyone that could make me feel half as good." He kissed her then, softly and delicately, as if she were a fragile treasure he was afraid to break.

"Eric," she whispered and her throat was tight. She buried her head in his neck and wrapped her arms around him.

His lips were pressed against her ear and his heartbeat thumped against her cheek. Yearning to feel more of him, she shifted and touched her lips to his, their tongues dancing with each other. One of Eric's hands cradled the back of her head and neck and the other slipped down her side as the pressure of his body dipped her back. He hovered over her when she made contact with the mattress and she smiled against his lips as he took control.

He sucked her bottom lip and she arched herself against him as his teeth scraped with just enough pressure to sting. His mouth seemed to be everywhere as he kissed along her neck and down to her breasts.

"Eric," she said again as his tongue dipped around her belly button. He took the time to worship every inch of her until she was whimpering and writhing beneath him, then he grazed her lips one more time and slid down her body.

He nudged her thighs open and she gasped when he put his mouth on her. Her fingers tugged on his hair and he placed a hand on her wriggling hips to steady her.

"Oh," she panted. "Oh, please… don't… don't stop."

His tongue lapped at her honey and when she looked down at him, his eyes were on her, dark with desire, watching her come undone. She felt she had never seen something so erotic.

He moved his mouth to her clit, swirling around the sensitive nub as he slid a finger into her dripping sex.

"Oh, God." His mind was open to her again, the colors charging the space around her: a deep pink, the edges tinged with lavender and streaked with yellow. She felt as though his emotions were lifting her from the bed, nuzzling her and wrapping themselves around her.

"Ugh," she threw her head back at the sensations consuming her. "I can feel you," she sobbed. "Eric, I can feel you!"

His fingers curled deep within her and his teeth skimmed over her tender flesh. She fell apart, wailing and clutching at anything within reach, her hips rising off the bed with her spasms.

Her senses tingled as she began to recover from her high, and he soothingly caressed her oversensitive body until her breathing began to slow. He trailed soft kisses up her body until he was pressed against her.

"So beautiful," he purred and when his lips met hers, she could taste herself on his tongue. A guttural moan escaped her lips and she marveled at the fact that such a wanton noise could emerge from within her.

She was ready for him, and he slid into her with a groan of his own. He remained still within her, her walls clinging to him like a glove. He withdrew and thrust back in and a chill swept through her body at his cry.

"So beautiful," he repeated in a husky voice. "So perfect."

After another moment, he began to find a rhythm and Sookie clung to him as if he were her lifeline. The way he continuously murmured her name and gazed at her set her aflame and she felt herself rapidly losing control.

Her walls began to clench around him and he cried out in a language she didn't know and shuddered against her. She rubbed his trembling back and whispered in his ear as he rested against her.

He regained his breath and rested next to her. She lay on her stomach and placed an arm on his abdomen.

"What?" She asked when he muttered something.

"Nothing, I was just…I was just thinking about Shakespeare again."

"Again," she smiled and rested her chin on her arm. "I never realized you were such a fan."

"I wasn't really," he looked down at her as she lounged on his abs. "But I think I'm beginning to understand him better." She gave him a questioning look and he continued, "Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb," his voice held a hint of a time and place far away and she watched him in awe. "Juliet is Romeo's sun," he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "Just as you are mine."

Sookie placed her cheek against his hot skin and let herself be lulled into a dreamy state as her head rose and fell with the rhythm of his breathing. She reflected on the fact that a few months ago she would have been in bed with Bill, refusing to go anywhere near Eric romantically. Despite her attraction to the blond vampire, she had been so certain that he was evil that she convinced herself not to trust him. Bile had risen in the back of her throat at the thought of him.

Now look at them. She couldn't remember ever feeling so content with another man. Being able to truly be herself with someone and feel loved and accepted in return for her honesty. This was a gift that few people ever got the opportunity to experience.

She flirted with the idea of bringing all of this up to Eric; laughing with him over their previous tiffs and her avoidance of him. She wondered if she should mention his choice to become vampire again. Now that things had obviously changed between them, they should at least figure out what was going to be happening to them, prepare themselves for what was to come, discuss options. She wanted to know where she would fit in his world, whether it was a human or a vampire life.

Eric picked up her hand and she turned to look up at him as he slowly kissed each pad of her fingers. The tenderness of his actions swelled inside her chest and in that moment she decided not to say anything to him, at least not now. She would allow them at least one perfect day together; they both deserved that.

She snuggled against his chest and he kissed the palm of her hand one last time before tucking it against his chest, their hands intertwined right over his beating heart.


	14. Chapter 14

_I'm really sorry this took so long. A ton has been going on in my life personally and at work, so it's been hard to get a chance to write and I've kind of lost my muse when it comes to this story. I have the rest planned out, but actually writing it has been difficult lately. Your encouragement really helps! Thanks for sticking with me, you guys are the main reason I'm still writing this! -R_

* * *

It was Eric who broke the spell.

"Will you still be with me," he asked and although she could not see his face, she could detect the uncertainty in his voice. "When I return to being vampire?"

Her first instinct was to immediately tell him yes, to espouse his fears and comfort him, but she knew it was a serious question and she respected him enough to provide him with a serious answer. Tense moments stretched by as she pondered her response and he held her against him, despising his growing anxiety and vulnerability.

"Yes," she said finally. "Yes. You know I don't agree with everything you do as a vampire, but I can acknowledge that I don't understand all the complications of that life. And I feel…an undeniable connection to you. I don't want to give up on that, on us and what we could be, just because you're undead."

She felt him nod against her hair and they were quiet. Sookie traced a pattern on his bare chest.

"But will you still be with me as a vampire, Eric," she asked.

"Of course," he said quickly. "You know I have wanted that for a long time. You will be mine."

The silence enveloped them again, but the peaceful atmosphere of before was absent. Eric felt as though he were drowning in his thoughts. He reflected on the demands of his work: the fangbangers who his club required he appease, the vicious deeds he performed that Sookie would never approve of, the vampire politics to which he must yield, he shuddered at the thought of what the Authority would do with Sookie if they learned of her power. He thought also of the expectations of a vampire being unconnected to humans, the way he would lose authority if others sensed he was going soft, his own scorn of Bill when he showed love toward the woman, and the danger he would put Sookie in if other's believed he loved her. He pictured Sookie growing old and dying, feeling her warm body grow cold and her golden hair turn gray, her joints stiffening and freezing up until all of the life she sparkled with was gone.

He realized with a pang that they could never be like this if he went back to being a vampire. They would never spend lazy afternoons in bed eating ice cream and laughing together. He knew that before this event it never would have mattered to him that he could only see Sookie at night, that he would miss most of her time awake, and the requirements of the supernatural world would distract him during what time he did have with her. Before, that would have just been a fact, a minor blip on his radar of things to be concerned about, but something was different now that he was a human. As much as he had drilled into himself that he wouldn't change, he had. Something had shifted and he was glad that it had, and he would lose it when he became a vampire again. The life that he had caught a glimpse of would be forever taken away at his own hand.

"Maybe," he said slowly. "Maybe it doesn't have to be like that."

Sookie stilled against him. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe I could stay this way."

Sookie rose on her arms to peer at his thoughtful face while he lounged against her pillows. "Stay human?"

"Yes."

"Forever?"

"Yes."

"Not become a vampire again?"

"Right."

She almost smiled at his simple answers, but the serious look on his face stopped her. "You're not joking."

"No, I am not." Her stunned silence frustrated him. "You are the one who told me to listen to my inner desires, to give myself the chance to consider this life."

"I know! It's just…what would you do?"

He shrugged. "Isn't that the beauty of the human life? I could do whatever I wanted. I have money, I wouldn't need to work. Or, I could go back to school. I could stay with you, Sookie. We could build a life together, a human life that neither of us has had the opportunity to have: marriage, careers, _children_."

Sookie's laugh sounded a little hysterical even to her ears. "Children?" She echoed.

"Yes, children! Many of them. We could have boys and girls walking and crawling and laughing and crying all over each other. We could have a house full of love."

"What would our children be like with a mother who is a crazy telepath and a father who is over a thousand years old and used to be a vampire?"

"They would be perfect." He sat up and pulled her against him so that her back rested against his chest. "They would be talented and brave and smart. We have much we could teach them. I could teach them history and how to fight and hunt and think things through and you could show them to be kind and loyal and hardworking. We would be good parents together. Our children would be happy."

Sookie smiled at the image of blond, blue eyed miniature Erics running around. For a second she allowed herself to imagine that this could be a possibility. Then, she pushed away from him so their eyes met.

"I just," she said softly. "I'm not quite sure I understand this sudden change of heart here, Eric. I mean, I know you were thinking about it, but the sudden certainty that you could stay human is a little odd."

"There are complications," he let the word hang in the air and Sookie felt a chill as it settled over them. "There are those in this world who would take great joy in seeing me suffer, in seeing me die. They would put you and me in great danger and in human form I would not be as able to protect us."

"What would we do?" Her whisper caught in her throat.

"We could run."

"Run? Eric, since when do you run from anything? You're the most impossibly stubborn and macho guy I've ever met."

"Some things have to be sacrificed if this is the life I will choose. It will be difficult, Sookie. For a long time we will always have to look over our shoulders, we will always be on the move. The fact that I have money and a certain few I trust will aid us, but it will be a risk."

"Eric…"

"Would you accept such a life, Sookie?"

"Eric…"

"Would you?"

If she reached out, she could touch the warmth of his skin, count the beats of his heart.

"But what about," she said softly. "All that you would lose? I want you, Eric. I want you to be happy with me. You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are to be with me. I know I've been pressuring you and I want you, God knows I want you, to stay human, but don't let this be another sacrifice. Do what you want and I'll be here with you no matter what. Don't worry about what I want. I can," she faltered. "I can adjust to cold skin and long nights as long as you're still _you_. Don't lose yourself. Don't give up all that matters to you."

"You matter to me."

When she closed her eyes, a tear slipped down her cheek and he brushed it away with the pad of his thumb.

"I will gain more than I will lose and I couldn't lose myself if I stayed with you." His eyes tugged at her, and pulled her in. "I found myself with you; the part of me that I thought was gone forever you brought back to life. What I want it this: me and you…together."

Her lips smashed against his and she threw her arms around his neck. When they broke apart for air, her cheek rested against his and her eyes stared blindly at her white-washed wallpaper. His chest heaved against hers and their hearts clashed against each other, battling, sidestepping, until finally they met and found a rhythm, beating as one.

* * *

The rap on the door was not loud enough to rouse Sookie from her slumber, but Eric shot up at the noise. Gazing at the sleeping form beside him, he tenderly brushed some hair off of her forehead. Sookie snuggled deeper against her pillows at his touch and Eric smiled. A second impatient knock sent him hurrying to the door before Sookie's sleep was disturbed.

Pam's annoyed face appeared as he swung the door open.

"What were you doing?" She stomped into the house. "I've been waiting out there for ages!"

Eric put a finger to his lips urgently and Pam blinked at him. "Are you shushing me?"

"Sookie is sleeping," he looked down sheepishly. "It will be easier if she is not here for this meeting."

Amusement and concern flittered across Pam's face in equal amounts. "Eric…" she began, but he held up a hand to silence her.

"What news do you bring?"

She pulled a small vile from her purse. Thick, black liquid swirled dangerously in the container and Eric stared at it for a moment.

"You expect me to drink that?"

"No!" Pam smirked at him. "First you have to add three pieces of hair and let it sit for at least a day. _Then_ you drink it." He rolled his eyes at her joke and took the potion from her. It bubbled unnaturally warm in his hand. When he glanced up from studying it, Pam was glowering at him expectantly. When he met her gaze but made no move to pluck any hairs, she hesitated.

"Are you okay, Eric?" She took a step toward him and her voice was uncharacteristically serious. "You seem different. This human experience hasn't-"

"No," Eric snapped harshly. "Forgive me if I am suspicious of a potion made by my enemies."

"You're afraid?"

"No." His look was severe and she backed up a step. "I am cautious."

"The potion has been guaranteed. They know their only hope to live is that you will be transformed back to your rightful state. We also had another witch supervise and she assures us the process was legitimate."

Eric glanced at the vile with distaste.

"So," Pam urged and Eric's jaw clenched as he ripped the hairs from his head. They both watched as the blond strands flittered into the liquid. "Excellent." Pam beamed at him. "Now we can go."

"Go?"

"Yes, you can drink the potion tomorrow night and I assure you I can keep you safe for a night, especially with the witch and Yvetta in captivity."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

Eric glared at her. "I mean what I said, Pam. I am not leaving this house tonight."

"But Eric-"

"I have made a promise to Sookie and I will remain until it has been fulfilled."

"But you'll risk your life by doing this!" When he made no move she raised her voice. "Come back with me tonight, take the potion tomorrow, and then, if you must, come back and help her find her foolish sibling."

"There is no time for that. Her brother is in grave danger. I need to be able to walk around in the day and find him immediately."

Pam studied him long and hard.

"You are planning to come back, aren't you Eric?"

"Of course!" His voice was gruff and angry. He shook the vile to showcase the dissolving hairs to her. The potion began to shift to a deep shade of crimson. "I will do what I have to do. I will do what is right."

Pam's eyes searched his face and he looked away from her. "Then," she said finally. "I will be waiting for you."

* * *

Eric watched her leave silently until she melted into the night. He shut the door firmly and walked back to Sookie's room. Glancing to make sure she was still sleeping, he tucked the potion deep into his bag so it was hidden from sight. Then, without a second glance, he climbed back into bed, wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in her neck. Neither lover stirred for a long time.


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks for sticking with me guys! Everything should be settling down for me in about a week so then we can really get cracking on this story. To answer a question I've been getting a lot, I combine elements of the books and the show when writing this. I always picture Askars and the events that happened between Sookie and Eric in season three, but I also have in mind the tenderness Eric has in the books and I tend to ignore certain crazy plot points (like Sam's crazy spiral into madness and Bill's fight with the Queen, etc) that I just don't feel like dealing with. :) Please keep the feedback coming, the story is about to start moving! -R_

* * *

The darkness outside made Sookie dizzy. She had woken up feeling so rested that she was certain it must be midday. Looking out her window and seeing something as unexpected as the blackness of night sent her mind spiraling. As if everything she knew to be true was false; as if she couldn't count on anything, not even the sun, not even herself.

When she was younger, she had suffered from this recurring nightmare. It was after everything had happened with Uncle Bartlett, after the shame and fear had twined in her veins. It wasn't about the abuse or the man, and that was something that always puzzled Sookie as she got older. She had never dreamed about the actual events. The dream went something like this: she was wandering through the house and all the rooms were empty. Everything looked the same, but she knew something was wrong because the smell was off. She remembered the first time she had gone to a friend's house and realized the smell of a life envelopes a house and makes it a home. Their smell, she knew, mostly came from Gran. Like cinnamon and citrus and a dash of powder. So in her dream, when the house smelled like nothing, she knew she was in trouble. She went from room to room searching, but no one was there. Finally, she crouched in the corner of her room and placed her hands over her ears to block out the shrieking silence. Around the house, the lights began to switch off, one after another, until she was left completely alone in the darkness. She woke up screaming every time.

She pulled on a sweater to vanquish the chill settling over her. Fear of the dark hadn't plagued her for years and she mentally chided herself at her foolishness. After all, in the last year she had come alive at night; the only two lovers she had ever been with required the shadows. She took in the sheet tangled around Eric's waist, his arm flung over his eyes as if even the moonlight streaming in the window was too much for him. She drew the curtain and walked to the front porch.

The crispness of the air stole her breath and she closed her eyes before forcing herself to step into its icy fingers. She walked down the steps and stood on the lawn. She wanted to face the darkness; she didn't want to be afraid anymore.

"Sookie."

She yelped and scanned the yard for the owner of the voice.

"I am sorry to have frightened you." Bill revealed himself and Sookie put a hand on her thundering heart.

"Bill, my God! What are you doing out here?"

"I was checking on you." He took a step forward and Sookie felt a shiver at the sight of his fangs. They hung so low and sharp that a droplet of blood sprang forth on his lip.

"Is something wrong?" Bill cocked his head at the tremor in her voice.

"I have missed you." He raised his head and sniffed. "Yet alas it seems that you have not missed me."

She faltered. "Bill?"

In a flash he was in front of her, so that she stumbled back and tripped on the stairs. He grabbed her before she could fall and pulled her so that their faces were inches apart. His eyes glowed with rage and her arms ached in his hold.

"What have you been doing?" He growled.

Anger bubbled in her chest. "Let go of me!" She wrenched herself free. "What do you think you're doing? You have no right, Bill Compton-"

She gasped as he grabbed her again, pulling her body so it was flush against his.

"I can smell him all over you," he hissed. "Playing the harlot now?" He shook her so hard her teeth rattled. Sookie had never seen Bill so out of control before and she felt her blood run cold. In this moment, he didn't even look like the man she had loved; he looked like a monster; he looked like a vampire.

"I always thought so much of you. I always sacrificed so much for you and look what you've become: one of Eric's whores!" As he snarled at her, she thought for sure his vice-like grip would break through her flesh.

"Bill, please," she whimpered and his eyes dropped down to follow the trajectory of her tears.

"I should have known it would be too much for you," his voice was almost a whisper now, but for some reason his sudden restraint of fury frightened her more. "I should have known this world would corrupt you."

"Bill…"

"I only wanted to save you, but you pushed me away. You pushed me away and now you've ruined EVERYTHING." She shut her eyes at his scream and prepared herself for the worst.

* * *

"Let her go." The softness of the command was what caught their attention. They both turned to gape at Eric in the doorway. Sookie could see the goosebumps sprinkled across his bare chest, and his toes peeking out from under his sweatpants, remaining firmly inside the threshold.

"You must feel very smug," Bill sneered. "You've finally laid your claim to her."

As if she were witnessing from afar, Sookie watched as Eric slowly walked onto the porch.

"Let," he said again. "Sookie go."

As if Eric had pushed a button, Bill released her. She pitched backwards and looked up at the dark vampire. His head was tilted and he was staring hard at Eric with a look of complete incredulity on his face.

"What is this?" He asked sharply.

Eric crept over to her, keeping his movements slow and deliberate.

"You don't want to hurt Sookie, Bill," he said softly. He reached her and gently took her elbow, guiding her behind him and edging them both back toward the house. "You love Sookie. Calm down and think about what you're doing. You're frightening her."

Bill's eyes had a deadly glint as he took in Eric's warm flesh, his staggered breaths. Sookie wondered if he could smell the blood and life pumping through Eric's body.

"Eric," he said and when he smiled, it chilled Sookie to the bone.

"Go home," Eric commanded and though his voice sounded impervious, Sookie could sense his concern as he began to back her up faster. "Leave us alone, Bill. You don't want anyone to get hurt. You don't want to do something you'll regret."

Bill watched as they stumbled into the house, but he remained silent as the door closed behind them. Eric stared through the peephole at the yard and Sookie found that she could finally speak again.

"Is he gone?" She rubbed her arms to try to help them regain sensation.

At the sound of her voice, Eric whirled around and swooped her into his arms. "What were you thinking? You should not have gone outside alone like that. You know there are those who wish to hurt us. You know the nighttime is dangerous. You know I cannot protect you as I once did. You could have been hurt. You could have been killed!" He sounded angry, but his hands stroked her face, her hair, her arms. His lips followed the path, kissing her all over and searching for wounds, attempting to heal hurts.

"I know, I know. I wasn't thinking."

"Are you okay?" She nodded and promptly began to cry and he enfolded her into his embrace. He murmured softly to her as she sobbed.

"I've never seen him like that," she wailed. "He was crazy. I've put us in danger. Oh God, I'm so sorry, Eric!"

"It's okay, Sookie. Shh, it's okay." He kissed the top of her head. "He was heated and irrational. He will calm down. He does not wish to hurt you."

"But you…Eric," she pulled back to stare up at him. "Did you see the way he looked at you? He knows you're human now and he wants you dead."

Eric smiled wryly at her. "Yes, well, he's wanted that for quite some time. He'll have to be a bit more patient. His invitation is rescinded and he will not do something to jeopardize your safety."

"I don't know, he seemed pretty mad at me..."

"He still cares for you. He is calmer now and will want to protect you from harm."

Sookie swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "But what about you?"

"He'll try to kill me." Sookie sucked in a breath at his matter-of-fact statement. "But we will leave tomorrow morning to find your brother. He will not track us, he will take time to think about his new knowledge and formulate a plan. Now we must focus on your brother."

"Jason," she said slowly.

"Yes."

"But, Eric-"

"Sookie?"

"Yes?"

"Trust me."

She looked at him and took in his half-naked form and sleep rumpled hair. She thought of the way he had looked as he stepped onto the porch and abandoned the safety of the house.

"I trust you."

* * *

They left early because neither of them could sleep. The drive took most of the day and Sookie was surprised by the casual feel of it. With the wind slapping at their hair and rustling their bags in the back, it felt like they were headed off on vacation. They talked about a movie they had seen recently and Eric held her hand as he drove. Sookie studied the way his fingers twined with her much smaller digits. She traced the veins mapping his skin and she thought about how much was not being said; about the dark cloud that she knew was following them, waiting to open up and pour their demons back on their running forms.

They stayed at the nicest hotel in the town, which wasn't saying much. Half the letters in the blinking neon sign were burnt out and the receptionist, a balding woman in her mid-seventies, never uttered a word as they checked in. Eric shoved his shoulder against the door twice before it snapped open to reveal the checker-patterned bed and shag carpet.

Sookie stepped around Eric as he placed their bags on the floor. "You take me to the nicest places," she gushed.

He grinned at her. "Only the best for you, my dear." He glanced around the tiny room. "It appears Felton does not arrange meetings in the most glamorous towns."

"Yeah, well," she collapsed on the bed, testing its softness. "He is from Hotshot."

He lay next to her on the bed without touching.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm still full from when we stopped."

"We should probably sleep. We'll need to be rested for tomorrow."

She turned to look at him. "Yeah, you're right."

Their union was rough and intense; both of them expressing their emotions physically. His body dominated her and her fingers dug at his flesh, taking everything he gave, wanting more. They came together and lay panting against each other.

"Eric, did you mean what you said before?"

He didn't pretend not to know what she meant. "Yes. I meant it."

"Everything?" She sat up on her elbow. "Staying human, staying with me?"

"Everything." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I want to build a life with you. I want to have babies with you."

"Eric, listen. Cards on the table here. You know I care for you and I want to be with you. If that means being with you as a vampire, then I will. I'm in. But please, don't make me any promises you don't intend to keep. I can deal with you not wanting to stay human; I understand. But I can't deal with planning this life with you and then losing it before it's ever had a chance to blossom. Just be truthful with me, please."

"Sookie," he placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her forehead tenderly. "I know the risks and dangers better than anyone. I know what I will lose and what I will gain. Our life will be difficult for a long time, but I also know that the benefits outweigh everything else. I want to be with you. Look," he detangled himself from her and walked to his bag.

He dug around as she watched him curiously. Finally, he revealed a vile with swirling scarlet liquid. "Pam dropped this off. It is the potion that would restore me to Vampire. I could take it now and end all of this." Sookie's eyes never left his. "But I refuse to take it. Pam will meet us tomorrow night when she awakens to help us with your brother. Then, I will return this potion so she can safely dispose of it forever." He tossed the vile back on his bag and climbed onto the bed.

"You were right before when you said I make too many self-sacrificing decisions. I'm tired of being rational and always putting others first. I want to be human. I _want," _his voice broke and he looked down. "I want to be human. And I want to be with you. And I don't care about the consequences. We can make it work. I want this more than I've ever wanted anything and I would never recover, never forgive myself, if I took it away to fulfill obligations for a life I no longer want." He looked at her and her eyes teared up at the emotions straining his voice and painting his face. "I promise you this is what I want and this is what I will do. I will put myself first in this case, so I can put you first for the rest of my human life."

She kissed him then and he let her pull him down onto the mattress. This time their lovemaking was slow and gentle. They savored every moment and made sure to kiss every spot, each hoping to bring the other as much pleasure as possible. They explored each other and whispered affectionately until the early morning hours; each excited at this start of their new lives together.


	16. Chapter 16

The liquid stained the surface as it spread, slowly oozing away from the broken victim. It covered his fingers and she watched in morbid fascination while he sucked them clean.

"What?"

She tossed a napkin at him. "That's gross, Eric."

"What?" He grinned at her and wiped his dirty fingers, then dipped his toast in the yoke. "I like my eggs runny like this."

"Okay, but you don't have to lap at it like a kitten."

The waitress strolled over to their booth and refilled their mugs. Sookie grasped her cup and breathed in the steam greedily.

"Thank God this place still serves breakfast at noon." Eric grunted his agreement and Sookie watched as a family was seated in the booth behind him. Promptly, a little tow-headed boy popped up and began playing with racecars on the partition between him and Eric. His blurping and growling filled the quiet restaurant as his parents debated what to order. Making a sharp turn, one of the cars slipped down and fell on the seat next to Eric. Sookie took in the scene as Eric picked the matchbox toy up and turned to the boy. The child's eyes were wide with apprehension and Eric placed the car back on the partition. Slowly, he placed his index finger on the hood and, with a loud screech that made Sookie jump, he plowed his car into the boy's. The boy howled appreciatively and flipped his car over in an epic explosion, complete with sound effects.

"Zack!" The boy's parents looked mildly horrified. "Sit down!" The mother looked at Eric. "I'm so sorry he disturbed you."

"It's no problem," Eric smiled at the boy and Zack smiled shyly back at him before settling in his seat.

Eric went back to eating his eggs, but Sookie could not pull her eyes away from the boy. He was so full of life, so happy and energetic, and as he giggled and jumped around, tossing his blond head from side to side, she couldn't help but imagine that one day she and Eric could have that family's life.

Eric hummed a little under his breath as he poured syrup over his pancakes and Sookie marveled at how far they had come.

"What?" he asked again, feeling her eyes on him.

"Nothing. I'm just," she sighed. "I'm just thinking…wondering…" He looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. "Is it right for us to be this happy? I feel like we'll be punished for it."

"You think your God will punish us for happiness?"

"Not God, something else." She rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes. "We've both seen so much, and done so much. I'm not sure we're meant to feel this way. That family over there? They don't have much money. The parents' brains are buzzing with that worry. But they have love and it keeps their child safe." She met his eyes. "What will keep our children safe?"

"You are afraid my past will come back to haunt us."

"Both of our pasts. I've killed a man. I've done things, horrible things and you…" she trailed off. "What if all this running and fighting changes who we are? What if we lose ourselves in this? What if after everything, we can't succeed?"

Eric placed his fork down on his plate. "When I was young my mother would tell me a story before we men went out hunting, even after I was too old, even when my father decreed it ridiculous and told her to stop, she always told it."

His blue eyes grew unfocused as he looked into the distance.

"There once was a man who searched always for the way to the gods. He knew that the gods watched over all Their people and judged them, waiting for those who were worthy to join Them in Their rankings. The man became a fearsome warrior, killing all who opposed him. He built houses for his people and became their leader. His people were never hungry and their fields yielded many crops. He was the perfect leader and all among him were awed. But still, the gods did not touch him.

"The man grew frustrated. He conquered other villages and built shrines to prove his worth. He went on lone quests into the wilderness to display his dedication, but still, the gods were not impressed."

"One day a crazed man came to his village lusting for the leader's blood. The man was pleased because he thought that this could be his ultimate test: if he killed this man, the gods could no longer ignore his nobility. Before he could act, however, the outsider grabbed the man's son and held a knife to the boy's throat. The man knew that he could beat the stranger in a battle, but his son would be killed in the fray. He knew that the gods loved revenge and would delight in him killing his boy's murderer. He knew these things, but still he dropped his spear and spread his arms wide knowing that the stranger truly wanted his heart and not the child's. As his spirit left his body, the gods guided him to Their palace in the sky and breathed life into him. They honored him, for in his death he showcased pure love and sacrifice, traits beyond that of a mere human."

Sookie took his hand. "That's beautiful," she paused. "But what does it mean? It means we'll die for our kids and that will keep them safe? Not a very reassuring moral there."

Eric laughed.

"It means that love is most important. My father did not believe that, but my mother taught me it. I forgot for a time but you have revived it in my soul. Those who know love and share their love will always beat those who know only hate, as our enemies do."

"You sound awfully confident."

He grinned and wagged a finger at her. "Listen to me, I am your elder."

"Listen old man-"

Her words caught in her throat as he grabbed her hand across the table and slipped a cool, silver ring onto her finger. She stared in astonishment at the jewelry, and then looked back at him.

"This is my promise to you," his voice was deep and low, with all traces of humor vanished. "Just as the circle of this band never ends, so my love for you remains eternal. I will love you until I die and I will protect you and our children. There are those out there who do not understand our bond, and who wish to end our union and break our spirits. Do not fear the darkness; our love will conquer those who wish to kill it."

The ring on her finger seemed to draw in all the light around them and gleam it back out at her. Sookie swallowed.

"It's beautiful," she said hoarsely. There was an inscription on the inside of the metal, and she slipped the ring off to get a better look. It was in a different language and she looked at him in puzzlement.

"It says," he hesitated, and when he looked back at her his eyes were so tender so almost cried out from the pain of it. "It says, 'finally complete.'" A tear slipped down her cheek. "Just as in the story, Sookie, I was nothing without love, and you showed me that. Our love will breathe life into our spirits. No one can break who we are."

She wiped her tears away and smiled feebly at him. "You really believe that?"

He nodded. "I believe in us."

* * *

Later, as they crouched in the dirt behind some trees, Sookie tried to recall the feeling of that café: the smell of coffee in the air, the feel of his touch, the sound of the child's laughter. To her dismay, all she could sense was the beat of her heart and the stitch in her lungs as she attempted to control her breathing.

They had a good view of the clearing from where they hid, but the distance Eric had insisted upon made her wonder if they would be able to see what happened.

"You're sure we have to be this far away?"

"Yes," he hissed, keeping his eyes trained ahead. "Felton is a werepanther, Sookie. He will have an incredible sense of smell and the last thing we want is him detecting us and attacking before Pam gets here."

As they watched, Carl stepped into the clearing, looking around suspiciously. Bruises covered his face and one of his eyes was still swollen shut. Sookie turned to look at Eric, whose own battle scars had faded to a light yellow and green tint on his serious face.

"I guess you won that fight after all," she joked, although she knew there was nothing funny about any part of their situation.

Carl paced around the clearing, kicking dirt and obsessively checking his watch.

"Thank you for this," Sookie felt Eric look at her, but she didn't meet his gaze. "Thank you for all that you're doing for me. It means everything."

Before he could say anything, a worn-down pick-up truck whirled into sight. It screeched to a halt a few feet away from Carl, blanketing the area in a cloud of dirt.

As Felton hopped out of the vehicle, Sookie sucked in a breath. She watched as he bounded over to Carl and grabbed the man in a hug, slapping his back enthusiastically. Jason was nowhere to be seen, but she knew. Somehow, she just knew Felton was the key to her brother's whereabouts.

She closed her eyes tightly against the scene. Her hand gripped tightly to Eric's wrist although she couldn't remember reaching for him. She could feel his heart pounding rapidly and she sent a silent prayer up into the sky. She pictured Jason's laughing face and sad eyes. She thought about all the people Eric had killed in his many years and their grieving families. Rene's face flittered across her closed eyelids, and then Gran's; Gran laughing, putting a band-aid on Sookie's scraped knee, cooking dinner, her body on the kitchen floor. She pictured the children she could have with Eric, blond and laughing and strong-willed. She imagined him swinging their son onto his shoulders and tickling their daughter as he reached down to kiss her lightly on the lips.

A breeze rustled the leaves around them and sent a chill down her spine. Nothing would ever be the same after this. Slowly, she opened her eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

Felton looked crazy. Sookie recognized she wasn't exactly objective in observing the man, but as she took in his exaggerated movements and wide eyes, her stomach clenched at the realization that he was either still high on V or simply insane, maybe both. She thought of what this meant for her brother. She pictured Jason, her strong, goofy big brother, bound and gagged somewhere, shivering and starving as the ropes bit into his flesh. Or maybe Felton hadn't gone that route and instead had murdered his captive long ago. Sookie prayed that her brother's possible death had been a quick one, then quickly shuddered at the direction of her thoughts. She reassured herself with the idea that Jason was more valuable to Felton alive rather than dead, and she thought that she might somehow sense it if her brother had passed away. Although illogical, she presumed her world would feel a bit off, if only for a moment, as her only sibling left the earth.

Felton was gesticulating wildly and he seemed to be yelling at Carl, although from this distance and with his double-nature, Sookie could neither hear him on a physical nor mental level. She wondered if Eric could read lips. She wanted to ask him if he knew what was going on between the men, but she scarcely dared breathe, let alone speak.

She felt the wild urge to run away from this nonsense. To grab Eric and drive off into the sunset, never to be heard from again. Not too long ago, she and her brother never would have been involved in such a mess, never would have even been able to dream up such a nightmare. She felt she had aged a tremendous amount in such a short span of time, and she looked back on her innocent and naive self with a blend of pity and longing. The sun was beginning its western descent, and although the chill in the air made her eyes water, she willed it to travel faster. She wanted this to be over. She wanted to hold her brother's hand and tell him everything would be alright. She wanted Eric to tell her everything would be alright and be able to believe him. Although she knew for a time that would be impossible, at that moment, as she watched her brother's abductor stalk around the clearing, she allowed herself the fantasy.

Suddenly, Felton froze. His chin lifted and he sniffed the air sharply, his nostrils flaring. Beside her, Eric stiffened. Sookie pressed her lips together and held her breath, and she swore her fear made even her heart screech to a halt. For an agonizing moment, Felton looked in their direction. Eric crouched on the balls of his feet, prepared to spring as they both remained completely still behind their cover of branches and leaves. As he glared, Felton's eyes began to glow an eerie yellow and his pupils contracted until they were tiny dots. His shoulders lifted and his head lowered at an almost imperceptible rate. If possible, he looked even crazier. He looked, Sookie realized, like an animal about to attack.

With a quickness and intensity that could only be attributed to the panther within, he whirled and pounced into the bushes to his left. The leaves shook and flew around as he wrestled with something out of sight. Sookie let out a breath. _'What the hell?'_ Was he getting a snack? Attacking a small woodland animal?

All of her relief drained swiftly from her body as he reemerged carrying his prey. In an instant, Eric's hand was over her mouth, muffling her startled cry. His other arm wrapped around her and pulled her tightly against him, restricting her movement. Sookie struggled against him instinctively, but when he pressed his lips to her ear and shushed her, she sagged in his arms, although her eyes continued to take in the scene in front of her. Felton, still in human form, dragged the body behind him, barely seeming fazed by the kicking and protests of his victim. He threw the man on the ground and watched as he rolled in the dirt. The man jumped up and defiantly wiped a smear of blood from his lip.

Sookie's heart lurched. _'Sam.'_

* * *

When Eric was reassured that Sookie wasn't going to draw attention to them, he slowly released her. She nodded at him to signal her compliance, but her mind was racing a mile a minute. What was Sam doing here? She thought guiltily back to her last conversation with her boss and remembered telling him that she would be leaving to find Jason. He had wanted so badly to help her, as he always did, and she had ignorantly remained mysterious, hinting at aid that she would have. She should have known the man would worry, that he would want to assist her, that he would tail her on the day he knew she was leaving so he could do what he believed to be right.

She watched helplessly while Carl restrained Sam and Felton hit him, the wind carrying his furious screams back to their hiding spot as he demanded to know Sam's identity and why he was there, who he was working for tonight. Sam remained silently and Sookie brought her hands to her face as he doubled over with the pain of another strike from Felton. He dropped to the ground and blood seemed to poor from every orifice of his face.

Felton reared back to land another blow and Sookie heard a cry rip through the air. The look of bewilderment on Felton's face mirrored her own as she looked around to find the source of the bellow. The horror etched in Eric's face beside her revealed instantly to her that it had been she who had screamed. Felton was staring at their hiding spot again, and Sookie knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had given them away.

_'Well, I'm all in now.' _She stood and ran to the clearing.

"Don't!" She called out as she skidded to a stop a few feet from the men. "He's here for me."

Sam lay flat on his back, gasping for breath and Felton looked more amused than angry at the moment. "And who the fuck are you?"

She felt Eric's presence behind her and Carl's face darkened. "Hey," he growled. "These are them people I told you about. That slut and this guy," he jerked a thumb toward Eric and began walking forward. Eric immediately brushed Sookie behind him. "This guy's the prick who came to my work and started shit."

Without another word, he threw himself at Eric and the two men began to scuffle on the ground.

"That doesn't answer my question," Felton's voice drew Sookie's attention away from the fray.

"What?"

Felton rolled his eyes and placed a boot on Sam's throat. "Who are you? And why are you here?"

The sound of flesh meeting flesh behind her made her wince, but she dared not take her eyes away from Felton to check on Eric. "Sookie," she said calmly. "Sookie Stackhouse."

"Stackhouse?" Felton's voice had a dangerous edge to it.

"I believe you have my brother. I want him back. That's all. I don't want any trouble. Just Jason."

"Jason," Felton repeated, his voice still sharp, but low.

"Yes. I don't know what he did to offend you, but I can assure you, he didn't mean it, and he's sorry, and he won't do it again, I promise. Please, just tell me where he is."

Eric resumed his position by her side, stained with blood and dirt. She didn't bother to investigate Carl's whereabouts.

"Jason," Felton said again.

"Yes," Sookie was getting impatient.

Felton grinned. "You three came all the way out here to die for that piece of shit?"

Eric's stance became defensive, but before Felton could make a move, the air around Sam began to quiver. They all watched while Sam's body began to shift and grow hair. Sookie willed him to turn into a lion or a dragon or something exceptionally fierce, but her hopes were dashed as she recognized the familiar collie to which Sam defaulted.

Felton's foot had lifted during the shift, and Sam scrambled to his feet, all four of them, and growled angrily at the man. Felton had the grace to look stunned for a moment before bursting into uproarious laughter.

"This," he cackled, holding his stomach. "This is your savior?" He continued chuckling and Eric slowly backed Sookie behind him, his face wary. "Well," Felton said wiping tears from his eyes. "If that's the game you want to play."

Once again the air became charged and practically crackled with energy. Sookie couldn't hold back her gasp as Felton vanished, and in his place appeared a lithe and spectacular panther. Sam growled again and took a menacing step forward, but when Felton roared, the whole forest went silent and the hair on the back of Sookie's neck stood on end. Sam's ears flattened against his head, but he did not retreat.

"Sam," Sookie entreated, and as the dog looked back at her, the panther pounced on him, his great jaws grabbing hold of the canine and tossing him through the air. Sookie screamed and she and Eric watched helplessly as Felton grabbed Sam's little body and began shaking him violently. The sounds of yelping and the smell of blood filled the air.

* * *

As he held Sookie's trembling body from interfering, Eric took inventory of the situation. The sun was beginning to dip under the horizon, but it would be at least twenty minutes before Pam awakened and arrived to defuse the situation. By that time, the dog, and presumably he and Sookie, would be dead. Damn that stupid shifter for following them and then being stupid enough to get close enough for the Panther to smell him. It was really his own fault that he was in this mess.

Eric glanced at the truck beside them; the keys were still in the ignition. The panther had torn a piece of flesh from Sam's body and was glowering excitedly at the bleeding animal. Felton was clearly lost in a fit of predatory blood lust. It would be easy to scoop Sookie up, jump into the truck with her and drive away from the scene. It would save both of them. They could even, he reasoned, come back when the sun fully set and Pam arrived. Felton would most likely still be feeding on the carcass of the other animal, and they could force him to reveal Jason's whereabouts; the goal of the evening would be complete. Then, he and Sookie could arrange for care for her brother and vanish from the area to begin their life together. He knew, now more than ever, that such a dream was what he truly wanted.

Eric's fingers tightened on Sookie's shoulders as he prepared to drag her to the truck, knowing there would be a stuggle. He faltered as he realized the degree of her shaking. Tears were running down her face as she watched her friend being attacked. The amount of blood spilled on the ground was foreboding, and it was obvious the life was quickly draining from the shifter.

"Sam," Sookie murmured, making one last attempt to free herself from Eric's grasp and help her friend.

Eric blinked. This wouldn't work, he realized with a sinking sensation. Sookie would never be the same after this; after they both watched her friend die and did nothing. She would lose herself, just as she feared she would. The shifter was of no consequence to him and he would give little thought to the man's demise, but Eric knew that Sookie would be tortured. She would feel guilt and remorse and shame. She would lose another person for whom she cared deeply. She might not recover from such an experience.

He realeased her, but in her horror, she barely regestered her freedom. Eric distanced himself from her carefully.

"Release him!" He screamed, and Felton looked up from his meal in surprise.

Licking his jowls, he rose slowly and stood a few feet away from Sookie and Eric, almost perfectly in the middle of the two lovers. His gaze finally settled on Sookie and his body lowered in anticipation of a second attack. Sookie watched the animal with wide eyes, feeling a primeval fear fill her. She knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she would die here in this clearing.

_ 'IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou' _

The thought hit her so hard, it was as though the thinker was screaming it aloud. She turned sharply to look at Eric and their eyes met.

"Eric," she cried, raising her hand and talking a step toward him, but before she could interfere, the potion was to his lips and the contents were swallowed.


	18. Chapter 18

_Thanks for sticking around guys, and I LOVE all you reviewers. Thanks SO much. This is not the end just yet, so there will be more chapters (hopefully soon)- just throwing that out there. :) -R_

* * *

The thunderous call of the heart monitor reverberated off the bloodless walls and collided with her chest. _Beep_. Talking over steaming piles of food. _Beep_. Making love in her backyard as the sun warmed them. _Beep_. Running through the house with her hair flying around her face as she turned back to laugh at him. _Beep_. The blood on his face after the fight. _Beep_. Sam's limp body on the ground. _Beep_. The mournful determination in his eyes. _Beep_. The crimson sheen on the sides of the empty vile as it crashed to the ground. _Beep_.

She closed her eyes and tried to steady herself with deep breaths. The stringent aroma of the sterile room restricted her air intake. She felt as though the bleached white covering on everything was looming dangerously close to suffocating her. Watching the steady drip of the IV into his forearm, she imagined each drip was strengthening him from within. She took his hand and squeezed it gently, hoping for any reaction, but he remained limp and unresponsive. The monitor continued to chirp its song of life and when a bittersweet taste filled her mouth, she realized in horror that she was going to be sick.

When she had emptied her stomach, she hugged the porcelain of the toilet for a moment. As she was rinsing her mouth out in the sink, she caught her own eye in the mirror and stared. Her flesh was ghostly pale and sweaty, her sallow appearance blending her in with the rest of the colorless world. She swallowed hard. Reaching into her purse, she extracted a tube of lipstick and numbly struck out at the mirror, leaving a trail of bright red across her reflection. She pondered the effect without any concrete thought and absently colored the rest of the mirror the same shade, until all she could see was the scarlet glow.

A knock on the door startled her from her revere. She fumbled with putting the cap back on the tube then carefully extracted herself from the bathroom, closing the door to hide her vandalism.

The doctor took in her disheveled appearance and offered her a sympathetic smile.

"When loved ones are in the hospital, it's always stressful." She nodded and cast her eyes downward. "He's going to be just fine. He'll make a full recovery. He's just unconscious right now because those IVs right there are giving him some medicine to make him more comfortable. A few days at most, then you can take him home."

"Thank you," she pressed her lips together in what she hoped looked like a smile. "Thank you so much."

"It would probably help us if we knew what had happened to him..."

Still, she found that she could not meet his eyes. "I wish I knew."

* * *

She sat at his bed undisturbed for another few hours until Sam poked his head in. She rose and stepped out into the hallway with him.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hi." There was an awkward pause. "You look great," she offered.

"Yeah," he ran a bashful hand through his hair. "All that blood Pam gave me really helped. I feel good."

Sookie smiled. "That's vampire blood for you."

"Yeah, she showed up just in time." The sharp look Sookie gave him made him falter. "I mean...I would have died if it wasn't for the three of you."

"You're right," for the first time all day, Sookie met someone's gaze and Sam flinched by the fire in her glare. "You would have died. What were you doing there, Sam? Why would you take on a panther with a transformation into a dog?"

"I thought you were in trouble-"

"I had it under control! Eric and I had it under control. We had a _plan_. It would have _worked_." She pressed a hand to her eyes as she began to get choked up.

"Sookie, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say except that: I'm sorry. I thought you needed help, I just wanted to look out for you. You know I care about you, I worry that you get yourself involved with those vampires-"

Sookie snorted.

"Those vampires? Those vampires saved your life and mine, again, Sam, and they have been there for me when no one else was and showed more humanity and compassion than any person I know!" Her chest heaved with angry breaths as she took in Sam's pity-filled eyes.

"I didn't mean Eric, Sookie. I'm sorry-" She held up a hand to silence him.

"It's," she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "It's done. I made mistakes too, so many mistakes. It's no one person's fault." She glanced down and they stood in silence. Finally, she looked at him once more. "I'm glad you're okay." Her smile trembled at the corners.

Sam put a hand on her shoulder. "And you'll be okay?"

"Yeah," her eyes avoided his. "I'll survive."

* * *

She sat in the silence of her car for a while when she got home, her forehead against her steering wheel. With great effort, she extracted herself from the automobile and began walking toward her darkened house. As she was unlocking the door, a voice arose from the shadows.

"Sookie."

Sookie yelped and whirled around with her hands raised in defense. The owner of the voice looked at her with barely concealed amusement.

"A little on edge?"

"Eric," she sighed. "I didn't see you there." When he half-smiled she added snarkily, "skulking in the shadows."

He chuckled. "Skulking? Simply waiting, Sookie."

"Waiting?"

"For you to arrive home. I wondered how you were. How your brother is fairing."

"Jason will be fine," she ran a hand through her hair and over her face, suddenly feeling exhausted. "He's on a lot of meds, so he's pretty out of it; he sleeps mostly. The doctor says he'll be okay."

"And you, Sookie? Are you okay?"

"Just peachy." Her growling stomach interrupted their silence and she grimaced in embarrassment. "Except I may be a little hungry."

"Perhaps a little Burger King is called for?" Eric was smiling at her so that she couldn't help but laugh.

"Only you, Eric, would ever love fast food so much."

"I never knew you were so judgmental, Sookie."

"I never knew you were such a fatty, Eric."

"Perhaps-"

His fingers brushed the back of her hand as he began to speak and she immediately, instinctively recoiled from the ice of his touch. Her eyes shot up to meet his, and as if by some stroke of magic, she fell through his gaze until they were back in the clearing and she was standing in front of him. The vile was splintered on the ground before him and he was crouched on his hands and knees, his head tucked against his chest and his back heaving with labored breaths.

"Eric!" She was too stunned to approach him and Felton seemed to be having the same experience in his panther form as his large head tilted in curiosity at the man.

Eric began to cough and Sookie could see his body trembling. "Eric!" She ran over to him and put one hand on his back, the other on his chest. His ribcage was expanding and contracting as he gasped against her. "Just breath," she exclaimed in panic. "It's going to be okay! You're going to be okay."

He turned his head to look at her and his eyes were wide with wonder and fear. "Sook-" he panted. "Sook-, Sook-" His eyes were beginning to tear from his coughs. "Sookie." He dropped his head to rest on his clasped hands in the dirt.

"Eric, oh my God." She held his shuddering body and looked around desperately as the sun finally sank from sight. Eric took another gasp that seemed to shake the entire forest, and then he was still.

With her arms still wrapped around him, Sookie began to shake him gently. "Eric?" His body swayed under her touch as dead weight. "Eric!"

A growl behind her brought her back to the reality of the situation, but before she could think of screaming, Eric body was ripped from her grasp and Felton was slammed against a tree. While the cat roared, his body became a blur as he was knocked against tree after tree, so quickly Sookie could barely keep track, until finally the human Felton returned, so exhausted only Eric's hand on his chest kept him upright.

"Where is he?" Eric snarled. When Felton made no response, Eric raised his arm so that the man's feet dangled off the ground. "Where?"

"Thirty miles from here. In the trailer on Bungay Road," Felton's voice was barely a whisper. "I didn't kill him." Eric's back was to Sookie, but although she could not see his face, she could clearly make out the fear on Felton's.

"How kind," Eric grunted, and as Sookie watched, he sank his fangs into Felton's neck, filling the clearing with the sounds of his feeding.

Pam appeared beside Sookie. "Well," she smirked. "What have we here?"

Eric whirled to face them and Sookie saw that the bruises on his face from the fight had healed, there was human blood smeared on his mouth and chin, and, as their gaze connected, she realized a light was gone from his eyes.

* * *

Sookie blinked back to the present to find those same blue eyes staring at her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Although his face showed no sign of hurt, she realized that she had pulled away from him and took his hand in hers. "Sorry, I just forgot. I got so used to you being warm. You were always so warm"

Eric said nothing. "So," she sighed. "What now?"

"Now, I must settle thing at Fangtasia, my absence and Pam's distraction has caused trouble for the bar. There is also the matter of the witch and Yvetta to which I must attend."

"So you're going to be busy for a while, huh?"

"Yes."

Sookie hesitated. "So will I still see you?"

Eric took a step closer and looked down at her intently. "Oh yes, I plan on seeing a lot of you very often." Sookie smiled weakly at his joke. "Things will settle down soon, Sookie and we'll talk then."

His voice was gentle, but brisk and Sookie marveled at how much he had already changed. Gone were the tender looks and sensitive musings; as if his lack of heartbeat forbade such emotional actions. Still, here he was, holding her hand and reassuring her. She smiled at him although it felt forced.

"Okay, you let me know."

"I will." He gave her hand one last squeeze and then stepped off her porch and began to walk away.

Sookie watched his retreating form saunter across her driveway before calling out, "Eric!"

He half-turned to look at her and she smiled sadly at him. "It was a nice dream wasn't it?"

He regarded her for a long moment. "It was. It was a wonderful dream."

Without another word he walked away, fingering the burn on his palm from her silver ring, marveling at the fact that even as the wound began to close, he could still feel the ache.


	19. Chapter 19

_I really want to apologize for how long this last chapter took me! There's a long list of reasons (from the holidays to my crashed computer), but it's done now and I want to thank everyone for sticking with me and all the reviews! This will be the LAST chapter of this story. I want to write another one, but I'm not sure if it should be a sequel or a whole new adventure so please, please review this chapter and then let me know what you think my next one should be about. Thanks so much for everything! - R_

* * *

The overwhelming thrum of the music and bodies dancing was comforting as it vibrated her skin and screamed evidence of life. When she closed her eyes, Sookie could almost pretend that she was in an average nightclub, the kind she and Tara had snuck off to in high school, with too-loud music, strobe lights, and handsy boys made brave by alcohol. Her telepathic shields, however, were still not strong enough to guard her against the onslaught of dirty and deadly thoughts swirling around the bar, and she couldn't help but feel on edge as she listened to fantasies of violence and pain.

"Any interesting ideas?" Eric smirked at her from across the booth and she rolled her eyes at him.

"No. Some deranged ones though." They both watched as sweaty human bodies glided against frigid vampire ones on the floor. "All the men here want to be dominated and all the women think the vampires will fall in love with them and make a life with them." Sookie shook her head in disgust.

"Yes, after all that never happens," Eric said wryly.

Sookie laughed. "Yeah, well not often at least."

"Well look at the happy couple," Pam glided up to their table and grinned at them, an act that would have been significantly more frightening if Sookie weren't used to the sight of Pam's fangs and offbeat sense of humor.

"Sitting here in the corner, whispering sweet nothings to each other," Pam continued. "It reminds me of one of those eighties movies I've seen. If I ask the DJ to put on a slower song will you two serenade each other and give us a show?"

Sookie chuckled at the vampire, but Eric only looked bored. "Can I help you with something, Pamela?"

"Why yes, Eric, you can. You see that tiny human over there?" She motioned toward a petite brunette wearing a baby-T with "Fangtasia" embroidered on the front. "She had an issue with another customer and blah, blah, blah, you're needed."

Eric heaved a weary sigh and patted Sookie's hand as he extracted his long legs from beneath the table. "I'll be right back."

Pam quickly slid in to fill his empty spot, crossing her scantly covered thighs elegantly. "So," she said, tracing the moisture running from Sookie's drink with the tip of one finger. "Do you feel as uncomfortable as you look?"

"No!" Sookie exclaimed. "I mean, I'm not...I look that uncomfortable?" Pam gave her a smile rich with pity and Sookie avoided her eyes. "It's not that I'm uncomfortable with you or Eric, it's just all these thoughts around here, I have trouble keeping them out and they're so focused on violence and sex..."

"Mmm." Pam stuck her damp finger in her mouth and sucked on it slowly. "Violence and sex are two of the most important parts of both Eric and myself, of the entire vampire world."

Sookie faltered. "I know that. I'm not saying...I mean when there's just so much of it swirling around and," she applied pressure to the bridge of her nose. "I'm trying here, Pam, okay? I still come here and I'm fine with you and Eric, it's just an adjustment to be around all these thoughts and people that are so different from me."

"Yes, I can understand that from an objective level I suppose," Pam's voice was thoughtful. "Eric has had difficulty reacclimating as well."

"He has?"

"Indeed. He still refuses to discuss the events of those days as a breather with you, yet I can see it in his face, his eyes, the way he talks, that something has changed for him. He seems distant," her eyes rose to meet Sookie's. "Is there anything I should know?"

"No, I don't think so."

Pam's eyes never wavered from Sookie's. "Very well. It only filters in at certain moments and they are fewer and fewer and will eventually cease. Regardless, I am the only one who notices the changes. It won't be a problem."

"What won't be a problem?" Sookie jumped at the sudden reappearance of Eric but Pam didn't miss a beat.

"You, spending time up there on your throne for all your fans." When Eric scowled, Pam grinned. "It must be difficult being so adored, but that's just your burden to bear."

Eric was still grumbling as Pam walked away, and Sookie smiled at him. "Why do you do it if you don't want to? You're the boss, right?"

"Yes, but it is a large part of the draw of Fangtasia. If I stopped doing it, business would suffer."

"It's not like you really need the money, or the job come to think of it."

"No, but others here do." His eyes followed Pam as she stalked across the floor toward a cowering customer. "The stability of the job and the pay, while unnecessary and sometimes tiresome for me, is useful for others and I do not mind helping to keep the arrangement running for them."

Sookie studied him, taking in the breadth of his brow and the elegant arch of his lips. "Even if it annoys you?"

"A small sacrifice. Life is full of them, you know. If any good is to be accomplished, people must sacrifice for others on occasion."

"For the ones they love," she added, and he looked at her seriously.

"Perhaps you're right."

She smiled at him and brushed his hand in an attempt to lighten the moment. "What happened to the Eric who didn't understand love?"

He returned her smile. "I still don't, but I suppose that doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

They were silent for a few moments, but it felt comfortable, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Sookie reflected briefly on the journey their relationship had made in so short a time. It was only a few months ago that he had stepped so uncertainly into her life as a fellow human, and now they were back at square one, it seemed, yet so much had changed. Settling back into the vampire lifestyle had been easier than she had anticipated, and she enjoyed her time with Eric these days. Although they still had not consummated their relationship in its newly acquired form, they spent ample time together, and she no longer flinched from the hard ice of his lips against her own.

Still, when she dreamed at night she could not control her mind or her desires. During her waking hours it was so much easier to remind herself that this was her life from now on, and there was no point in dwelling on the past. At night, however, her memories had a life of their own, and she often found herself walking in the afternoon glow with Eric or marveling at the beauty of the sunlight slanting on his face as he hovered over her. The dreams were becoming less and less frequent and Sookie imagined that one day they would stop all together, just as Pam had said, and she wasn't sure if she would rejoice or mourn this event.

In any case, she was happy to still be with Eric, to have forged this bond, although they never talked about it. They had never once discussed the events of their time together, the feelings that had emerged, or the reason for its end. Sookie sometimes thought it funny that during their time together in her house, the majority of their discussions revolved around their feelings and now they carefully tiptoed around the subject. And never, not once, had either of them said 'I love you' out loud to each other. Sookie thought about telling Eric, after all she had been at an unfair advantage with her mind reading before, but she worried it would upset him.

Looking at him from across the table, feeling the cool marble of his hand in her own, she could picture him in that clearing: the look in his eyes. He deserved to know, even if he didn't want to hear it.

"Eric?" He looked at her. "I just want to let you know, I mean I know that discussions of feelings aren't exactly your forte, but I just want you to know that I do-"

A loud crash rang in her ears and there was a blur of color and noise for what seemed only a few seconds.

"What was that?" Sookie looked across the table at Eric, only to find that he was no longer there; that she was no longer in the booth, but across the room, laying on her back. "What?" She felt sluggish and confused, too confused to be scared.

"Sookie." Suddenly, Eric filled her vision and she gazed up at him in bewilderment.

"Eric, what happened? How did I get over here?"

"Sookie, don't worry," his voice sounded strangely far away although he floated mere inches from her face. "You're going to be okay; I'm going to get it out."

"What?" She laughed and attempted to sit up. "Get what out?" His hands gently pushed her back down and the cement of the floor felt cool against her cheek as she watched the stampede of fleeing feet exiting Fangtasia's doors. "Everyone's leaving," she said absently, but Eric didn't look around. He continued to stare down at her. His hands on her shoulder felt warm, so warm and she laughed again. _Was this a dream?_

"You're warm again!" She took one of his hands to hold it against her cheek but started when it appeared dripping red before her eyes. "Eric, you're hurt!" she cried, ignoring his pleas to lie still as she sat up and searched him for the wound.

"She's losing it; it's the blood loss," Pam's voice flittered into Sookie's consciousness, but she couldn't see the female vampire.

"Pam?" she called out. "Eric's hurt!"

"Shh, Sookie. Shh. It's okay." Eric's hands were on her again, guiding her back down, soothing her, warming her shoulder. She turned her head to locate the source of his heat, and blinked in astonishment at a large piece of wood protruding from her upper chest. Eric's hands were pressing against the hole, trying to staunch the blood, trying to locate the best form of removal.

"It's me," she said in wonder. "I'm hurt."

"You're going to be okay," Eric's voice was firm. "This will hurt."

"I can't feel it," a hysterical bubble of mirth erupted from deep within her. "I can't feel the pain. But I can still feel you, inside me, always inside me, such a good man." Eric faltered and met her eyes before Sookie felt a pressure in her muscle.

"This will hurt," he warned again and Sookie closed her eyes.

"I'm used to the pain."

She felt the tear in her shoulder and vaguely heard a strangled scream before everything went black.

* * *

When Sookie awoke, she was sprawled on Eric's couch in his office, wearing only her panties. "Mmm," she mumbled, feeling a tightness in her chest, not exactly pain, but discomfort. Eric was beside her, his face controlled, but his eyes concerned. "If you wanted to get me naked again, you could have just asked."

Eric laughed through his nose. "You know, I think this may have been the first instance ever, where _that _was the furthest thing from my mind."

"The furthest?" She closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against his hand when he brushed her hair back.

"Well, perhaps not the furthest. But for once it wasn't at the forefront."

She smiled but didn't open her eyes. "What happened?"

"There was a large fight, a vampire was thrown into you," Eric's voice was tight with anger. "You were halfway across the room before I realized what was happening; I was distracted." He paused and she patted his hand reassuringly. "You landed on a table and it shattered. Somehow a large piece sliced right through your-"

"Oh yes," she murmured. "I remember that part enough, thanks."

"It shouldn't have happened. It won't happen again."

"I healed fast." She ran her fingers over the puckered skin stretched across her shoulder.

"You lost a lot of blood."

"So you gave me a lot of blood," She offered.

"Yes," uncertainty clouded the word and she looked at him.

"I'm not mad, Eric. Thank you for saving me. I'm just...trying to piece everything together. I'm not used to blacking out."

"It happens when you're around vampires."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I guess it does."

She accepted the drink of water he offered her and found that she could sit up with little difficulty.

"I don't feel so bad," she was cautiously optimistic and he gave her a small smile.

"I'll take you home, you just need some rest."

* * *

Sookie wobbled experimentally on her shaky legs as Eric helped her out of the car. She felt light and a bit dizzy, but she didn't feel much pain so she attempted to stride towards her house and stumbled. Eric made a move to pick her up, but she shook her head vehemently.

"I can do it."

"Stubborn."

She stuck out her tongue at him. "Takes one to know one." He grinned at her and looped their arms together as she began taking small steps toward their destination. His hand was cool and comforting on hers and she allowed herself to rest her weight against him as they moved together.

"You could have just stayed at my house," he offered and she nudged him playfully.

"And miss out on your action star driving moves? Never! I felt like I was on a roller coaster."

He pulled her close and chuckled. "Just because you drive like an eighty-year old blind woman-"

Sookie slapped at his chest. "Excuse me, but who is a gazillion years old here?"

"Sookie, Sookie," he tsked. "When will you learn to respect your elders?"

She grinned up at him and then frowned when he stopped suddenly and grunted.

"What is it?" She asked then gasped as blood began to spread across his chest. "Eric! What-"

A blur to her right that had been too fast for her to notice initially made her shriek as Eric fell to his knees. The smear of color collided with Eric and sent him reeling across her yard and before Sookie could respond, the blur slowed to reveal Bill's form gloating over Eric's.

"Too bad you're not still a vampire, Eric. We're much quieter and faster than humans, and we don't have to worry about pesky little accidents with knives." He dangled a long blade covered in blood teasingly before the blond vampire.

Sookie rushed to Eric's side but Bill grabbed her before she could see the extent of his damages. She shouted and struggled against him angrily. He set her on the ground near her porch.

"Relax! I'm not going to hurt you."

"What the hell are you doing, Bill?" Fury was beating in her like a drum, quelled only by the fact that Bill seemed unaware that Eric was no longer human.

"I had to do it, Sookie. Eric is dangerous and he's no good for you. I knew the other night when I saw he had somehow transformed into a human that I had to make my move. He would only have made you suffer; you know that, don't you? Deadly occurrences follow him everywhere and I couldn't let him drag you down with him. I knew I had to protect you and when I saw him in human form, it was like a sign."

"So you decided to murder him?"

"I had to, Sookie, for you. And besides, he was simply too tempting as a human morsel to pass up. I couldn't believe it when I saw his state. Eric Northman, a human? I wasn't fully convinced of it until I smelt his human scent inside your house, then I knew for certain that the unimaginable had occurred."

"You broke into my house?"

"You're missing the point!" Sookie took a step back from the frustrated outrage in Bill's voice. "I was no match for such an old vampire, but I knew I could save you from a human. I had to make sure it was true. I've pondered this for weeks, how and where it should be done. He never came here anymore, you always went to Fangtasia where he was out of sight and protected by his pathetic followers."

"You've been watching me?" Sookie felt sick.

"But now it's done," Bill continued as if she hadn't spoken. "I've saved you from all the dangers Eric represents. I can respect your decision not to be with me, although I continue to love you, but I could not stand by and watch your life disintegrate under his influence."

Her shock having worn off, Sookie began to feel the fire of her indignation again.

"How dare you, Bill Compton! You are a murderer and a, a... creep! Skulking in the shadows after me and trying to control my life. How dare you judge Eric. He is a good man and a good boyfriend and he would never endanger me!"

Bill smiled at her fondly. "You've always been so naive about people, about the forces in this world. So optimistic. It's one of the things I love best about you." He took a step toward her. "But think this time, Sookie. You know Eric has lived a life of debauchery for over a thousand years, piling up enemies and debts and a hardened heart. Even if you don't want to think it, you must know that he will always be dangerous, even if he doesn't wish to be. It is the life he has built for himself, the life he has chosen, and he cannot escape it now. And anyone who involves herself with him will be dragged into the chaos eventually. I couldn't let that happen to you."

He reached out to touch her hand and she glowered at him. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Sookie-"

The word ended in a squeak as Eric, having fully healed during their discussion, crashed the smaller vampire against a tree with his hand wrapped around his neck.

"Eric," Bill gasped. "Impossible! I thought you were..."

"No, Bill, obviously you don't think," Eric gritted out through clenched teeth. "Otherwise you would have realized that I have been kind to you in the past, lenient even, but eventually my good will would run out. If you _thought_," Eric slammed Bill against the trunk with the word. "You would have stayed away from Sookie and from me because you would have known that my patience with you was running thin. But alas, here you are. So we can establish that you do not think, Bill." Bill kicked out at Eric, but the stronger vampire simply tightened his grip.

"Eric," Sookie called uncertainly from a few feet away.

"So," Eric pressed his mouth close to Bill's ear as he growled. "This, I can promise you, is my last bit of kindness: leave Bon Temps and never return. If you do, and trust me I will know if you are even thinking of it, I will destroy you without a second thought. Now leave us."

He was back by Sookie in a half-second; leaving a stunned Bill slumped against the tree.

"Sookie!" Bill attempted one last time, but when Eric whirled around, roaring with fury, the dark haired man cast a look at the woman before melting into the shadows.

Sookie gingerly fingered the drying blood on Eric's shirt. "Are you okay?"

"A knife wound in the back?" Eric grinned at her. "A poetic choice from Bill but not practical against a vampire. My pride hurts most."

Her smile was weak. "I'm surprised you let him live."

"Yes, well, I know you still care for him although I don't pretend to comprehend why."

"Another sacrifice."

Their eyes met. "Yes, well." He cleared his throat and they stood there awkwardly. "It's been a busy night."

She laughed. "I was almost killed, then you were almost killed; It's pretty typical for us."

He smiled at her. "Not exactly the boring life you once dreamed of."

She laced her fingers with his, allowing her body to slowly adjust to the ice of his touch. "Dreams change."

* * *

Sookie kicked the door shut behind her and leaned against it with an exhausted sigh. The television was blaring from her living room and she allowed herself an extra moment's rest before drudging to the source with a scowl on her face.

Her living room appeared to be suffering from a pandemic of encompassing filth, as half-empty pizza boxes, soda cans, crumpled napkins, and a myriad of other germ-spreading paraphernalia littered every surface.

Sookie shifted the weight of the bags in her hand and narrowed her eyes at the culprit of such revolting living: her brother.

"Jason!"

He shot up, with a pizza crust dangling from his lip and a suspicious looking stain on the front of his shirt. Realizing it was Sookie, he settled back into his spot on the couch, Sookie wondered if she'd ever be able to reverse the concave indent from his ass from which her cushions were suffering.

"Oh hey Sis, what's up?"

"I just got back from the store and I really wish I didn't have to come home to such a mess, Jason. I mean, how do you live like this? Is this what your house usually looks like? I feel like we're going to start having bugs in here from all this rotting food and trash."

"Mmhm." He was nodding at her but his eyes were glued to the TV.

Sookie gritted her teeth. "Jason." No response. "Jason?" When he remained silent she stomped over to the coffee table and snatched up the remote, turning off the football game before her brother had a chance to react.

"Hey, Sook! What the hell?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I want to know. As in, what the _hell _makes you think it's okay to leave my house like this?" When Jason glowered at her, she continued. "I don't have a problem with you staying her for a while Jace, but honestly I can't take this mess anymore, I mean, it's just unsanitary. I'm not saying you have to do the dishes or vacuum or anything like that, just put your trash into the trashcan. It's pretty simple."

"Yeah, you know what? It is pretty simple. For people who haven't been kidnapped, starved and tortured! Or maybe you forgot that those things happened to me and that's why you don't understand why cleaning your precious house isn't on the top of my list of important things to do as I recover."

Sookie took a deep breath to calm her overflowing temper. "I know those things happened to you, Jason, and I'm very sorry. I was very worried about you and I'm glad you're okay, that's why I'm letting you stay here; because I love you. I understand that you were hurt during that time, but it has been a few months since you were saved and I would think that by now walking a few feet to the trash can wouldn't be such an impossibility."

"You're right. You're right." Sookie shut her eyes at the sarcastic smile that stretched across his face. "I forgot that there's a time limit for recovering from sadistic torture and starvation! Good thing I have you here to remind me about the important things in life, like a tidy living room!"

"Okay, okay," the plastic bags swung on her wrist as she held up her hands in surrender. "I don't want to fight with you about this, okay? You know I'm happy to have you here and I care much more about you and your health than a little mess. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I just hope you can maybe clean up a bit more, as a favor to me?"

Her concession easily settled him and he eyed her curiously. "What's in the bags?" He asked, completely ignoring her request.

"I stopped by the pharmacy after work."

"What'd you get me?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "I come bearing," she dug around in the bags until she found what she was looking for. "Pain meds," she held up the pill bottle with a flourish. "And snacks." She tossed the Twinkies and Doritos at him and he eagerly tore them both open.

Watching him stuff both items in his mouth at once, Sookie's lip curled in disgust. "You know you should eat healthier. You're going to get fat."

Jason turned the TV back on. "Impossible. Besides, you're the one enabling my habit." Without taking his eyes from the screen he motioned to the bag left in her hand. "What's in that one?"

She hesitated long enough so that his eyes flicked over to her. "Tampons," she said finally and Jason groaned and covered his ears.

"After all the women you've been with Jason, I'd think you'd know about the intricacies of the menstrual cycle"

"Ugh, I like to pretend my women don't gush blood every month"

"Plus you don't usually stick around long enough to witness the blessed event." Jason threw a Twinkie at her and she ducked and scurried away.

"Guess I'll go, 'take care of business,'" she hollered over her shoulder as she headed to the bathroom, laughing at the sound of Jason's bellow of protest.

The click of the door behind her echoed like the inside of a tomb and she closed her eyes against the overwhelming pressure of the emptiness and the weight of the bag in her hand.

* * *

Sookie weaved her way through the bodies, marveling at the fact that Fangtasia was always crowded, especially lately. She attributed this to obvious glee customers felt at the reappearance of a certain blond Viking.

"The usual?" A waitress glided up to her with a frosty gin and tonic prepared, but Sookie shook her head mutely and scanned the crowd for her vampire.

He was in a back booth, talking with Pam, and although his staff had noticed Sookie's presence, he had not.

Sookie used the moment to study the man who had so changed her life. She thought of how she had once viewed Eric, as a manipulative, fearsome creature, and she remembered the way he had tricked her into drinking his blood and snarled at her in Russell's house.

Alone in the corner, she could almost hear the deep rumble of his voice as he spoke:

_There once was a man who searched always for the way to the gods. He knew that the gods watched over all Their people and judged them, waiting for those who were worthy to join Them in Their rankings. The man became a fearsome warrior, killing all who opposed him. He built houses for his people and became their leader. His people were never hungry and their fields yielded many crops. He was the perfect leader and all among him were awed. But still, the gods did not touch him._

_The man grew frustrated. He conquered other villages and built shrines to prove his worth. He went on lone quests into the wilderness to display his dedication, but still, the gods were not impressed._

Sookie remembered the hesitation and uncertainty on Eric's face as he entered her house as a human for the first time, the eager pull of his hand as he led her to his homemade feast, the softening of his smile as he gazed at her, the gentle brush of his hand as they made love in the sunshine. So much had changed. She thought of the sincerity in his voice as he admitted, both to her and himself, that he wished to remain human and to stay with her. A tear slid down her cheek at the memory of his grand self-sacrifice as he swallowed the potion that would end his dream.

_One day a crazed man came to his village lusting for the leader's blood. The man was pleased because he thought that this could be his ultimate test: if he killed this man, the gods could no longer ignore his nobility. Before he could act, however, the outsider grabbed the man's son and held a knife to the boy's throat. The man knew that he could beat the stranger in a battle, but his son would be killed in the fray. He knew that the gods loved revenge and would delight in him killing his boy's murderer. He knew these things, but still he dropped his spear and spread his arms wide knowing that the stranger truly wanted his heart and not the child's. As his spirit left his body, the gods guided him to Their palace in the sky and breathed life into him. They honored him, for in his death he showcased pure love and sacrifice, traits beyond that of a mere human._

It was funny, she mused, that after over a thousand years as a vampire, Eric had taught her so much about being a human. There was selfishness in all of us, yearnings and desires that expand and burn within us so that we feel as though we might die if we ignore them. Human nature dictates that we act upon this urges to make ourselves happy.

More than anything she could remember wanting, Sookie wanted to be with Eric, to hold him and love him and wait with bated breath to see where their relationship would take them. Although they never discussed it and she had never gotten the chance to respond with her own feelings, she knew that he loved her and would do his best to protect her and make her happy.

But the true mark of a good person, as Eric had shown her, was making sacrifices for those whom you loved; putting your own wishes aside for the betterment of someone else.

Her eyes scanned the area where a few weeks ago she had been so badly hurt. The scar on her chest had almost vanished, but when she ran a finger over it she could still feel the puckered wound. If it wasn't for Eric's quick thinking, she would have died that night. Had Bill not been mistaken about Eric's human form, he would have died later that night. It was a dangerous life they led together, yet she knew that she didn't care about that anymore. That being with Eric was worth the risk.

She marveled at the fact that she felt so resolute standing here; a few months ago she would have already been weeping, but she was a stronger person because of Eric.

Eric still hadn't noticed her and although she longed to run to him, she stayed where she was across the room.

"I love you" her eyes were on the vampire and her hands rested on her stomach. "I love you, I love you, I love you." Her words were so quiet so couldn't be sure she had actually spoken, but then Eric's eyes blazed up to meet hers.

His eyes greedily took her in, her blonde hair hanging lose around her shoulders, her bittersweet smile, her hands. His eyes rose to hers again and she simply blinked at the question on his face.

"Good-bye," she whispered.

We have to make sacrifices for those that we love. The door swung shut behind her as she walked out into the night, lonely, but not alone.


	20. Author's Note

_I just wanted to thank everyone for the overwhelming amount of responses and messages I've received with feedback and suggestions in regards to Only Human and what I should embark on next._

_I have written a sequel to Only Human. It is titled "Where We Belong." _

_Please read it and review if you get a chance._

_Thanks so much and please stick with me!_

_-R_


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